Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Ex's living arrangement

Posted by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 2:48 AM
  • 23 Replies

Sorry I keep asking so many questions.... My life has gotten turned upside down recently and I am just trying to process it.

so my ex is living at a hotel. He use to live with his mom til Father's Day when she finally got fed up with his drinking and stupid choices. 

Obviously living at a hotel isn't cheap! The thing is he applied for an apartment and got denied due to his child endangerment charge. He was drunk with our daughter in his care. I don't think he has applied anywhere else.

so with this living arrangement of his I'm wondering how that would affect CS. I understand he needs a cost of living allotment, but his 'rent' is much higher than an apartment would be. IMO he CHOSE to live there by breaking the rules at his moms house and getting kicked out. It's his fault he has a child endangerment charge and got turned down for a apartment. I did find a cheap place for him but he refuses to apply for it stating that place is ghetto and he isn't ghetto. 

So I wonder if he can get CS reduced due to the cost of living in a hotel?

This is the reason he tells me he can't pay CS right now. As if I should feel sorry for him since his drinking is why I kicked him out years ago. I am going to go file for CS to be garnished and I know he is then going to try to get it modified based on his 'rent' . He is paying $820/mo, apartments here are much cheaper than that! 

Oh and he can't afford child support yet he could afford to give daughter $100 for her bday on Friday @@! 

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 2:48 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 2:51 AM

In a way I feel like a bitch wondering about CS while he is really down, but then my priority is our daughter Nd making sure she has what she needs. Yes I work full time. I provide her ins etc. but he needs to help cover the cost of her too! 

Leigh84
by Gold Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:52 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't think him living in a hotel can lower his support. Where I live they don't care how much NCP has to pay for living expenses. He would be responsible for a percentage of his child's income 1st.
dawncs
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:09 AM

I seriously doubt he can reduce his child support due to living in a hotel because the courts would not care. You have to realize most of the nicer apartment complexes do a criminal background check before they will lease an apartment to someone. I bet there are some tough standards on this with them. This can be used as a good lesson to the kids on why not to get into trouble in the law because it can cost good paying jobs and even living arrangements in better areas.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:25 AM
1 mom liked this

Nope, this will not meet the legal burden of a change in circumstance to reduce his child support.  It is like voluntarily opting to reside anywhere where the cost may be increased, thsi will have no effect on his chilc support obligation.  

He can appeal the denial, he van write a letter requesting an appeal of the management company's decision, stating how he has remedied the situation (although if he is still drinking, he really hasn't remedied the situation).  

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:07 PM

He sounds like a spoiled brat.  People who make stupid choices that compromise their living arrangements and cash flow can't afford attitudes like, "I'm not ghetto."  If living in the "ghetto" for a few months gets you from Point A to Point B, suck it up.  But back to your question, I wouldn't think his decision to live more expensively would get much sympathy in court.  If the average cost of an apartment in your area comparable to or nicer than his hotel is, for example, $500-600/month, you can always present that info as a counter argument.  The cost of luxuries he wants doesn't negate the cost of needs of his child.

progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:20 PM

Just curious – how do you know how much is he spending on the hotel?

 

I work in a hotel and we have a guest that’s lived here for the past two years. He has an unbelievably cheap rate, because he’s been here so long. My coworkers and I have added up his expenses compared to our expenses, and while living in a hotel does cost more money - it’s not that much more.

 

To answer your actual question, I doubt they would lower his CS because he’s choosing to live in an expensive hotel. If the average cost of apartments were lower than staying at a hotel, then I’m sure they would consider his choice an unnecessary luxury.

phoenixhuntress
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 1:34 PM

I'm going to play devil's advocate here but I have a friend (the BM) who lived in a hotel with her 2 kids.  Her ex ruined her credit & she had a terrible time getting a place because apt complexes as well as individuals who rent homes rely on credit checks so she was basically screwed!  

The long term hotel she found was clean & in a good neighborhood/school system as well.  She paid $756/month.  People would complain & tell her she could find an apt cheaper but really she couldn't.  Once you add in the cost of electric, water/sewage, trash pick up (many apt complexes in her area wouldn't cover that but tacked it on as a $30/month extra on top of rent), landline phone, cable & internet it was MUCH cheaper for her to live there than rent an apt.  There was little concern about missing an electric bill, water bill, phone bill & having those utilities shut off unlike if she fell behind in one of those & paying for apt.  The hot water was unlimited (meaning the kids were sure to get nice warm baths every day at any time of day) & though she was frugal if a light was left on it didn't run up the electric bill nor did turning up the heat on those more chilly winter day or A/C on those blistering hot summer days the midwest had last summer). 

