For those who don't know: dh and bm had 50/50 from when they separated 5 years ago until dh was granted primary custody last August. Cs was never order except for a 6 month period in which dh was granted full custody during a dcf investigation into bm for breaking sd's leg. Bm didn't pay a dime, and nothing was done.
When dh was awarded custody cs was suspended because bm was voluntarily in school and ”couldn't work” (how she would have paid for sd to be there full time like she was fighting for is beyond me). Anyways, so for the last year dh has been notifying bm of different expenses for sd such as school supplies, school uniforms, ec cost, and daycare. his thinking was that if bm would offer to pay what she could afford, he wouldnt need to go through the court for cs when the time comes.
Bm ignored dhs emails (even the o ne about the cost of daycare that informed her of the cost per day asking her to at least pay for the day she has sd there on her time that he is paying for). The only response that dh got was bm saying she would only pay what is court ordered (which is 50% ofuninsured medical and she hasn't paid him for that in almost a year).
So 3 months ago bm graduates and dh decides to file for cs since bm has made it clear she won't provide for sd unless ordered by a judge to. Well now on several occasions when dh has had to either speak with someone on the phone or in person about the cs case, he has had several people treat him like crap because how dare he ask a mom to support her kid? The cs office discovered that bm has been fraudulently claiming sd for welfare, food stamps, and medicaid for the last two years. They told him they were reportingbm for fraud but dh would need to call and report it as well, and when he did one of the supervisors actually scoffed and said ”what, you don't want your kid to eat?” This was AFTER dh let him know bm was choosing to not get a job for the last 3 months!
I don't get it. If a man did that he'd be a pos, but the mom isn't working, isn't in school, isn't trying to work, and isn't supporting her kid, but dh is the bad guy for trying to get her to be responsible for her own child?