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I just want to know why she does it

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 7:36 AM
  • 95 Replies

Some of you might have read my brief outburst in the other post ... I apologize for the language, but I just had it!

DD has been suffering from severe, migraine-like headaches for more than 2 years. Initially  we thought it was her eyesight which caused them. She got tinted glasses, and the headaches improved for a while. Her eyes are okay now (glasses no longer required), but the headaches haven't gone, quite the contrary, they increased.

Over the past two weeks, DD has had dizzy spells, bouts of nausea (to the point of vomitting) ... and bad headaches, always in the same place. The day before yesterday, she called me from the stables, saying she was really ill. I went to collect her, and she said she was fine again, the nausea had passed ... so I left again. 30 minutes later, she had vomitted all over the place. I collected her, she was shaking, kept vomitting throughout the 10-minute drive ... it was so bad that she even lost control of her bowels.

So I decided to take her to the doctor the following day... and told BF about it. He didn't consider it necessary and suggested calling the phone helpline instead, because they "might" be able to tell me what "might" be wrong! I don't care what "might" be wrong, I want to know what "is" wrong.

DD had a good night's sleep and talked to BF the following morning ... he questioned her about symptoms etc, over and over again. SM seemed to be listening in the background, since she commented occasionally. After about 5 minutes, BF said to DD "well, maybe it is a good idea after all if mom takes you to the doctor". So SM takes the phone from BF, and asks DD exactly the same questions BF already asked her. No "sorry you are ill" or "hope you'll be better soon", but a mere double-checking of BF's decision to agree with me.

I've got it under control. I pay for medical care, on my own. I take her to the appointment, I keep BF in the loop. So WHY ON EARTH does she feel the need to yet again interfere? Why should this even be a topic for discussion in their household? I don't have a history of dragging DD to the doctor for every little thing! Why the hell does this cow have to make every little thing so incredibly hard? I don't get it!

by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 7:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 7:48 AM
Truthfully, I think because you do choose to make her more significant than she is. You sound more hostile to her than to your Ex who is the person responsible for SM and SM's presence. You and BF allow her to behave this way, you can stop the behave, it continues because you haven't.
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Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 8:06 AM
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Don't worry about the why when it comes to SM. it won't matter in the end. And the answer won't make sense to you because she thinks differently and has different definitions of common sense. You can't change her anyway.

For crying out loud this is a no brainer when it comes to taking your DD in. Just do what you know us right and trust your gut. That's the why I hope you figure out before she suffers longer.
Pero3
by Silver Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 8:26 AM

 I can't stop her behaviour ... she isn't my child, she is my ex's wife!


Quoting leegirl_jm:

Truthfully, I think because you do choose to make her more significant than she is. You sound more hostile to her than to your Ex who is the person responsible for SM and SM's presence. You and BF allow her to behave this way, you can stop the behave, it continues because you haven't.


 

newstepmom61811
by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 8:35 AM
2 moms liked this
Pero, I think you include your ex too much...in a case like this, it happened on your time, you pay for medical, you're taking her to The doctors on your time...it will not impact him...and since he doesn't work with you in any rational fashion and SM has his balls on her necklace around her neck...you have to cut her out by cutting him out...SM is behaving this way because HE lets her first and then you are trying unneccessarily hard with a an ex who wants to work less with you than you think. I know you're trying to do the right thing but it's not working. You're s doesn't even really protect your child and her things in his home from SM her children and her rantings...of course they will collectively make something like this difficult. Your ex is a puppet of SMs, that's the dynamic...you have to distance him some...
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 8:38 AM
So? She was speaking to your child. I guess I got a different handbook when I had my children. You are making a choice in allowing this behaviour so I will assume it is really not significant and has no impact on your child.

Quoting Pero3:

 I can't stop her behaviour ... she isn't my child, she is my ex's wife!




Quoting leegirl_jm:

Truthfully, I think because you do choose to make her more significant than she is. You sound more hostile to her than to your Ex who is the person responsible for SM and SM's presence. You and BF allow her to behave this way, you can stop the behave, it continues because you haven't.



 

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baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 8:42 AM
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I think it really sucks that in a time like this....with scary headaches like that, you have to deal with the questions. Then on top of that you have to deal with some non entity putting her nose where it doesnt belong.

I'm sorry.

Pero3
by Silver Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 8:55 AM

 What does your handbook say when it comes to handling such situations?

I assumed she wanted to comfort DD ... my uterus doesn't have a problem with that. My uterus has an issue with questioning my judgement of the situation ... and her DH's! What's the worst that can happen if I take her to the doctor unnecessarily? The doctor can tell me DD is absolutely fine! That's what I actually want to hear!


Quoting leegirl_jm:

So? She was speaking to your child. I guess I got a different handbook when I had my children. You are making a choice in allowing this behaviour so I will assume it is really not significant and has no impact on your child.

 

 

Amy1973Potts
by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 9:02 AM
Why would anyone question this child being taken to the doctors for the issues and symptoms listed? Are they retarded?
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newstepmom61811
by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 9:07 AM
Pero, no offense, you have your head in the sand about SM...this is the woman that takes your kid's clothes, yells at her when she tries to protect her stuff she's.just.not.that.nice. I know you adore DD and jump to others will automatically treat her well. SM has proven time and again she won't...let this be a lesson learned as to this woman's true colors...I think she safely sees your child as an intrusive inconvenience in her thinly veiled perfect life...I would not trust her...her actions show she can't be and I would consider a firmer stand with your ex...that your DD does love and want to see him but the wife needs to step out of the arrangement...


Quoting Pero3:

 What does your handbook say when it comes to handling such situations?


I assumed she wanted to comfort DD ... my uterus doesn't have a problem with that. My uterus has an issue with questioning my judgement of the situation ... and her DH's! What's the worst that can happen if I take her to the doctor unnecessarily? The doctor can tell me DD is absolutely fine! That's what I actually want to hear!




Quoting leegirl_jm:

So? She was speaking to your child. I guess I got a different handbook when I had my children. You are making a choice in allowing this behaviour so I will assume it is really not significant and has no impact on your child.

 


 


newstepmom61811
by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 9:09 AM
This one, yes, she's the underwear sharing for her own kids, toiletry stealing, yelling at SK SM...the Exes balls are in on a necklace around her neck...he sees no issue with how she treats the daughter in his home...


Quoting Amy1973Potts:

Why would anyone question this child being taken to the doctors for the issues and symptoms listed? Are they retarded?

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