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I know I am going to get a lot of s**t for this post.  But I want to ask a question and don't expect completely truthful responses to it.  But here it goes.  When I had my first child, I didn't really want to have him. I wanted an abortion. But people who were in my close circle convinced me to have my child.  They said once my child is here I will never regret my choice.  And to be quite honest I don't. I love my son and I would kill anyone who threatens him.  However, I don't think I made my choice based on these other peoples opinions.  I think I made my choice because deep down inside it is what I truly wanted even though  the repercussions suck. That is not even a true statement.  Some of the repercussion suck.  That being said, I still feel I was forced into having a child I really did not want.  

This will never happen again.  My question to all of you is without having some super mom judgments shoved down your throat, would you have given birth when you did?  Have you ever had a chance to say I wish I did not do what I did?  And since this is an  Internet name no one will ever know it was you.  Someone said to me once my child is born I will never regret the things I could not do from now on.  But to be quite honest there are some things I wish I could do and I can't now because I am a parent. I am not saying I regret my choice, but I still have some dreams that will never come true.  Here is your invitation to anonymous say a dream that will never come true.  

by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:24 AM
Replies (11-20):
JulietAngel89
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:23 AM

When I fell pregnant with my first child I was scared and I cried a lot. but i never even thought of abortion. I dont know why, It just didnt seem like an option for me. 

Chibi_Kitten
by Krystal on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:44 AM

 I was the only one who wanted my first child, everyone else kept telling me to get an abortion or give it up for adoption. Why? Because I was 18yo and too young to be a mom. Once my son was born, everyone quickly changed their minds and the older he gets, the more everyone seems to love him. In fact, if you ask anyone who once encouraged me to abort him, they'll ask you what you're talking about because they never even hinted at such a thing.

I'm glad that my having a child is my choice.

momof2cuteboys
by Silver Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:09 AM

Nope but for the most part all three of my children were planned.  Well my second wasn't.  My DH had testicular cancer so we thought we would never have children together.  It was a year after he finished chemo that we got pregnant.  So it wasn't like shit ... it was a OMG you can get me pregnant moment. LOL

But I was 26 when I started having babies.  I had fun up to that point and felt like it was the right decision for me.  There have been times when the kids were really little and I couldn't do certain things that I felt ...hmmm resentful... but that resent was because I was seeing my DH do things and I was stuck at home.  That all changed when I opened up to him.  Life is so much better now.  And the kids are finally getting older so we can do more fun things with them and without them.

....ClvrScn.
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 12:23 PM
2 moms liked this
Yes I did.. I considered both abortion and adoption with me son. I was 17 when I had him. In the end I decided to have my child. When he was about 6 months old I was so tired, so sick, he was so sick all the time, I was working two dead end jobs, living with my parents and trying to protect me son from his abusive father. It was about 3 am and he was up once again and I had to be at work in 3 hours. I had had 1 hour of sleep in the past 30+ hours. For a moment.. Maybe 5 I questioned why I hadn't put him up for adoption. When I was 20 and starting to date again I was in college full time working full time and dedicating all of my free time to my son , I questioned it again. I questioned whether I was good enough for him, if I deserved this precious child, I just wanted to have fun. What type of mother wants to have fun over having another story time at the library. When he was diagnosed with his special needs I questioned if I was strong enough, good enough and dedicated enough to be his mom. .. The answer each time is I am the best mom for him because I am the only mom he is ever gonna get. I love him like I have never loved any person ever. I protect him like I have never protected anyone ever. I am passionate and dedicated and its my job to raise him. So no I don't regret my son, but sometimes I question if I am good enough for him
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GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:18 PM
3 moms liked this
OP if you are resentful of your kids because you can't do what you want to do why are you pregnant AGAIN?!

B. I. R. T. H. C. O. N. T. R. O. L.

What's that spell sweetie? That's right! Birth control. Take a pill, everyday or go get a shot every 90 days. Or if you have issues remembering there are implants that work for 5 years. Better yet, if that's too much for ya, since I am sure you are on state aid since not being able to do anything for yourself is the issue. That implies you are broke as a joke. Get your tubes tied, I would rather my tax dollars go to spaying your ass than you to keep churning out babies you don't want.

If you don't want to go with those options and want to be resentment free, put your kids up for adoption, including the one incubating inside your uterus right now, then stay the hell off your back. We all know what happens when we have unprotected intercourse.

Hell, I don't want no mo babies, I got my tubes tied. I am full aware that every time I have sex with my husband that if my tubal fails in some way I could get pregnant. Well....if I do I can take care of a baby. Baby would be wanted and loved and NOT resented for happening and keeping me from things I want. If I so badly never want another child I need to use back up birth control or stay off my back and off his lap.

