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Just Venting

Posted by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 7:19 PM
  • 4 Replies
I just need to vent a little bit about BM. I have been feeling so angry with her lately and I just need to get it all out.

I honestly feel like she sees SS as an inconvenience. Its just so frustrating. He just started kindergarten :) so he is living with us during the week and she gets him on the weekends. Well during the summer she was supposed to get him during the week and we would have him on weekends so that she could get some time with him before he started school. Well that didn't happen. She made so many excuses not to keep him! She kept saying that she couldn't afford daycare, so I offered to keep him while she was at work (for free). We live like 2 minutes from her work so it wasn't like it was out of the way, but she dropped him off one Monday and texted me telling me she couldn't afford the gas and didn't want to have to drive back and forth. I mean are you serious? Then last weekend she was supposed to pick him up on friday (which was his first day of school) and he was so excited to tell her about it. Well when she called he was napping so we said we would call her when he woke up. When we called she didn't answer (and we couldn't just bring him to her house because she had just moved and we didn't know her new address yet). We called multiple times and texted her and when she finally called us back at 830 she was like how about you just bring him to me tomorrow. I really just couldn't believe it! And when she was on the phone we had SS talk to her and he was almost in tears. :( I am just feeling so bad for him, because he's getting to that age where he can see what's going on. I just don't want her to continue to let him down :( I am just not sure if I should bring it to her attention that she is hurting him or if its just not my place. Ugh idk I just needed to get that off my chest.
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by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 7:19 PM
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Replies (1-4):
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 7:25 PM

Sometimes you just need to let it go. You can't change her. Just be good to your SS. I know what you mean, though.

by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 7:56 PM

It sounds like someone needs to tell her. Her behavior isn't golden just because she popped out a baby 6 yrs ago. That doesn't give her the right to constantly disappoint her child. She needs to be told, maybe not by the SM but certainly by Dad, it's his child she is hurting.

I hate the mentality on this forum to ALWAYS protect the bm no matter what. I'm new here, I have read a lot and am amazed at the amount of anger some women exhibit here. I'm a BM and no one here has asked me to sign the SMC Covenant to always defend BM. That and I have a brain.

by facta, non verba on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:06 PM

It is BF's place to let her know what she is doing is not good for the kid. Sad enough that someone has to tell her at all because she doesn't see it herself. I'd ask BF to sent her an email about this situation. Maybe he can tell her that his son will not be told about any plans with the mother so he won't be disappointed when it does not happen. When she keeps her word fine, and if not he will never know. You and your husband will know but you are able to handle it better than the little one. I feel sorry for that little boy. My SD went through similar stuff with BM, and trying to pickup the pieces every single time was not easy for me or my husband. :( 

by Silver Member on Aug. 17, 2013 at 11:03 PM
That's so sad. Poor little guy. I'd let it go. So sorry honey.
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