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Wished no kids

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:24 AM
  • 32 Replies

I know I am going to get a lot of s**t for this post.  But I want to ask a question and don't expect completely truthful responses to it.  But here it goes.  When I had my first child, I didn't really want to have him. I wanted an abortion. But people who were in my close circle convinced me to have my child.  They said once my child is here I will never regret my choice.  And to be quite honest I don't. I love my son and I would kill anyone who threatens him.  However, I don't think I made my choice based on these other peoples opinions.  I think I made my choice because deep down inside it is what I truly wanted even though  the repercussions suck. That is not even a true statement.  Some of the repercussion suck.  That being said, I still feel I was forced into having a child I really did not want.  

This will never happen again.  My question to all of you is without having some super mom judgments shoved down your throat, would you have given birth when you did?  Have you ever had a chance to say I wish I did not do what I did?  And since this is an  Internet name no one will ever know it was you.  Someone said to me once my child is born I will never regret the things I could not do from now on.  But to be quite honest there are some things I wish I could do and I can't now because I am a parent. I am not saying I regret my choice, but I still have some dreams that will never come true.  Here is your invitation to anonymous say a dream that will never come true.  

by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:30 AM

I don't regret any of my children. I was young when DS was born, I guess technically I was young with all of them. With YDD, I thought about an abortion at first, but I couldn't ever do that. MDD was 8 months old when we found out we were expecting YDD. It wasn't a good time, but now YDD is 5, and I couldn't imagine our lives any other way.

amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:32 AM
There's nothing I want to do but can't because I'm a parent. I want finish my degree..which will be harder now. But not impossible.

Sometimes I wish I had waited a little bit simply because we rushed things. We were really young, naive, and impatient. But I am happy with my life.
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:39 AM
1 mom liked this

So you don't regret your choice but you do regret your choice? And you want to know who else feels the same way?

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:46 AM

But you have two kids and you are currently pregnant by accident by the father of your second child who you are married to but he doesn't pay CS on your SS and is $11,000 in arrears...

You say you didn't know about his deadbeat tendencies when you first got pregnant but you did know with this pregnancy.  So why are you having another baby?  All this soul searching about lost dreams and it never happening again...

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I have obviously gotta start remembering screen names...

Yea, this changes things.

OP, I think the problem isn't WHEN you had your children, but WHO you had them with.


Quoting pdxmum:

But you have two kids and you are currently pregnant by accident by the father of your second child who you are married to but he doesn't pay CS on your SS and is $11,000 in arrears...

You say you didn't know about his deadbeat tendencies when you first got pregnant but you did know with this pregnancy.  So why are you having another baby?  All this soul searching about lost dreams and it never happening again...



momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 3:34 AM
1 mom liked this
Hmmmm. To answer your question, yes I considered abortion with my youngest child. That is no secret. I was raped. I went in to the clinic. I waited my however long it was. They took me back, I had a sonogram, with out even reconsidering I walked out of there and never looked back.

I can't think of anything that I want to do today that I can't because of my kids. But there was a short time in my life where I realized, I've never been to a bar. So I went to some bars and experienced that life for a very short period of time. I remained responsible. I only went on my weekends off. I always made sure I only drank what I could hold. (Well there was that once....) and I had some fun. Blew off some steam and experienced that life I had never experienced.

I don't think you should be judged for how you feel but I do think that you should use birth control and stop having more children. Embrace the ones you have, take care of yourself physically and mentally. And enjoy these years because they go so quickly. If you are young then you will still have plenty of time to experience life's fun once they are grown. That is what I am looking forward to. When my kids are grown I will be young enough to travel the world. And I plan on it. I have lots of plans. Just waiting for these babies to grow up. Then it will be my turn again.
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LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Jul. 28, 2013 at 7:14 AM

As far as my off spring go, I regret nothing.  I adore them.

soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 7:22 AM

I never regretted  my choice. There is nothing in my life I can't do because I'm a mom. The thought of abortion never even entered my mind there is no way I would have done that.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 7:30 AM
2 moms liked this

No, when I had my kids, I wanted them desparately, checked my basal temperature every morning, read books about pregnancy, got pregnant on purpose, and it was a dream come true.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:19 AM

Most people who actually PLAN their pregnancies, do NOT feel this way. Get the fuck on some BC fro cryingoutloud!

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