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Should dad pay half of sons ins. if....EDIT ADDED

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:47 AM
  • 75 Replies

Just thinking out loud here,lol!

my son is in the army. He will exit the army in dec and move back home with me til he gets his feet on the ground. Now I am realistic, it's going to take a while. Son will be going to college full time and working and also doing national guard. 

I believe I can add son back on to my ins since he is under 25 and will be a full time college student. I prefer son go to college full time and focus in getting his degree, instead of worrying about working at a place that has benefits (I mean it would be nice,lol! ). Kids dad obviously stopped paying child support on son when he went into the army.

son plans on paying Internet/cable bill and half electric. 

My question: if I can add son back on my medical/dental/vision ins, should dad pay half? I know some are going to say son should pay half.... But here is reality: had son not gone into army and went to college and stayed on my ins. Then dad would've still been paying half of sons ins amount.

I believe dad also wants son to focus on college full time and not so much about a job with benefits. But I have a feeling that dad will not want to pay half of sons ins. 

*******

edit: thank you for all the replies, sorry if I didn't respond to you directly.

im glad I asked because we don't always see things from the outside as we should! 

Yes, it would be MY choice to add son to my ins, if possible. And not ex's obligation to help cover cost. Sure it would be nice, but not an obligation. 

by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:49 AM

Oh son just turned 21 if that matters. I don't want child support! Son will help,with the bills himself. 

jpuls
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:49 AM
2 moms liked this
Why doesn't he have military benifits?
ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:52 AM


Quoting jpuls:

Why doesn't he have military benifits?

I don't know how that works to be honest. I figure once he leaves the army he no longer will have insurance through them. He will be doing national guard but that is not full,time. 

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 1:02 AM

If dad wants to help out, that's great.  Not sure there is any "should" in this equation.  Just because I saved money last year by buying discount glasses, doesn't mean BF should pay me more this year for something else.  That logic doesn't work,

ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 1:10 AM


Quoting pdxmum:

If dad wants to help out, that's great.  Not sure there is any "should" in this equation.  Just because I saved money last year by buying discount glasses, doesn't mean BF should pay me more this year for something else.  That logic doesn't work,

Forgive me, I don't understand your comparison.

i will have money taken out of my pay checks for son to have insurance through my work. 

Had son gone straight to college from high school (instead of going into the army) he would've been kept on my ins and would still be on it now with a 4 year degree. 

So if I can put son back on my ins. Wouldn't his dad be responcible for half of the cost? Based on fact that dad would still being paying for half of ins had son went straight to college. 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 1:11 AM

It depends on the type of discharge.

A medical discharge would allow him to recieve medical care through a local VA hospital or VA clinic, he may also qualify for some type of monthly income benefits as well. With an honorable discharge he may still qualify for medical care through a VA hospital or clinic.

Dishonorable would make him ineligable for any benefits. 

It's definitely something to have him look into.

As far as you adding him onto your medical, no I don't think dad should HAVE to pay any portion of that. You are electing by choice to do that for your son. He's 21, and that's awesome that you want to, and CAN, help him out. But, that doesn't mean that dad is obligated to do the same. 


Quoting ROBIN-C:


Quoting jpuls:

Why doesn't he have military benifits?

I don't know how that works to be honest. I figure once he leaves the army he no longer will have insurance through them. He will be doing national guard but that is not full,time. 



ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 1:13 AM

I forgot to ask cs office when I was there recently. But I do know for a fact that if son was moving back home at age 20 and going to college full time that dad would still have to pay child support on son.

i need to go back to office and ask a bunch of questions, I will just add this to the list,lol! 

Tx_stepmom
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 1:15 AM

Before putting him on your insurance, have him check with a VA Hospital first.  The reason I say this is because my son (24yr old) was Army for 5 years and did 1 year in the National Gaurd after leaving the Army.  He has recently had some health issues (that I believe started while he was enlisted and was mis-diagnosed by Army doctors with dehydration) and he found out that he is covered 100% medically after going to the VA Hospital.  Prior to being discharged from the Army, he was told that he would have benefits for only 6 months after leaving the Army.  That was untrue.  Your son should be covered.  I think that the VA will need a copy of his DD214 to verify.  

I have great repsect for the Armed Services and anyone who serves our country.  What I have learned though after my son being in the Army, they don't know what they are doing alot of the time.  Too many chiefs and not enough indians.  The Army has done nothing but try to screw my son out of benefits and money owed to him.  He had had enough of it and that's why he decided not to re-up.  

ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 1:16 AM

His contact is up and he is simply choosing to exit the army. He wants a different career. Thank you for the information. 

Yes it is my choice to add son back on, if I can. 

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

It depends on the type of discharge.

A medical discharge would allow him to recieve medical care through a local VA hospital or VA clinic, he may also qualify for some type of monthly income benefits as well. With an honorable discharge he may still qualify for medical care through a VA hospital or clinic.

Dishonorable would make him ineligable for any benefits. 

It's definitely something to have him look into.

As far as you adding him onto your medical, no I don't think dad should HAVE to pay any portion of that. You are electing by choice to do that for your son. He's 21, and that's awesome that you want to, and CAN, help him out. But, that doesn't mean that dad is obligated to do the same. 


Quoting ROBIN-C:


Quoting jpuls:

Why doesn't he have military benifits?

I don't know how that works to be honest. I figure once he leaves the army he no longer will have insurance through them. He will be doing national guard but that is not full,time. 




ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 1:23 AM


Quoting Tx_stepmom:

Before putting him on your insurance, have him check with a VA Hospital first.  The reason I say this is because my son (24yr old) was Army for 5 years and did 1 year in the National Gaurd after leaving the Army.  He has recently had some health issues (that I believe started while he was enlisted and was mis-diagnosed by Army doctors with dehydration) and he found out that he is covered 100% medically after going to the VA Hospital.  Prior to being discharged from the Army, he was told that he would have benefits for only 6 months after leaving the Army.  That was untrue.  Your son should be covered.  I think that the VA will need a copy of his DD214 to verify.  

I have great repsect for the Armed Services and anyone who serves our country.  What I have learned though after my son being in the Army, they don't know what they are doing alot of the time.  Too many chiefs and not enough indians.  The Army has done nothing but try to screw my son out of benefits and money owed to him.  He had had enough of it and that's why he decided not to re-up.  

Thank you for telling me that! 

I don't trust the army anymore to be honest. I Do support them, but like you said everything is so complicated! 

So much we need to check into! I don't even know of VA hospitals etc around where we live... But then again I have never needed to go to one,lol! 

Son also got fed up with a lot of the bullshit! He planned on this being his lifetime career before he went in. That changed. 

No disrespect for anyone who has/is serving! 

Son just realized that he wants different things than what the army can give him. He is still very dedicated and plans to stay in national guard long term. He just wants to be around full time to raise his future kids, wants to be able to attend family events without jumping through hoops. Etc. 

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