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Rofl help???? Please!?!?! Edit :)

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The court order does NOT allow rofr. Dh is out of town until tomorrow afternoon for work. Bm is in one of her moods, telling me she will not let me pick up ss.


She usually doesn't have an issue with it. Only when she gets in a bad mood, is mad at Dh, or has a new bf she's trying to impress.

So what am I supposed to do?

EDIT: Dh called bm. Not sure what was said, but she called me a few minutes later acting like Mary Sunshine. So I assume he mentioned contempt... That usually does the trick.
But ss is here now, and were off to the tractor pull!! He's a big tractor fan, so were making a trip to the fair ;) .
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Replies (31-40):
soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:43 PM
1 mom liked this

So either way the kid will be with child care the difference is she will be home today after work and your dh will not. Leave the kid with the mother.

dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:56 PM
Dh just had some words with her... I didn't get details but she called me 5 minutes after he talked to me acting like there wasn't a problem at all.

Lol.... He probably brought up "contempt". That's usually the word that makes her cooperate.


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Yea, I say document it, and let her dig her hole. Sometimes that's all you can do. DH can have words with her later if necessary. Sorry you're in a crappy situation with BM.

dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:58 PM
I'm on my way to get him now... Dh talked to her, and she called right after.

She doesn't like to take him on weekends or extra time anyway. She just said I couldn't pick him up at the regular time and it would be at her convenience... Which usually is her way of trying to have control over my time and our household.


Quoting soonergirl980:

So either way the kid will be with child care the difference is she will be home today after work and your dh will not. Leave the kid with the mother.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:59 PM

I'm glad it all worked out. She's definitely a piece of work. I think she may be a twin of my SD's BM.


Quoting dawnnamarie:

Dh just had some words with her... I didn't get details but she called me 5 minutes after he talked to me acting like there wasn't a problem at all.

Lol.... He probably brought up "contempt". That's usually the word that makes her cooperate.


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Yea, I say document it, and let her dig her hole. Sometimes that's all you can do. DH can have words with her later if necessary. Sorry you're in a crappy situation with BM.



pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:16 PM
Stop trying to convince him about anything at BMs. He knows if he is bored, you telling him otherwise just makes him question his reality.

This is going to an issue for years, i suggest finding a better solution now. You do not have an intact family. You will do things with your DD (simply because she does not see her BF - right?) That you wont do with SS.

Just be matter of fact and unemotional.

Boardinga plane. Bye!


Quoting dawnnamarie:

He's almost 5 and she's 3 1/2. We try to explain it... But it's almost impossible. :(



Ss doesn't get to go places while he's at bm's. he basically watches tv the whole time he's there. I'm an active person. I like taking dd to the park, zoo, museums, fairs... Whatever I can think of.

So he really does miss a lot. But he's too young to get it. We tried to tell him he got to do fun things with his mommy while he's visiting her, and he starts crying because he doesn't...




Quoting pdxmum:

How old are they both? This is just a new reality for him that he has a stepsister who gets to do things with his SM when he isnt there. That should be your focus - helping them navigate stepworld and two homes.





Dont feed the conflict by trying to force BM to hand him over. And stop texting her asking for the time when you already know she is not turning him over.





And dont ruin your DDs day because of BM.






Quoting dawnnamarie:

It's just sad. Ss cries every time he comes back from moms because dd tells him about what he missed...







Breaks my heart.








Quoting faerie75:

 well dont wait. just go about your plans and day. its too bad he will miss out, but that lays on her shoulders.





Quoting dawnnamarie:

That's my big issue. I have a whole day of activities planned out for the kids and its my grandma's birthday.

I don't have time to wait around on bm's whims today. There's a set time in the co, and she's just literally trying to be a pain in the butt.






Quoting faerie75:





 leave him there i guess. call dad and let him deal w her. be willing to get him when/if she changes her mind





 



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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:31 PM

Completely agree with this.

We've started sending SD with activities to do at BM's house (she packs clothes, hygiene stuff, and everything else she needs). So, we hit up Target, Walmart, or the dollar store and  get cheap arts and crafts kits for her. She also brings books, colors/markers and pictures, and anything else like that that SD can do on her own.

Quoting pdxmum:

Stop trying to convince him about anything at BMs. He knows if he is bored, you telling him otherwise just makes him question his reality.

This is going to an issue for years, i suggest finding a better solution now. You do not have an intact family. You will do things with your DD (simply because she does not see her BF - right?) That you wont do with SS.

Just be matter of fact and unemotional.

Boardinga plane. Bye!


Quoting dawnnamarie:

He's almost 5 and she's 3 1/2. We try to explain it... But it's almost impossible. :(



Ss doesn't get to go places while he's at bm's. he basically watches tv the whole time he's there. I'm an active person. I like taking dd to the park, zoo, museums, fairs... Whatever I can think of.

So he really does miss a lot. But he's too young to get it. We tried to tell him he got to do fun things with his mommy while he's visiting her, and he starts crying because he doesn't...




Quoting pdxmum:

How old are they both? This is just a new reality for him that he has a stepsister who gets to do things with his SM when he isnt there. That should be your focus - helping them navigate stepworld and two homes.





Dont feed the conflict by trying to force BM to hand him over. And stop texting her asking for the time when you already know she is not turning him over.





And dont ruin your DDs day because of BM.






Quoting dawnnamarie:

It's just sad. Ss cries every time he comes back from moms because dd tells him about what he missed...







Breaks my heart.








Quoting faerie75:

 well dont wait. just go about your plans and day. its too bad he will miss out, but that lays on her shoulders.





