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I want to have another baby

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:19 PM
  • 16 Replies

I have a 1 year old son with my hubby and we get his two daughters every other weekend. They are 4 and 2. I want to start trying for a second baby (it may take me a while to conceive because of fertility issues). I don't want to wait too long because I'd like my kids to be close in age, but my hubby thinks it's too much right now with the girls. I see his point, and it's true that my son and my stepkids are close in age, but we only get to see them twice a month and I guess I feel a little cheated that it's preventing us from growing our own family. Maybe another baby soon would be too much for me anyway? I don't know if I'm being selfish or what. So confused.

by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:25 PM
1 mom liked this
Enjoy your child. Wait until you are both ready.
orliesmom
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:27 PM

I agree on waiting a little while as well. All our kids were at least potty trained before we had another one. I never wanted two kids in diapers at the same time

cLanief
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:29 PM
Yeah.. id wait a bit. Nothing hurts for waiting
Itsaboy99
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:34 PM

Yes, two in diapers is a handful - and 4 would be even more! (both SD's are still in diapers) I think waiting a year or two is smart, but my hubby is talking like 5 years. I think I'm feeling a little bit like my hubby is putting the s.kids before our family (i mean, they are part of our family too of course, but I mean hubby and my son) It has happened before, like when we got a puppy for our son and as soon as the girls came for their visit hubby told oldest SD that the dog was for her. I know, it's dumb, but I felt like my son got cheated, ya know?

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:51 PM

Well, if you think about it, 3 kids this close in age mean 3 almost simultaneous college funds if they all plan on going to college.  I think a 5 year wait if you're still young enough is the smart thing to do.


Quoting Itsaboy99:

Yes, two in diapers is a handful - and 4 would be even more! (both SD's are still in diapers) I think waiting a year or two is smart, but my hubby is talking like 5 years. I think I'm feeling a little bit like my hubby is putting the s.kids before our family (i mean, they are part of our family too of course, but I mean hubby and my son) It has happened before, like when we got a puppy for our son and as soon as the girls came for their visit hubby told oldest SD that the dog was for her. I know, it's dumb, but I felt like my son got cheated, ya know?



momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 12:00 AM
1 mom liked this
Well if he is not ready, you can't really force him to be ready. Maybe he isn't ready for another baby since you are just beginning the journey down the long road of toddler hood. My husband doesn't want another baby either. It makes me sad because we are just getting older and older by the day. I guess there are ways to 'force' it but that wouldn't be right or fair to him. He isn't ready. You are. I really believe the one not ready takes the cake here. Do you want him to feel resentful that there is this new baby, added expense, something he wasn't ready for? Look at it from his point of view. Is he the only one working? Is he exhausted from working all day and trying to find time for the 3 he already has?
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 12:03 AM
Your husband has three children. You are wanting him to put you before his children. You are complaining about exactly what you are doing to him. You feel like he is putting his children before your children. Maybe he thinks that you are putting your wants and needs before his children. And you are.


Quoting Itsaboy99:

Yes, two in diapers is a handful - and 4 would be even more! (both SD's are still in diapers) I think waiting a year or two is smart, but my hubby is talking like 5 years. I think I'm feeling a little bit like my hubby is putting the s.kids before our family (i mean, they are part of our family too of course, but I mean hubby and my son) It has happened before, like when we got a puppy for our son and as soon as the girls came for their visit hubby told oldest SD that the dog was for her. I know, it's dumb, but I felt like my son got cheated, ya know?


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jeniemarie
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:39 AM
if you both arnt ready wait. also think about what would happen if so how you ended up with the girls full time. could you handle that? we started off with SS eow and after we had our daughter we got pregnant again. his mother ended up loosing custody and we got him and our son the same month. so we went from 1 child full time to 3 that sure added alot of stress
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pepper504
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:04 AM
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Quoting Itsaboy99:

Yes, two in diapers is a handful - and 4 would be even more! (both SD's are still in diapers) I think waiting a year or two is smart, but my hubby is talking like 5 years. I think I'm feeling a little bit like my hubby is putting the s.kids before our family (i mean, they are part of our family too of course, but I mean hubby and my son) It has happened before, like when we got a puppy for our son and as soon as the girls came for their visit hubby told oldest SD that the dog was for her. I know, it's dumb, but I felt like my son got cheated, ya know?

I think that your hubby is being smart.   He has three kids under the age of 5 years.  Do you KNOW how expensive that is going to get with the three of them all being so close in age?  Especially when they are teenagers? 

I see nothing wrong with waiting 5 years. 

As for the dog, very petty.  So what if he told his DD4 that the puppy was for her.  She's there a couple of weekends a month, your son is a year old and is there full time. 

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:12 AM

This is an unfortunate situation, it really should have been discussed before marriage, discussing present and future children is as important as discussing finances before marriage I believe. Since you see your husband's point, try to reach some compromise, discuss what are the challenges exactly and how you plan to deal with them and purpose set a time frame that isn't to far out biologically and go from there.

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