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Wonder how SM would feel?

Posted by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 11:07 AM
  • 20 Replies

My exSIL is in labor (WOOHOO!) and my exMIL created a mass text to keep us all updated on her progress. In the mass text she included me, my ex, exBIL, and exSIL (exBIL's wife). 

1. Its kinda weird to be in this mass text with him, even though he is the only one who hasnt taken part in the conversation

2. I wonder how SM would feel if she saw this text. I know I would be pretty upset if I werent included in something like this and BM was. 

How would you feel about not being included while BM was???


by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 11:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Graceplustwo
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 11:18 AM
3 moms liked this
Well I have always felt as though EXs are exactly that . No longer members of the family. I would deff feel hurt if that was me. I think it disrespectful to the current wife.
LoveMy2x4
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 11:28 AM

A little background:

Ex is not involved in my kids lives. He hasnt seen them in over 7 months and has only seen them one other time in the past 14 months. The only way his family can see the kids is through me. He doesnt really speak to any of them much because of the way he has been to my kids. Im still very close to all of them.

But regardless of that, I do feel bad for his fiance. I feel like she really has no idea what she is in for. And I wish his family would be a little more open to accepting her. 


Quoting Graceplustwo:

Well I have always felt as though EXs are exactly that . No longer members of the family. I would deff feel hurt if that was me. I think it disrespectful to the current wife.



runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 11:37 AM
I think it's so nice of you to be empathetic towards SM.

Being left out of a text like that would hurt my feelings too. Luckily, my husband's family is very accepting of me, and never liked BM, so I haven't faced that.

But even still, it can be hard as an SM, being the new person surrounded by people that have so much history together, and I've definitely felt that when I'm around BM.
Graceplustwo
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 11:38 AM
Well if they can only see skids through you then it makes perfect sense for you to be included and that sucks for kids that BF kinda abandoned them Like that and no wonder why his wife isn't included


Quoting LoveMy2x4:

A little background:

Ex is not involved in my kids lives. He hasnt seen them in over 7 months and has only seen them one other time in the past 14 months. The only way his family can see the kids is through me. He doesnt really speak to any of them much because of the way he has been to my kids. Im still very close to all of them.

But regardless of that, I do feel bad for his fiance. I feel like she really has no idea what she is in for. And I wish his family would be a little more open to accepting her. 



Quoting Graceplustwo:

Well I have always felt as though EXs are exactly that . No longer members of the family. I would deff feel hurt if that was me. I think it disrespectful to the current wife.





rocknmom85
by Silver Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 11:50 AM

That woulld feel kinda crappy but would never happen in my case. MIL adores me and does not really communicate with BM, she never really liked her very much.

SMInProgress
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 11:56 AM

My exMIL & I love each other very much. I'm included as all the exes of her sons. We're one big happy blended family even when our marriages didn't pan out, we're still considered family.

My current MIL picks & chooses who, what, when, where on everything.  It creates more problems for her & everybody so I kind of leave it, stay out of things I don't want or care about.  It works for me because I get to pick & choose which events I want to be part of & not :)  BM is never contacted or invited by any of DH's family so that eliminates that conflict.

Pero3
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:00 PM

It should be up to her who she wishes to inform, or invite to family dos ... her son married his wife, his mother didn't!

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:10 PM

BM had a TERRIBLE relationship with DH's family, even before she and DH split. And honestly, MIL and I are not exact best friends. In fact we rarely go out of our way to communicate.

Honestly though, I may have a problem if MIL liked BM more than me, only because BM has caused a LOT of issues. 

progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:11 PM

The entire time I dated DH, MIL had a hard time letting go of BM. It did hurt my feelings.

 

BIL started dating a girl at the same DH and I started dating. From the get go, MIL introduced her as BIL’s girlfriend. About three months after seriously dating DH, we went to his parent’s house for Thanksgiving. MIL introduced me as DH’s ‘friend’. MIL hardly ever spoke to me, and when she did, it was a fake conversation about a superficial topic (usually the weather).

 

What hurt my feelings the most, was that we’d go visit them for a holiday. I always had to go to work – my shift was 2pm through 11pm. Before I left, I’d always make a plate of leftovers to take to work with me. MIL started making these really extravagant plates with everything on it … for BM. She’d make a great big show of, “Poor BM. She had to work this morning. It’s a shame she couldn’t have any holiday food for lunch. This plate is for her.” Then she’d start putting all the leftovers up while I was trying to scrounge something together for myself.

 

I understood that BM was once MIL’s daughter in law, but I felt like MIL was going out of her way to make me feel excluded. In the end, DH (who noticed what was going on) confronted MIL. Around the same time, BM started acting very cruelly towards MIL.

 

Now, MIL and I are pretty close. I go visit her alone. We go out of town together. We also love visiting garage sells.

pepper504
by Platinum Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this

If that is the case, then if she has issues, then she has to take it up with your exMIL and her fiance. 

Quoting LoveMy2x4:

A little background:

Ex is not involved in my kids lives. He hasnt seen them in over 7 months and has only seen them one other time in the past 14 months. The only way his family can see the kids is through me. He doesnt really speak to any of them much because of the way he has been to my kids. Im still very close to all of them.

But regardless of that, I do feel bad for his fiance. I feel like she really has no idea what she is in for. And I wish his family would be a little more open to accepting her. 


Quoting Graceplustwo:

Well I have always felt as though EXs are exactly that . No longer members of the family. I would deff feel hurt if that was me. I think it disrespectful to the current wife.




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