Quoting dawnnamarie:

That's my big issue. I have a whole day of activities planned out for the kids and its my grandma's birthday.

I don't have time to wait around on bm's whims today. There's a set time in the co, and she's just literally trying to be a pain in the butt.






Quoting faerie75:





 leave him there i guess. call dad and let him deal w her. be willing to get him when/if she changes her mind





 





dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:50 PM
Yeah. It's just insane. She flips emotions so quickly. She was causing a stink.... And then I get there to pick up ss right as she's getting home and she's all nice and acting like nothing happened...

Seriously! I can't keep up with the emotions


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

I'm glad it all worked out. She's definitely a piece of work. I think she may be a twin of my SD's BM.



Quoting dawnnamarie:

Dh just had some words with her... I didn't get details but she called me 5 minutes after he talked to me acting like there wasn't a problem at all.



Lol.... He probably brought up "contempt". That's usually the word that makes her cooperate.




Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Yea, I say document it, and let her dig her hole. Sometimes that's all you can do. DH can have words with her later if necessary. Sorry you're in a crappy situation with BM.




dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:54 PM
Correct that dd doesn't see bf.

I guess we thought we were helping him by trying to convince him it wasn't so bad. They're just in a weird in between age right now. Both kids are starting to figure things out, but they don't fully understand yet.

And I am guilty of trying to make sure to plan big activities and trips around when both kids are home... =/

Hope you have a safe flight! And enjoy your trip.


Quoting pdxmum:

Stop trying to convince him about anything at BMs. He knows if he is bored, you telling him otherwise just makes him question his reality.



This is going to an issue for years, i suggest finding a better solution now. You do not have an intact family. You will do things with your DD (simply because she does not see her BF - right?) That you wont do with SS.



Just be matter of fact and unemotional.



Boardinga plane. Bye!




Quoting dawnnamarie:

He's almost 5 and she's 3 1/2. We try to explain it... But it's almost impossible. :(





Ss doesn't get to go places while he's at bm's. he basically watches tv the whole time he's there. I'm an active person. I like taking dd to the park, zoo, museums, fairs... Whatever I can think of.


So he really does miss a lot. But he's too young to get it. We tried to tell him he got to do fun things with his mommy while he's visiting her, and he starts crying because he doesn't...






Quoting pdxmum:

How old are they both? This is just a new reality for him that he has a stepsister who gets to do things with his SM when he isnt there. That should be your focus - helping them navigate stepworld and two homes.







Dont feed the conflict by trying to force BM to hand him over. And stop texting her asking for the time when you already know she is not turning him over.







And dont ruin your DDs day because of BM.








Quoting dawnnamarie:

It's just sad. Ss cries every time he comes back from moms because dd tells him about what he missed...









Breaks my heart.










Quoting faerie75:

 well dont wait. just go about your plans and day. its too bad he will miss out, but that lays on her shoulders.






Quoting dawnnamarie:

That's my big issue. I have a whole day of activities planned out for the kids and its my grandma's birthday.

I don't have time to wait around on bm's whims today. There's a set time in the co, and she's just literally trying to be a pain in the butt.







Quoting faerie75:






 leave him there i guess. call dad and let him deal w her. be willing to get him when/if she changes her mind






 



dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:57 PM
Does it seem to work well? Does bm get insulted that you're sending those things for sd?

I love the idea. Ss mentioned he doesn't even have crayons at moms... its not about trying to prove we're better than bm or something. The child will figure out on his own why he doesn't get the same things at both houses.


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Completely agree with this.

We've started sending SD with activities to do at BM's house (she packs clothes, hygiene stuff, and everything else she needs). So, we hit up Target, Walmart, or the dollar store and  get cheap arts and crafts kits for her. She also brings books, colors/markers and pictures, and anything else like that that SD can do on her own.


Quoting pdxmum:

Stop trying to convince him about anything at BMs. He knows if he is bored, you telling him otherwise just makes him question his reality.



This is going to an issue for years, i suggest finding a better solution now. You do not have an intact family. You will do things with your DD (simply because she does not see her BF - right?) That you wont do with SS.



Just be matter of fact and unemotional.



Boardinga plane. Bye!





Quoting dawnnamarie:

He's almost 5 and she's 3 1/2. We try to explain it... But it's almost impossible. :(





Ss doesn't get to go places while he's at bm's. he basically watches tv the whole time he's there. I'm an active person. I like taking dd to the park, zoo, museums, fairs... Whatever I can think of.


So he really does miss a lot. But he's too young to get it. We tried to tell him he got to do fun things with his mommy while he's visiting her, and he starts crying because he doesn't...






Quoting pdxmum:

How old are they both? This is just a new reality for him that he has a stepsister who gets to do things with his SM when he isnt there. That should be your focus - helping them navigate stepworld and two homes.







Dont feed the conflict by trying to force BM to hand him over. And stop texting her asking for the time when you already know she is not turning him over.







And dont ruin your DDs day because of BM.









Quoting dawnnamarie:

It's just sad. Ss cries every time he comes back from moms because dd tells him about what he missed...









Breaks my heart.










Quoting faerie75:

 well dont wait. just go about your plans and day. its too bad he will miss out, but that lays on her shoulders.






Quoting dawnnamarie:

That's my big issue. I have a whole day of activities planned out for the kids and its my grandma's birthday.

I don't have time to wait around on bm's whims today. There's a set time in the co, and she's just literally trying to be a pain in the butt.







Quoting faerie75:






 leave him there i guess. call dad and let him deal w her. be willing to get him when/if she changes her mind






 








jlg12678
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:58 PM

Eh, let her keep her and enjoy the peace and quiet.

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