Seek therapy please. You need it, your kids need you to get it too.
SMInProgress
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:05 PM

I just couldn't "like" your post.  I have to tell you, I love your post.

Quoting ....ClvrScn.:

Yes I did.. I considered both abortion and adoption with me son. I was 17 when I had him. In the end I decided to have my child. When he was about 6 months old I was so tired, so sick, he was so sick all the time, I was working two dead end jobs, living with my parents and trying to protect me son from his abusive father. It was about 3 am and he was up once again and I had to be at work in 3 hours. I had had 1 hour of sleep in the past 30+ hours. For a moment.. Maybe 5 I questioned why I hadn't put him up for adoption. When I was 20 and starting to date again I was in college full time working full time and dedicating all of my free time to my son , I questioned it again. I questioned whether I was good enough for him, if I deserved this precious child, I just wanted to have fun. What type of mother wants to have fun over having another story time at the library. When he was diagnosed with his special needs I questioned if I was strong enough, good enough and dedicated enough to be his mom. .. The answer each time is I am the best mom for him because I am the only mom he is ever gonna get. I love him like I have never loved any person ever. I protect him like I have never protected anyone ever. I am passionate and dedicated and its my job to raise him. So no I don't regret my son, but sometimes I question if I am good enough for him


....ClvrScn.
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:22 PM
Lol well thank you


Quoting SMInProgress:

I just couldn't "like" your post.  I have to tell you, I love your post.

Quoting ....ClvrScn.:

Yes I did.. I considered both abortion and adoption with me son. I was 17 when I had him. In the end I decided to have my child. When he was about 6 months old I was so tired, so sick, he was so sick all the time, I was working two dead end jobs, living with my parents and trying to protect me son from his abusive father. It was about 3 am and he was up once again and I had to be at work in 3 hours. I had had 1 hour of sleep in the past 30+ hours. For a moment.. Maybe 5 I questioned why I hadn't put him up for adoption. When I was 20 and starting to date again I was in college full time working full time and dedicating all of my free time to my son , I questioned it again. I questioned whether I was good enough for him, if I deserved this precious child, I just wanted to have fun. What type of mother wants to have fun over having another story time at the library. When he was diagnosed with his special needs I questioned if I was strong enough, good enough and dedicated enough to be his mom. .. The answer each time is I am the best mom for him because I am the only mom he is ever gonna get. I love him like I have never loved any person ever. I protect him like I have never protected anyone ever. I am passionate and dedicated and its my job to raise him. So no I don't regret my son, but sometimes I question if I am good enough for him



DDDaysh
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:56 PM

 Never for a second have I regretted DS.  I wanted him with all my heart. 

I have sometimes regretted the circumstances I brought him into.  He was "planned", but that doesn't mean I was all that smart about it.  Because of that, his life is harder in alot of ways that the life of a child I might have had if I had been more patient, more mature, had chosen a better father, etc. 

But....  then that child wouldn't have been DS.  And that's what it always spirals back to.  I only had one shot to get THIS child, and I love having THIS son, so I would never ever undo it. 

pepper504
by Platinum Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 4:40 PM

DD16 was an oppsie.  Or as I call it a "Surprise."  She was not planned.  I wouldn't change a damn thing.  She is my heart/soul.  My life would be so incomplete without her in it. 

You, my dear, made your choice based on those other people's opinions.  Had you not, you would not feel forced into having a child that you really didn't want.

Also, dreams do not die, they get put on the back burner for a while. It happens when you have a child.  You can pick up that dream at any moment in time and pursue it. 

pepper504
by Platinum Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 4:41 PM


Quoting GlockMom:

OP if you are resentful of your kids because you can't do what you want to do why are you pregnant AGAIN?!

B. I. R. T. H. C. O. N. T. R. O. L.

What's that spell sweetie? That's right! Birth control. Take a pill, everyday or go get a shot every 90 days. Or if you have issues remembering there are implants that work for 5 years. Better yet, if that's too much for ya, since I am sure you are on state aid since not being able to do anything for yourself is the issue. That implies you are broke as a joke. Get your tubes tied, I would rather my tax dollars go to spaying your ass than you to keep churning out babies you don't want.

If you don't want to go with those options and want to be resentment free, put your kids up for adoption, including the one incubating inside your uterus right now, then stay the hell off your back. We all know what happens when we have unprotected intercourse.

Hell, I don't want no mo babies, I got my tubes tied. I am full aware that every time I have sex with my husband that if my tubal fails in some way I could get pregnant. Well....if I do I can take care of a baby. Baby would be wanted and loved and NOT resented for happening and keeping me from things I want. If I so badly never want another child I need to use back up birth control or stay off my back and off his lap.

Seek therapy please. You need it, your kids need you to get it too.

Oh snap, Glock! 

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