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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Get a grip BM!!!

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:35 PM
  • 176 Replies
1 mom liked this

 

Poll

Question: Do you think there is more BM's in this group than actual SM's?

Options:

Yes

No

I think there are insecure BM's on here that love to cause drama.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 70

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Am I the only one that has realized that there are obviously a ton of BM"s in this group that shouldn't be in this group unless they are a SM's? You can usually tell who they are by their defensive comments and PRO-Birth Mother comments.  A lot of BM's are angry and bitter.  I'm not making it up, if you have looked at other posts you will notice their are a ton of posts about SM's having to deal with miserable BM's.  I don't believe it is a BM's right to be rude, uncivil and hateful just because you have children with someone and they have moved on with their life with someone else.  If a BM is truly happy and secure  in her life I can almost guarantee that she is not going to cause the SM any grief.

I have been dealing with a bitter ex-wife for the past 6 years and it wasn't until 3 months ago when she broke down crying that she was sorry for being a complete b*tch.  Of course she didn't apologize, because she was sincerely sorry.  She apologized, because we found out my SS who is 8 was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and she wanted him to be well taken care of and safe while she was at work. Yes, me being the SM of this adorable, loving boy offered to watch him on her weeks after school so his diabetes was managed properly instead of a random baby sitter.  All of a sudden I was a godsend to her.  I have always been a great SM, she just was full of anger that she never realized it.  These are the words from her own mouth.  

Why can't the BM's be happy that someone loves  and cares for their children when they are not with them? Are they that insecure in their mother role that they seriously think we are here to take their place? The children and the SM's know that we are not trying to take their place, so why  can't they just suck it up and be happy their children are being well taken care of and loved?



by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:40 PM
3 moms liked this

 there are many women here who are both. some look at thingsone way, some another. if its not useful to me i leave it, if it is i take it.

some Sm come on here and complain about BM for stupid reasons. some BM really do suck. and visa versa.

SMInProgress
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:45 PM
2 moms liked this

LOL. You're not alone.  I thought I came into the wrong group at first that I had to do a double take on the group's name, "Stepmom Central".  I'm a BM/SM but really, I was looking for a real SM group to help with my difficult SM situation.  But one thing's for sure, I won't find my daughter's SM on here because I as a BM made sure we got along :)

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:46 PM
5 moms liked this
Not all moms are blessed with a loving and caring, attentive SM for their children. Sure there are many of good women in the world. But we aren't all so blessed to have them enter in to our lives. This kind of post pops up frequently when someone doesn't get the answers they like. There are far more moms who ARE stepmoms than there are moms who are not stepmoms on this board. This is an open forum. You don't even have to be a member to comment on posts. There are plenty of private groups on CM that require you to be a stepmom that way there is no chance of getting another persons point of view from the other side of the fence. I am not a stepmom. But I'm also not who you would be referring to because I am not bitter, I don't attack 'stepmoms' just to attack or whatever we Moms are being accused of. I am here because I am in a situation where I needed another perspective. I have stuck around because I like the group and have met many friends in this group. Some people may not like me because they think I'm only a mom and have nothing of value to offer them. That's fine. They can ignore me, skip over me and not respond to me. It's their loss if someone feels I have absolutely nothing of value to offer. I am a good friend and have been a Great ally for many a woman that happens to also be a stepmom. Mom or stepmom - it doesn't have to define us.
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baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:46 PM
3 moms liked this

I am a BM and a SM. I find it weird that you view being "pro-birth mother" as a negative. Like somehow birth mothers are the evil of the two.

Even though I am both, I take my role as birth mother far more seriously than I do being a SM. So I find that remark kind of insensitive and quite telling of which kind of SM you are.

I dont hink I have ever seen one BM said that they did not wish their SM counterpart to love their stepchild. Where do find this? Can you point it out?

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:47 PM
1 mom liked this
There are only a handful of non SMs in here. The polls have been done. By far, there are more stepmoms that post regularly than there are non stepmoms.


Quoting SMInProgress:

LOL. You're not alone.  I thought I came into the wrong group at first that I had to do a double take on the group's name, Stepmom Central.  I'm a BM/SM but really, I was looking for a real SM group. 


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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:49 PM
4 moms liked this
Exactly! I would love for my daughters Sm to love her. I would sleep better at night knowing she had love for my daughter. It's hard to send your child to someone that despises the very site of your child.


Quoting baparrot2:

I am a BM and a SM. I find it weird that you view being "pro-birth mother" as a negative. Like somehow birth mothers are the evil of the two.

Even though I am both, I take my role as birth mother far more seriously than I do being a SM. So I find that remark kind of insensitive and quite telling of which kind of SM you are.

I dont hink I have ever seen one BM said that they did not wish their SM counterpart to love their stepchild. Where do find this? Can you point it out?


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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:50 PM
2 moms liked this

I often get accused of being a bitter BM based on my opinions on certain issues.

I'm not. While I am a BM, my bio-children do not have a SM, I am a SM to wonderful 13 year old girl.

I think the problem arises when SMs don't want to take any advice, they have a preconceived notion about things, and refuse to accept advice. It also doesn't help that many of the women in here are brutally honest. We don't sugar coat things. If you come in here acting a fool and blaming BM for PARENTING issues (meaning something BOTH parents are at fault for) or for blaming CHILDREN for things that have been TAUGHT to them, then yea, you're going to end up with a REALLY bad experience in here. 

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:52 PM
6 moms liked this

Snort.

momalee40
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:55 PM
I'm a bm and sm and I haven't always seen eye to eye with my son's sm but she takes care of my son . My 6 yr old ss mom is a total bitch , she refuses to try to keep any consistency on bed times or discipline saying she has no problem with HER son . My older ss mom hates me cause her son chose to live with his dad.
Shesmyworld1
by Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:55 PM
2 moms liked this

How can someone judge what kind of a SM they are by a single comment?  That's what I'm talking about.  No one knows my situation with my SS's BM.  She has been nothing but miserable until my SS got sick.  I may get along with her now for my SS's sake, but other than that I will never trust her after everything she has put our family through.  

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