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Would you be upset..

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:07 PM
  • 39 Replies

Dh and I have been married 2 years. My daughter is from another man and his son from another woman. We have one child together. His parents love ss more than words (which is a wonderful thing). They don't however, like my children. Since we married she has skipped every birthday and Christmas involving my dd and ds and had her own private holiday with ss. When my ds was born not a card, present, not a congratulations...nothing. She will come to pick ss up and tell him she has a surprise and when my daughter gets excited she will tell her not for her just ss ....would anyone else have a problem with this?


*******EDIT***

I forgot to add in that she went to the hospital and bought gifts for BMs new son (with her husband) and she considers him her grandchild...I just don't understand it. I do not let SS see her in my home anymore they meet in town and he goes with her. She doesn't come to my home and frankly we avoid her.

by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:12 PM
I would. It would devastate me. I never had a situation like that but I had not very nice in laws the first time around. They were a small percentage of the reason for my divorce. When I met my husband, in the back of my mind I kept thinking, if I don't like his parents or I get a weird vibe, I'm out. I'm not doing this again. As with my first husband, family came first. His parents were very important to him as they should be. But their comments and whispers in the ear were just too much for me. One day he would say 'you're right I don't like the way they treat you I see it and I'm not putting up with it'. Then the next day he would start with 'well I just don't think they've had a chance to really get to know you. Give them a break I think they mean well'

I could not have been happier to no longer be their daughter in law. They say it was the best day of their life when their son left me. Well they have no idea how elated I was when I realized I would never have to spend another condescending holiday with them again .... I hit the in law jack pot this second time ...
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charmed_423
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:18 PM
I now refuse any family events on his side, not in a hateful way but for social gatherings I just make sure we have other obligations but if I can't get out of going I hire a sitter or let the kids stay at their other grandparents so they don't have to live through it. It doesn't offend in laws they honestly do not care. They ignored my dd birthday and gave my ss $200 cash and 3 new video games :( my daughter just recently started to notice the differences. The crazy thing is my dd dads mom treats ss like he is a part of her family as do my parents of course (I have a great relationship with bio dad and his family)


Quoting momof2ex1:

I would. It would devastate me. I never had a situation like that but I had not very nice in laws the first time around. They were a small percentage of the reason for my divorce. When I met my husband, in the back of my mind I kept thinking, if I don't like his parents or I get a weird vibe, I'm out. I'm not doing this again. As with my first husband, family came first. His parents were very important to him as they should be. But their comments and whispers in the ear were just too much for me. One day he would say 'you're right I don't like the way they treat you I see it and I'm not putting up with it'. Then the next day he would start with 'well I just don't think they've had a chance to really get to know you. Give them a break I think they mean well'



I could not have been happier to no longer be their daughter in law. They say it was the best day of their life when their son left me. Well they have no idea how elated I was when I realized I would never have to spend another condescending holiday with them again .... I hit the in law jack pot this second time ...

lnr187
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:20 PM

 yes! that's not fair to the children and your dh should say something to her about it.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:20 PM
I would t expose my kids to her and I'd avoid her too
charmed_423
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:23 PM
He has and she denies it with poor excuses..I don't want to fight about it with her so we avoid and stay busy a lot


Quoting lnr187:

 yes! that's not fair to the children and your dh should say something to her about it.


lnr187
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:24 PM

 well in that case, i'd just tell her "we see it this way, if you won't be fair, you don't have to come over to see ss either"

Quoting charmed_423:

He has and she denies it with poor excuses..I don't want to fight about it with her so we avoid and stay busy a lot


Quoting lnr187:

 yes! that's not fair to the children and your dh should say something to her about it.


 

charmed_423
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:25 PM
We don't let her anymore dh meets her somewhere and let him see her, if we took her out of his life it would hurt him badly...I can't do that to him..he loves her


Quoting lnr187:

 well in that case, i'd just tell her "we see it this way, if you won't be fair, you don't have to come over to see ss either"


Quoting charmed_423:

He has and she denies it with poor excuses..I don't want to fight about it with her so we avoid and stay busy a lot



Quoting lnr187:


 yes! that's not fair to the children and your dh should say something to her about it.



 


Nlvonblah
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:28 PM

Do whatever you have to do to protect your child from this horrific person.  What is your DH doing about his mother's behavior?  I feel for you dd.  N

charmed_423
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:30 PM
He's spoken with her and all but completely cut ties, he agrees with me on her behavior but she refuses to admit there is a difference. He won't cut ties because of ss and his relationship..we don't want to punish him because she refuses to be decent to our other 2


Quoting Nlvonblah:

Do whatever you have to do to protect your child from this horrific person.  What is your DH doing about his mother's behavior?  I feel for you dd.  N


charmed_423
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:32 PM
When she was allowed over I actually kicked her out of my home on occasion for being hateful to my daughter..now dd goes to my dads or her grandmothers house if we have to associate (ie a funeral or something)


Quoting Nlvonblah:

Do whatever you have to do to protect your child from this horrific person.  What is your DH doing about his mother's behavior?  I feel for you dd.  N


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