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Husband ex pushing to watch my child

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 12:56 AM
  • 24 Replies
My husband ex pushing the issue with watching my son so her son can play with him at her house,, She call CPS on us 4 times,,, we were in court for 5 years. There alot of issues.. I say hell no my husband agree then he hung at her house for 2 hours so kids can play togather.. it piss me off it all about doing it for the kids sake.. Am i over reacting my step son is encourgeing my son to go againist me and my husband say when we drop my step son off he unbuckle his seat belt and my son thou a fit because he want to stay at my hubby ex house. is there a way to stop this
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 12:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
packermomof2
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 1:03 AM

Do you think the kid's relationship is important?  If yes, do you feel it should only happen as you say it should?  If so, does that mean dad doesn't have a say (assuming your child is also his)? 

SMInProgress
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 9:51 AM
1 mom liked this

Called CPS 4x on you?? HELL NO!!!  you know yourself this isn't to be trusted. Is your DH's head buried in the sand? Is he non-thinking? Is he crazy? The definition of crazy is doing the same things over & over again, expecting a different result.  4x CPS called in on your guys & court issues?????? Hell to the NO!

chanizen
by Platinum Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 9:53 AM
2 moms liked this
I wouldn't allow it. While she is likely not abusive, she is hostile and not someone who I would want watching my child.

But do imagine for a moment that this is exactly what many sms want to force on BMs. And for the same reason "the relationship of the siblings". Just so long as the sm (or the bm in your case) can control it.

In either case it is wrong. Parent (in this case you) trumps. Parent says no.

I would counter this by saying "I am happy to facilitate a relationship between the kids on my time. I see no need for anything further".

And If my dh was so stupid as to allow it, he would be eating beans and sleeping alone, and listening to me bitch for a long time. I would be pissed off beyond belief,
Gmmhealy
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:11 AM
I wouldn't allow it either. But in the interest of the boys having a good relationship and you not looking like the bad guy maybe you could suggest some play dates for the boys in a public place like a park where you can be present without having to be in her house.
GlockMom
by Gold Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:31 AM
Why was CPS called?
Graceplustwo
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this
Ummm first off that is weird. Why wouldn't ss be over his dads house to see his half sibblings. Your bio has no reason to EVER meet with or have anything to do with ss bm. They are not related and as far as I concerned that's that . My dh would never let that slide. That is seriously sooooo weird she would even want that. I think a normal response would be , hey ss misses his sibling , can you come pick him up for the weekend exc exc. Yes you should be able to stop it. Itd your child.
Graceplustwo
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:38 AM
2 moms liked this
Why can't the kid go over his dads house to see his half sibbling? That's NORMALLY what ppl do. And yes a relationship is important but that's what happens in a divorced home. If you have half sibblings, you don't always get to see them because you have different parents. And if ss misses sibbling, he should go to dads house, esp if in op case, she is not comfortable with it


Quoting packermomof2:

Do you think the kid's relationship is important?  If yes, do you feel it should only happen as you say it should?  If so, does that mean dad doesn't have a say (assuming your child is also his)? 


teaching_kids
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:38 AM
I used to take SM's son for over nights or weekends & at one point I had a restraining order against my sons father. And this kids mother gave me all kinds of problems...

But her kid is not her & my son loved spending time with his step brother. So I took him often. Also, when they went on their honeymoon-I had her son for a few days as well...

One thing had nothing to do with the other..
Graceplustwo
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:40 AM
Like this idea


Quoting chanizen:

I wouldn't allow it. While she is likely not abusive, she is hostile and not someone who I would want watching my child.



But do imagine for a moment that this is exactly what many sms want to force on BMs. And for the same reason "the relationship of the siblings". Just so long as the sm (or the bm in your case) can control it.



In either case it is wrong. Parent (in this case you) trumps. Parent says no.



I would counter this by saying "I am happy to facilitate a relationship between the kids on my time. I see no need for anything further".



And If my dh was so stupid as to allow it, he would be eating beans and sleeping alone, and listening to me bitch for a long time. I would be pissed off beyond belief,

packermomof2
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 1:21 PM

 


Quoting Graceplustwo:

Why can't the kid go over his dads house to see his half sibbling? That's NORMALLY what ppl do. And yes a relationship is important but that's what happens in a divorced home. If you have half sibblings, you don't always get to see them because you have different parents. And if ss misses sibbling, he should go to dads house, esp if in op case, she is not comfortable with it

Because one of the parents (again, assuming, OP hasn't said if dad is the parent of her child) said this was okay.  Why does it need to be the way SM wants it done and not the way dad does?

There is no "should" here... people can do things the way they like.  But if it is truly about the kid's relationship no one would have a problem with where the kids were together.  When someone says it needs to be or should be with dad and SM it isn't about the kids at all.  It's about what SM and dad want and not what might actually work for others as well... if the kid misses the sibling does it really hurt that the kid not be taken from mom (if it is her time) and the shared parent of the kid who is missing their sibling make an effort to have the kids together?


 

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