
I don't know how old any of the kids are, so I don't know how much help this will be. But it does sound like they are feeling threatened. I think all kids should help around the house in age appropriate ways. And you and your DH HAVE TO maintain a united front. If one of you disagrees with the other the two of you should take it completely away from all kids and discuss it. Even if that means the item in question temporarily becomes yours until an accord can be reached.
This set up a us vs them situation that ALL kids, step or bio, will use to play the parents off of each other. So my suggestions are, try to spend small amounts of 1 on 1 time with each child (I know with 7 it can be really hard), maintain a united front with DH, and give all of them daily chores around the house.

your kids are not there all the time. focus on enjoying your time with them and tell your husband that he needs to make arrangements for his kids maybe once a week so you can spend some quality time w yours.
you and your husband need ot get on the same page about all the kids.


Maybe they are acting out due to the crap they have had to go through with their mother? Kids have a hard time with adjusting to two households in general (if both parents are stable, much more if there are issues at one or both houses). I would sit everyone down and set rules for the house along with chores - make a poster board for each so there is visual reminders. Reward behavior with things from the dollar store or a special dessert. The more clear cut you make things as far as rules and expectations, the easier it will be for the kids to know what is ok and what will not be rewarded. Kids like to fit in, so if they see each other trying to get approval from you and DH, they will be more likely to join the crowd even if they wouldn't have normally.

I am not surprised kids are acting out. And my guess is so are your kids but your biofilter and mommy guilt prevent you from seeing it.
When did you leave your kids? Because it sounds like you just moved into your home...
- linnclark
on Jul. 23, 2013 at 1:17 PM