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Contesting a move

Posted by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:00 AM
  • 20 Replies

Has anyone gone through the process of contesting a move?  BM informed DH of her plans to move back in April.  DH immediately contested and the initial case management hearing was scheduled for 2 weeks from now.  Since that time, BM has offered a settlement and BM and DH have attended mediation together.  Nothing has been agreed upon. 

SS is to start school the day after the initial hearing.  BM is waiting until this hearing to register him for school/classes.  In DH's prior court experience, no final decisions will be made at the case management hearing.  BM thinks the judge will make a decision as to where he will attend school on this date.  BM is also waiting to enroll SS in extracurricular activities until after this hearing.  That means both parties will be covering late fees and SS will miss a good number of practices.   

Does anyone have experience with this?  Is it likely that the judge will tell BM yes or no on the move at the case management hearing?  Or is she just being hopeful?  I hate that this leaves SS in limbo on the whole thing too.     

by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:00 AM
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by Bronze Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:17 AM
In my experience it depends on a few things. The reason for the move. How far away it is. Whether or not there is a plan in place for visitation. Etc. it also depends on the mood of the judge at the time.

Our relocation was easy because BM didn't have visitation at the time.
by Platinum Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:28 AM
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When dh goes to court he needs to address the school and ec issue and ask that bm be responsible for all fees related to her refusal to sign him up in a timely manner.
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 11:31 AM

How far away is BM moving? What will this move affect visitation wise and/or distance wise?

by Bronze Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 12:39 PM

BM has recommended as part of the move DH lose his weekday visitation and shorten his weekend visitation - though this is not why he is contesting the move but why he has filed for a modification of the original court order. 

Thanks for the advice on addressing school and EC.  I will have DH talk about it with our attorney. 

by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 9:23 PM

 im a little confused... who does ss live with now? is bm trying to move away from dh and take ss with her? because school starts immediately after the court date, the judge will have to set a temporary order and that will probably remain in effect through the whole school year. i don't think the judge would have him switch schools mid year.

by Platinum Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 9:29 PM

I"ve not done this so I have no advice.  I just wanted to say I'm (probably shouldn't be) surprised it tok from April until August to get in to see the judge.  Not knowing the situation for you I'll use my situation as an example.  If I were to let BF know that I was moving, it'd be for a job (a better job for me).  I've always had the boys with me.  A better job, requiring a move, would not likely be within the state (as it's expensive everywhere here so I'd likely move out of state).  I don't think I can go to court over this until I do have an offer on a job but I can't see a future prospective job holding a position for me for 4 months or longer either.  Yikes. 

How far does BM want to move? What is the move for?  What has BF offered and what has BM countered with? (I'm being nosey, I don't need to know nor were these questions anything about what your post is really about.  You don't have to answer, I'm just being nosey.) 

by Gold Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:33 PM

When I went through this, my child was a baby, and the judge refused to make any changes in visitation so after I moved I had to drive 120 miles round trip every other Wednesday so my EX could visit with our child for 2 hours and then EOW I had to deliver my child to my Ex for visits, return home (120 miles rd. trip), and then make the 120 mi. rd. trip on Sunday to pick my child up.   Don't always count on judges being reasonable!   In the judge's mind, I was the one moving so I should take on the hardship (I had remarried and we were relocating to shorten my new DH's commute and get me away from my Ex, whom I feared).

by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:29 AM

My boyfriend went to a settlement hearing today to try to get an emergency hearing to keep his ex from moving out of state with the kids to her boyfriends house so they can "share the bills".  It got denied.  He's possibly looking at less time with his kids and it's devastating to say the least.  6yr old and 15 math old.  SS tells us he doesn't want to move at all, but hasn't told mommy.  He's rather smart for his age and I think he  realizes she doesn't pay him any mind when it comes to his feelings.  She's doing this to hurt my boyfriend.....even though she's been with her bf for a year now, at some point you'd think she'd get over their divorce and not hurt him so much or put the children in the middle.  How did you get the move contested?

by Bronze Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 1:28 PM

SS currently lives with BM and has visitation with DH.  This move will directly affect the visitation he has with DH as well as many other aspects of SS's life.  DH does not feel like the affect on SS will be a positive one, hence the reason he is contesting the move.  BM has offered many options to allow DH to let her move such as removing child support obligation, offering to provide insurance for SS, providing all transportation to and from visitation, ect.  DH is not interested as he doesn't feel the move is healthy for SS. 

It isn't uncommon for it to take a few months to get before a judge.  Neither DH or BM requested an emergency hearing which may have expedited the process.  We expect that after the initial case management hearing it will take 3 - 4 months before the actual trial takes place based on scheduling.  This is also not uncommon where we live.  The beauty of the legal system I guess.

by Ruby Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 1:33 PM
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 it seems like BM was trying to compromise. what exactly is not healthy for SS?

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