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How much effort should I put into SS's relationship with BM?

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 1:24 PM
  • 20 Replies
My SS lives with DH and I. He visited BM last month, so he's been back for about 1 month. Since then BM has only called once. She talked to DH a few times, but did not ask to talk to her son. SS asked to call his mom once (the day after she called). I told DH about it but I don't think he called BM so SS can talk to her. My question is, should I put more effort into making sure SS has a relationship with BM or should I pretty much leave it up to DH?
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 1:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
packermomof2
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 1:30 PM

No, you shouldn't. Dad should help him.  It says a lot about the parent who teaches the kid to respect their other parent no matter how they feel about them or how the OP acts. 

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 1:34 PM

 leave it up to him.

busymommy2013
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 1:35 PM
I would leave it up to dh and bm.
Jane2112
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 1:39 PM

If your DH isn't doing it, and that boy wants to call his mother, let him call his mother.  If she doesn't want to talk to him after that, then it's on her, not you or your husband.

Jane2112
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 1:41 PM

I'd also ask your husband WHY he didn't let your SS call his mom, or why he didn't do it for him.  That's just, odd to me.

But if my SS was living with me, and came up to me and asked to call his mom, I'd have no problem dialing the number for him.  I don't see an issue with it, or why you have to consult your husband over it, especially when he's not doing it.  Never keep a child from either parent.

newstepmom61811
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 2:19 PM

I look at it this way...two of my SKs have their own cell phones...can talk to BM as much as they please...have no idea the contact at this point...only kid who needs "help" is SS age 5...he asks me I dial the number, simply say..."Hey it's Newstep, SS5 asked to talk to you, here" and I put him on. I don't remind him, I don't force him, it's when he asks...If she calls to talk to him I put him on with her...that simple really...DH does the same...pushing adds tension...just let happen what happens naturally...

Jane2112
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 2:30 PM

You said this way better than I did.  Lol.


Quoting newstepmom61811:

I look at it this way...two of my SKs have their own cell phones...can talk to BM as much as they please...have no idea the contact at this point...only kid who needs "help" is SS age 5...he asks me I dial the number, simply say..."Hey it's Newstep, SS5 asked to talk to you, here" and I put him on. I don't remind him, I don't force him, it's when he asks...If she calls to talk to him I put him on with her...that simple really...DH does the same...pushing adds tension...just let happen what happens naturally...



bottomline
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 2:46 PM

 Depending on the age, let DH handle it.  I wouldn't push it too much because they could flip out on you for pushing.

spicy0425
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 2:54 PM

Leave it to your DH, BM and your SS. Why do you want to put more effort into something that you might have no control over?

CFSTBSM27
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:22 PM
Let your husband do it and if it's doesn't work, then oh well. It's,between DH and BM
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