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Posted by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:12 PM
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This is related to something I posted in another group, but curious to see others' situations.

BMs, do you send receipts to BF to get reimbursed for things for your child(ren), or do you expect BF to reimburse you or pay for things based on paperwork stating so? Is this also a reflection on your parenting relationship with the BF?

SMs, does your DH/SO pay for things for his child(ren) after receiving information (verbal/e-mail/flyer/etc) about payments to be made, or does he wait for a receipt to reimburse for what was paid? What kind of relationship does your DH/SO have with the BM?

Both, what does the CO say about reimbursements or payments?

In our case, DH and BM have a CO that says that all payments that need to be reimbursed will be given to the OP within seven days of receipt and payment for reimbursement will be provided upon that receipt. In our case, BM hates giving DH any sort of receipt. She asks for money for reimbursement based upon a flyer that was sent, or a school newsletter, or whatnot (in which she states she paid for something). DH always asks her for a receipt and he doesn't pay her until she provides it, which should not be an issue because BM always claims she has receipts for everything anyway (such as "I already made the $$$ payment to hold SS' place in school, and I will be forwarding the receipt soon").

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:12 PM
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by Gold Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:17 PM
My DH is cp, there is no cs and him and BM have a EOW schedule. DH is the one who pays for extras like sports, school supplies, and school fees. He asks BM if she can chip in for these things. Sometime she does, sometimes she doesn't.
by Gold Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:18 PM
I would not expect anyone to pay something without some form of receipt being given.

Maybe DH could buy a receipt book and any time he contributes based on school flyers or whatever, BM could sign a receipt. If the activity doesn't get paid for then it's all on BM and your DH will have record of that should it ever become an issue?

Just a suggestion. It may not work out like I have in my head.

As far as medical payments I would see if DH could make them directly to the hospital or office and be provided a receipt for his payment by them.
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Dh requests a bill and pays directly to the company/entity. Never to BM. We keep records so she can never say it wasn't paid.
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by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:26 PM
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No receipt with legitimate proof of payment=no reimbursement. 

by Silver Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:29 PM
There are no reimbursement rules laid out for BM and DH. Since they are 50/50, it is generally whoever is there/gets the notice/makes the choice handles it.

If we pick up SS and there is a flyer in his lunch bag we sent the $; if BM picks up that day she sends. Copays are the same way.

The only time this has come up with a large amount was when BM was convinced that SS was not properly developing (she felt he was late to verbalize). DH did not agree with her assessment. He told her that if she wanted to subject him to unnecessary testing that he would not try to stop her, but it was on her- and that included the financial burden.

We are signing up SS for his first EC to begin next month. No reimbursement is expected.
by Platinum Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:30 PM

I won't pay anything to BF without a receipt due to actions he chose at the beginning of our separation/divorce, where he said he'd do something and I paid him for my half, only to find out he didn't get around to it, and I ended up paying for it twice, without recourse.  BF doesn't pay anything without a receipt from me (or a quote at the very least, but then if he pays ahead of time I'm fully responsible after, which is fair too) per SMs rule. Both are fair.  I was stupid in the beginning and thought I could trust him where his kids were concerned... and I learned I couldn't pretty fast.

CO simply states that BF is to pay half of certain bills/expenses, but that also assumes that I pay them first, take responsibility for things getting done (as I've always done), etc.  It doesn't mention receipts at all.  There is no time frame for this reimbursement in our CO. 

by Silver Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:31 PM

Dh is NCP, and has done both in the past, but will only be doing the latter in the future. BM was lying about things, and it was too much to always be keeping tabs. The only thing in the CO is about school uniforms, which they both are to pay half of. DH just gets half of what is on the list, which is 4 pants, 4 collared shirts, etc. and takes the tags off b/c BM likes to pull stunts like last yr, telling her mom that DH refused to do his part, so BM took DH's stuff back and got the $$. 

by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:36 PM
There has never been a child support set up in dh and bm's co. We always handled the majority of expenses and bm got when needed for ss. (we are custodial but he will be living and going to school with her this year on a trial basis) It has never been a complicated issue.
by Platinum Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:42 PM
DH is CP, and the CO doesn't list anything responsible for helping with. BM is supposed to pay CS and doesn't even pay that.

However, in the event there was something DH wanted her to help with, he'd scan an email a copy of the receipt. If BM wanted DH to pay for something he wouldn't pay a penny without a receipt.

When BM was CP, DH paid 50% of co-pays. BM was always trying to get him to send it to her, but he refused. Every Friday he'd call the therapy clinic and ask which appointments SD made it to that week, then he'd pay his 50% of co-pays and ask for a receipt to be mailed to him. BM never paid her half and they all went into collections. BM gave the company all of MY information as the responsible party. I had to supply proof of all payments made and a copy of the CO before they took my name off.
by Skeletor on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:45 PM

Ex is court ordered to reimburse 50% of uncovered medical - he never has followed that clause, ever.  *shrugs*  So he is supposed to, and I do not expect it as a BM.  

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