This seems to be on of the eternal questions of stepmotherhood. What can my stepchild call me? Why can't the child call you whatever makes him/her happy? Ultimately in any step-situation, the child is supposed to be the one thought about the most right? Like how to make the whole situation easiest for this child? So why can't we let the child decide?
Most parents introduce their SO to their child by their first name from the get go, Right off the bat, that person isn't their Mom or Dad but as the relationship becomes more comfortable and the child knows the distinction in her mind between parent and stepparent but would like to call them both Mom or Dad or a cute nickname because it makes the CHILD happier or more comfortable or more accepted, why is that so wrong? Why can't parents put aside their own insecurities and fears and put it all aside for the sake of their child's happiness? Is it so wrong for a child to call someone Mom but it is their stepmom if the CHILD chooses too?
I do NOT think stepparents or parents should tell the kid to call their stepparent Dad or Mom but if the child feels most comfortable with that name from their own perogative...I don't see the issue. I don't care what my future skids call me as long as it is respectful and a name that they are comfortable with.
Just my random musings...