Not all hotels are sleezy & not all cost the price of the Ritz-Carlton either.  

Cheapest apt in her area: $550 (for required 2 bedroom for 3 people)

           Electric bill:   $75 (if a person is pretty frugal & doesn't use much heat or A/C)

                                   Water:   $40 (which varies upon use)

                               Sewage:   $30 (I'm going by what my DH & I pay/month & it varies)

                              Landline:    $30

                                   Trash:    $30

                                Internet:    $25  (this was  helpful for her teen son's homework since most schools think

                                                             all kids have internet access at home & want work next day..lol)

                                    Cable:   $25  (not necessary but since hotel had it let's add it in)

                         Total for apt: $805 ($755 w/o internet & cable so for $1 more she got those for her kids)

progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 1:55 PM

Also, just to add – some hotels offer free food.

 

My hotel offers a full complimentary breakfast, a complimentary manager’s reception with evening dinner and drinks, and soda and snacks throughout the evening. While the food might get monotonous, your ‘rent’ would include two meals a day plus snacks.

 

We also have a work out facility, an indoor pool, and a hot tub. You have maid service every day, so you’re bedding is always clean. Maintenance takes care of all repairs. Also if you stay in a hotel for more than thirty days, you don’t have to pay the occupancy tax (example : our tax rate is over 12% if you stay for 30+ days, you only pay the 7% sales tax on the room price).

 

And if the hotel offers any reward programs you get points for each night. You can rack up points very quickly, which you can then use for free nights.

Quoting phoenixhuntress:

I'm going to play devil's advocate here but I have a friend (the BM) who lived in a hotel with her 2 kids.  Her ex ruined her credit & she had a terrible time getting a place because apt complexes as well as individuals who rent homes rely on credit checks so she was basically screwed!  

The long term hotel she found was clean & in a good neighborhood/school system as well.  She paid $756/month.  People would complain & tell her she could find an apt cheaper but really she couldn't.  Once you add in the cost of electric, water/sewage, trash pick up (many apt complexes in her area wouldn't cover that but tacked it on as a $30/month extra on top of rent), landline phone, cable & internet it was MUCH cheaper for her to live there than rent an apt.  There was little concern about missing an electric bill, water bill, phone bill & having those utilities shut off unlike if she fell behind in one of those & paying for apt.  The hot water was unlimited (meaning the kids were sure to get nice warm baths every day at any time of day) & though she was frugal if a light was left on it didn't run up the electric bill nor did turning up the heat on those more chilly winter day or A/C on those blistering hot summer days the midwest had last summer). 

Not all hotels are sleezy & not all cost the price of the Ritz-Carlton either.  

Cheapest apt in her area: $550 (for required 2 bedroom for 3 people)

           Electric bill:   $75 (if a person is pretty frugal & doesn't use much heat or A/C)

                                   Water:   $40 (which varies upon use)

                               Sewage:   $30 (I'm going by what my DH & I pay/month & it varies)

                              Landline:    $30

                                   Trash:    $30

                                Internet:    $25  (this was  helpful for her teen son's homework since most schools think

                                                             all kids have internet access at home & want work next day..lol)

                                    Cable:   $25  (not necessary but since hotel had it let's add it in)

                         Total for apt: $805 ($755 w/o internet & cable so for $1 more she got those for her kids)

 

lnr187
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 4:16 PM

that should not cause cs to be reduced. if he can not afford it, then he should go to dept of social services. they can set him up with housing.

phoenixhuntress
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 4:19 PM

Oh if only she could have found that hotel!  2 boys eating for free would have saved her a bundle!  HAHA!

Quoting progressandjoy:


Also, just to add – some hotels offer free food.

 

My hotel offers a full complimentary breakfast, a complimentary manager’s reception with evening dinner and drinks, and soda and snacks throughout the evening. While the food might get monotonous, your ‘rent’ would include two meals a day plus snacks.

 

We also have a work out facility, an indoor pool, and a hot tub. You have maid service every day, so you’re bedding is always clean. Maintenance takes care of all repairs. Also if you stay in a hotel for more than thirty days, you don’t have to pay the occupancy tax (example : our tax rate is over 12% if you stay for 30+ days, you only pay the 7% sales tax on the room price).

 

And if the hotel offers any reward programs you get points for each night. You can rack up points very quickly, which you can then use for free nights.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN