Sometimes i just want to turn it off. My ability and want and need to care for SD like i do. During the summer DH gets her on his days off according to his schedule, which this year they agreed to three days this time four days the next regardless of the fact that Dh is supposed to get SD half of the summer he always compromises with BM so as not to have to deal with her attitude. But i absolutely despise the way she always acts like SD is only her child and she "lets" DH have her when he does. As if parent time guideline plays no role in this she has nonchalantly threatened to take away his weekly overnights despite their agreement in the past which he has record of. When this happens he has to reenforce that she cant do that but refuses to take her back to court for anything because our state favors the mother regardless of the type of person she is. BM gets way more on child support currently than she is supposed to be getting do to the fact that when they divorced she was unemployed. Child support is still set up this way today even tho its been over three years and she has work the whole time and recieved a promotion. But BM is the type of person that if he had it changed she would quickly drop to part time or quit her job just to switch it back the next year so whats the point. During the school year she will go get her hair done, eat out every for almost every meal every day, etc. while dressing SD in stained up, holey raggedy clothing that is either too small or too big, never proper fit. She will go weeks on end without adding money to SD's lunch account which we have record of reaching the negatives in hundreds. She is a hoarder, and I mean filthy hoarder. I've only been in their home once and she won't let me near it anymore. It smells, there are things everywhere, and last year you couldnt see SD's floor of her room. The piles of junk were so high SD slept on the couch the majority of the school year. Last week she told us she can sleep in her bed, which is in a larger room since her sister moved out, but that she has to walk on all of her things to get to it because she has no where to store anything. I can only imagine what it looks like now. But all of this boils down to how she is 100% loyal to mom as if she could do no wrong. Her mom will call her cell (which we got her for her 10th birthday in hopes that DH could reach her more) numerous times and SD will not miss a night of talking to mom when she is with us. But when she goes home to BM, DH is lucky if he hears from her once a week at times. This irritates me to no end, but DH says nothing to SD or to me about how it frustrates him, when I know that it does. Just don't know how to cope anymore when BM is such a nasty person and so controlling that she has to attempt to insert herself into our everyday lives including calling a hundred times until she reaches SD. ( sidenote: SD is only allowed to call her mom, dad, step dad, and I currently until she can be responsible. I could care less whether she calls me, but it bothers me when DH trys so hard to be a good daddy and all we hear about when SD is here is mom, and mom, and step dad, and mom. I'm just so fed up. Any advice, comments, relief? Anyone else been through this?