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Not surprised, but I'm putting my foot down

Posted by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:21 PM
  • 244 Replies
2 moms liked this
So sd when with her mom for a month for summer vacation, even though the order said 2 weeks. Anyway, before she left I took her to the doctor to get her physical for cheer leading. She lost 15 lbs in the time she was with us. She was over weigh and border line obese. When she returned she gained back 12 of the 15 pounds and most of what I had bought her now does not fit..... How do you put on that much weight in a month? It took her almost 10 months to lose it. Smh, on top of it we found out Bm gave the court the wrong address and info for her employer and that's why we haven't been getting any support. I told DH that since she doesn't want to pay support and she told sd she was fine with the 15 lbs, she can buy her clothes for school. I'm not cutting corners with my kids again because she wants to spend her money for herself. This is bs and I'm done with her and her antics. Her child her problem. I also stopped allowing my son to miss his guitar lessons because we don't have enough for them both to go. I have an obligation to my children and I'm not straying from that because if anyone.
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:39 PM
5 moms liked this

 i wouldnt stray from my obligation to my own kids either.

Tpayne2011
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:43 PM
I feel that if I do stray, I'm just as bad as her


Quoting faerie75:

 i wouldnt stray from my obligation to my own kids either.


DDDaysh
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:51 PM

So what clothes is she wearing now?  

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:54 PM

Why isn't her BF paying for her clothing and cheer and all?  Why is this falling to you to pay for it? 

Take care of your kids, let DH take care of his. 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:55 PM
2 moms liked this

Have your DH call CS enforcement and get them to go after her. We're in the middle of this with SD's BM. She's refusing to pay a dime, and they've threatened to suspend her license.

If BM has a regular job (she's not paid under the table) they can search her social security number and find out her employer by looking at IRS records from her social security number. CSE can garnish her wages that way.

If that doesn't work, he's gotta stay on them, but they'll threaten to put her in jail, and can't freeze any bank accounts she's on, and they can take her property (cars, other vehicles, homes, etc) and auction them and give the money to your DH.

He just has to be annoying about getting the CS payments. 

HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:55 PM
1 mom liked this
SD gained between 9-15 lbs each if the lady four visits with BM. We had to just keep vilifying clothes. We learned a few things. First, never buy clothes right before a visit and,second, don't spend a lot on them because she will 'outgrow' them after her next visit in four months.

The ONLY thing you can do to affect a change is to teach good eating choices and portion control to SD. There is nothing you can do about BM's behavior.
Tpayne2011
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:57 PM
We did pay for cheer, and we bought her a ton of new clothes because Bm sent her with none. She claimed that she wore uniforms to school so she didn't need a lot of clothing.... She came with underwear and under shirts. Problem is my kids are Dh's kids.


Quoting jules2boys:

Why isn't her BF paying for her clothing and cheer and all?  Why is this falling to you to pay for it? 

Take care of your kids, let DH take care of his. 


Tpayne2011
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:00 PM
She has the stuff I bought for the summer, but some of it doesn't fit and it's school shopping time. Last year I had to focus on getting her stuff and my kids, especially the littlest one had to do without for a bit.


Quoting DDDaysh:

So what clothes is she wearing now?  


DDDaysh
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Then DH should take care of all of his kids equally.  I don't get CS for my son right now, but I still provide him clothing.  As CP, you really can't let the kid go without clothes just because you aren't getting CS.  

And CSE ought to be able to find out her employer via a SSN search if she's employed at a regular job.  

Quoting Tpayne2011:

We did pay for cheer, and we bought her a ton of new clothes because Bm sent her with none. She claimed that she wore uniforms to school so she didn't need a lot of clothing.... She came with underwear and under shirts. Problem is my kids are Dh's kids.


Quoting jules2boys:

Why isn't her BF paying for her clothing and cheer and all?  Why is this falling to you to pay for it? 

Take care of your kids, let DH take care of his. 



Tpayne2011
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:01 PM
Smh, what a headache I wish you guys luck.


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Have your DH call CS enforcement and get them to go after her. We're in the middle of this with SD's BM. She's refusing to pay a dime, and they've threatened to suspend her license.

If BM has a regular job (she's not paid under the table) they can search her social security number and find out her employer by looking at IRS records from her social security number. CSE can garnish her wages that way.

If that doesn't work, he's gotta stay on them, but they'll threaten to put her in jail, and can't freeze any bank accounts she's on, and they can take her property (cars, other vehicles, homes, etc) and auction them and give the money to your DH.

He just has to be annoying about getting the CS payments. 


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