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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

intro- Yours, Mine, Ours... and Hers

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:13 PM
  • 3 Replies
Hi, my name is Tina and I am 29. I have been married to my wonderful DH for about 4 months. Our situation is the thing LifeTime movies are made of. My DH and his exwife were together about 8 years. Exwife had 2 children prior to this and DH took them in as his own (though adoption was not possible because a birth father was listed on birth cert.) when they were almost 2 and almost 3. Then they had a son together (when the other kids were about 8-9 years old). Fast forward about 2 years and exwife walks out on all 3 kids, and DH was happy about this and kept on raising his family. I came into the picture about 2.5 years ago and have a boy of my own. After DH and I were dating for a little while his exwife decided she wanted to be a mom and "took" her two kids (remember DH had no legal rights to them, we checked again at this time- plus the teens were excited them mom finally wanted them). So since Sept 2011 until June 2013 they lived 3 states away with their mother. The situation was a mess- child protective services was involved the whole time, drugs, prostitution, mental hospital, the kids were taken away multiple times (but they never asked to come back to DH even when we offered, plus we were quietly communicating with CPS to let them know we were open to them coming home). Finally at the end the kids (mind you, one is a 16 year old girl the other a 15 year old boy) were living with "a state approved caregiver"- a 22 single male and his roommate!!! Anyway, exwife passed away in May due to a heart condition brought on by pregnancy/drug use/hard life. Grandmother got custody of the kids and sent them home to DH. So my whole world, and their whole world, has changed recently. They didn't want to come here, but Daddy put his foot down and they had no choice. In general the transition has been easier than I thought/hoped/imagined but I could always use some more CafeMom friends who have "been there, done that". Also, I am currently 33 weeks pregnant so our little girl will be here soon to shake up an already shakey schedule. So recap for all the people involved- I have a step daughter age 16, a stepson age 15, a stepson age 7, a bio son age 6 and a little girl on the way. Hoping to meet some great people with great advice and hopefully a sense of humor cause I tend to be kinda "lifes a bitch and then you die, so let's joke about it first" kinda girl
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:13 PM
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Replies (1-3):
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:25 PM

Well that is cool! How long have you had them so far? How come they didnt want to come back?

iSMILEheCRIES
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:46 PM
They have been home since the beginning of June, and so far things have been smooth. I really don't know why they didn't want to come home. My DH is an amazing father. I think in some ways it was the big city life (San Antonio vs rural South) and some of it was brain washing on the part of their mother. I have known DH casually for almost 15 years- I actually worked for him at his business- and remember him talking about cooking dinner, running by the grocery store after work, birthday parties, so I know its not just a "new thing". The teens have said "there is never food in the house" and "Dad never spent family time with us" but I know its just their perception. The teens also have a 3 year old little brother (their mother's kid) and they raised him while they lived with her so I think they had some loyalty to him, though that wasn't one of the reasons they listed for not wanting to return here. I really don't know though, and that's hard for me to understand and I held some "well to hell with them" feelings toward them for a long while.
Quoting baparrot2:

Well that is cool! How long have you had them so far? How come they didnt want to come back?

pepper504
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:04 AM

Well, things seem to be working, I'd just take it day by day.  That is basically all that you can do.

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