Question: Should I leave my bf?
Total Votes: 27
This is my first time reaching out to others who have been in my position. I'm tired of hearing, "Well you knew he had a kid." Yes I knew but I didn't UNDERSTAND how hard it would be! I'm sorry if this is too long but I'm desperate!
I'm a 22 yo college student, living in NY. My bf is 23, goes to school and works in Ohio. He's very loving. We've been dating for 2 years, his daughter is 5. She's a good kid but sooo spoiled. She started crying over a bag of chips that she said her daddy didn't open for her, which was open and shows how little she tries. You can't tell her anything, in any tone, without her crying and whimpering that she wants her mommy. Which is a lie because I tell her ok and to get her shoes on and she shuts up. She clings to me all day because she loves me but recently I've been distancing myself.
Everything started falling apart last summer when I met his ex. Just being in the same room with her, hearing her being called mommy, made me so sad. She wasn't a name anymore, she was a person. I walked out and started crying in the bathroom. My bf couldn't understand why and he just kept saying how I blew it with his ex. I then tried to apologize to her and she just said not to talk to her, ever, and to have a nice life (very mean and sarcastically). Now the kid says she tells her mommy she doesn't like me because her mommy hates me.
I am far from my friends and family when I visit. I am trying so hard to just get over the fact that the person I love started a family already but it's not easy. I get so depressed that I pretend I'm sleeping all day. Sometimes I hide in the closet to just get myself together. I get anxious when the phone rings or if a car pulls up because it might be his ex. Anything about pregnancy or teen parents in the news or tv puts me in a bad mood. The worst part is that no one understands. Literally every single person I've talked to has just brushed it off saying that I knew he had a kid. I tried talking to my bf's mom. I said it's hard being with someone with a kid and she got mad and said "That's my granbaby you're talking about! My pride and joy!" I just wanted to say well, your granbaby was a teenage mistake so you got nothing to be proud about. I am so bitter now. I get treated like I'm an a**hole for being human.
Does it get easier? I love him so much, even though it's tough being with him I'm still sad that summer is ending and I'll have to leave again. I'm starting to wonder if I should just never come back.