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Rofl help???? Please!?!?! Edit :)

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The court order does NOT allow rofr. Dh is out of town until tomorrow afternoon for work. Bm is in one of her moods, telling me she will not let me pick up ss.


She usually doesn't have an issue with it. Only when she gets in a bad mood, is mad at Dh, or has a new bf she's trying to impress.

So what am I supposed to do?

EDIT: Dh called bm. Not sure what was said, but she called me a few minutes later acting like Mary Sunshine. So I assume he mentioned contempt... That usually does the trick.
But ss is here now, and were off to the tractor pull!! He's a big tractor fan, so were making a trip to the fair ;) .
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Replies (21-30):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 12:59 PM

 well dont wait. just go about your plans and day. its too bad he will miss out, but that lays on her shoulders.

Quoting dawnnamarie:

That's my big issue. I have a whole day of activities planned out for the kids and its my grandma's birthday.

I don't have time to wait around on bm's whims today. There's a set time in the co, and she's just literally trying to be a pain in the butt.


Quoting faerie75:

 leave him there i guess. call dad and let him deal w her. be willing to get him when/if she changes her mind

 

 
        
         

dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:01 PM
It was decided before he left. Now she's changed her mind or something and is just being difficult.

Quoting cLanief:

Leave it up to mom and dad.
dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:02 PM
It's just sad. Ss cries every time he comes back from moms because dd tells him about what he missed...

Breaks my heart.


Quoting faerie75:

 well dont wait. just go about your plans and day. its too bad he will miss out, but that lays on her shoulders.


Quoting dawnnamarie:

That's my big issue. I have a whole day of activities planned out for the kids and its my grandma's birthday.

I don't have time to wait around on bm's whims today. There's a set time in the co, and she's just literally trying to be a pain in the butt.



Quoting faerie75:


 leave him there i guess. call dad and let him deal w her. be willing to get him when/if she changes her mind


 

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:12 PM
1 mom liked this
How old are they both? This is just a new reality for him that he has a stepsister who gets to do things with his SM when he isnt there. That should be your focus - helping them navigate stepworld and two homes.

Dont feed the conflict by trying to force BM to hand him over. And stop texting her asking for the time when you already know she is not turning him over.

And dont ruin your DDs day because of BM.


Quoting dawnnamarie:

It's just sad. Ss cries every time he comes back from moms because dd tells him about what he missed...



Breaks my heart.




Quoting faerie75:

 well dont wait. just go about your plans and day. its too bad he will miss out, but that lays on her shoulders.



Quoting dawnnamarie:

That's my big issue. I have a whole day of activities planned out for the kids and its my grandma's birthday.

I don't have time to wait around on bm's whims today. There's a set time in the co, and she's just literally trying to be a pain in the butt.




Quoting faerie75:



 leave him there i guess. call dad and let him deal w her. be willing to get him when/if she changes her mind



 


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Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:14 PM

I would just document it and let it go until your DH can deal with it.

dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:08 PM
Nope. If it gets ugly enough that I need them, then ill just document the issue and avoid her.

Quoting ChelseNichole:

Is that something you would think about doing? Going with the police? If so, I would just make sure that you have the CO handy and you're ID etc. That way there is no confusion.

Quoting dawnnamarie:

It will be a verbal assault by her if I just show up.... Dh asked me to bring the police with me. Lol



Quoting ChelseNichole:

Have you DH call her and try to talk to her about it.

However, if you CO does not allow for ROFR and it doesnt have stipulations regarding who can pick up...then I would just go get him.


dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:10 PM
Ya ready for the annoying part??
Bm just answered Dh and said she's at work and ss is with bm's sm!!!!!! Wtf?! Hypocritical much?? Grrrr


Quoting DDDaysh:

It doesn't matter.  Dad is on the other side of the country so he can't go over there with CO in hand.  You're not going to be able to actually force her to give him over, so all you can do is document it.  Why even keep fighting about it today?  Who cares if the child is "home" or "with Mom" for one more day?  

Quoting dawnnamarie:

The main part is that our house is "home." And the co is written to allow as much time for the child to be home as possible. Even when dad isn't home



Quoting DDDaysh:

That would just invite a confrontation.  Since she's not the parent, she's not going to be able to force BM to hand the child over.  

At this point, the only thing to do is document it in case he wants to go for contempt at some point in time (though it's unlikely she'd get more than a slap on the wrist since BF wasn't home anyway), and let your DH get him when he gets home.  

Quoting ChelseNichole:

Have you DH call her and try to talk to her about it.

However, if you CO does not allow for ROFR and it doesnt have stipulations regarding who can pick up...then I would just go get him.



dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:17 PM
He's almost 5 and she's 3 1/2. We try to explain it... But it's almost impossible. :(

Ss doesn't get to go places while he's at bm's. he basically watches tv the whole time he's there. I'm an active person. I like taking dd to the park, zoo, museums, fairs... Whatever I can think of.
So he really does miss a lot. But he's too young to get it. We tried to tell him he got to do fun things with his mommy while he's visiting her, and he starts crying because he doesn't...


Quoting pdxmum:

How old are they both? This is just a new reality for him that he has a stepsister who gets to do things with his SM when he isnt there. That should be your focus - helping them navigate stepworld and two homes.



Dont feed the conflict by trying to force BM to hand him over. And stop texting her asking for the time when you already know she is not turning him over.



And dont ruin your DDs day because of BM.




Quoting dawnnamarie:

It's just sad. Ss cries every time he comes back from moms because dd tells him about what he missed...





Breaks my heart.






Quoting faerie75:

 well dont wait. just go about your plans and day. its too bad he will miss out, but that lays on her shoulders.




Quoting dawnnamarie:

That's my big issue. I have a whole day of activities planned out for the kids and its my grandma's birthday.

I don't have time to wait around on bm's whims today. There's a set time in the co, and she's just literally trying to be a pain in the butt.





Quoting faerie75:




 leave him there i guess. call dad and let him deal w her. be willing to get him when/if she changes her mind




 


dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:18 PM
It will be documented

Quoting Polkadotted:

I would just document it and let it go until your DH can deal with it.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:31 PM
1 mom liked this

Yea, I say document it, and let her dig her hole. Sometimes that's all you can do. DH can have words with her later if necessary. Sorry you're in a crappy situation with BM.

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