For those who don't know my background, here a short summary ...
Separated for nearly 7 years, for the majority of this time we practised a near 50/50 (on paper I am CP though). SM's involvement limited due to restrictions in the CO. I pay for the majority of DD13's upbringing (no CS), even at BF's house (sending along underwear, soap, toothpaste etc.).
I've posted on here on several occasions about the sharing of underwear at BF's house ... underwear and socks I provide get worn by SM's two children. This isn't about SM's children per se, it's about the fact that I consider it unhygienic (especially now that SM's oldest has started her period ... I have no intention bleaching bloodied knickers if I don't know whose blood it is). DD has offered to do her own laundry, BF declined. I have offered to do DD's laundry at mine, BF declined. We are still trying to find a solution for this one.
Now, a new problem has come up. Since soap/toothpaste etc. aren't always available at BF's house, I either send it along, or DD buys it herself ... she buys those items with money provided by me (no pocket money at BF's house). Over the past couple of months, DD has repeatedly tried talking to her stepsisters about not entering her room and taking her cosmetics and clothes ... to no avail. Yet again, over the weekend a tub of facial cleanser (DD is getting a bit spotty at the moment) was taken from her room .... she found it empty downstairs in the living room.
When asking SM who took it, SM flipped (and this is not the first time over the same issue). She screamed and shouted, complaining about DD being unable to share, etc. etc. etc.
Now, DD does know how to share. But she has been taught to ASK before taking something, and obviously expects to be asked in return. As a last resort, she now wants a lockable box for her room ... and she wants me to take her to buy it. I don't think this is the right approach, since SM will flip again.
I think DD should talk to BF, who should in turn talk to SM about house rules etc. DD thinks this will just lead to another fight between BF and SM, and she'll be made to pay.
What do you think? Would you consider these items "personal", and should they therefore be "off-limits" to DD's stepsisters?