Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

thanks for telling me

Posted by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:44 AM
  • 16 Replies
Why is it that everytime bm gets involved with a married man when their wives find out the message dh or I. This has happened to him 3x and me 2xs. 3 different men. Its weird. Everytime the wives used to be friends of bms and they always tell us bm said she has custody of sd now. Ha right. I wish one of them would ask her what made my husband become so stupid. Lol.
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:44 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Leigh84
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 7:14 AM
Yeah BM in my sitch has told ppl she has joint custody even though she doesn't. She does has visitation EOW but from my understanding that's not necessarily the same thing as joint custody.
SMInProgress
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 11:50 AM

Wait, your BM is sleeping with her friend's husbands?? 3 different times?  WTH??? Wow, you guys can start your own support group :)

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:05 PM
Why do they feel the need to contact you? Probably because they are pissed and want someone in their corner. I would just ignore their communications. They are angry and want to tell the world what a hoe she is. Just laugh and say 'sorry your man cheated on you, I can't control what goes on in other people's marriages'.

As far as the custody thing, ignore that. Likely everyone knows who has custody. That is not hard to figure out. People lie and I've yet to figure out the reason

What a mess! Lol just be glad it isn't your mess!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:39 PM
Lol I'm not sure why they tell us I just wish one of them would ask her why dh would be so dumb to hand over custody. So I know what she's thinking if she ever fights it.


Quoting momof2ex1:

Why do they feel the need to contact you? Probably because they are pissed and want someone in their corner. I would just ignore their communications. They are angry and want to tell the world what a hoe she is. Just laugh and say 'sorry your man cheated on you, I can't control what goes on in other people's marriages'.



As far as the custody thing, ignore that. Likely everyone knows who has custody. That is not hard to figure out. People lie and I've yet to figure out the reason



What a mess! Lol just be glad it isn't your mess!

Rae706
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:28 PM
I'm sure they're trying to cause as much trouble for her as possible. Dies she know they've contacted you?
SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Probably just her way of making herself look good to these people. BM used to not even tell people about SS or wouldn't mention him in DSS or police situations...as she would do whatever she had to so that DH wouldn't find out what went on while SS was in her custody.

The texts, I would just ignore...or maybe forward to BM (only DH though). I might if I felt like stirring the pot, lol.

mamaBerg85
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 3:43 PM
I ignore them most of the time this last lady though her and I used to be friends who talked every now and then after bm moved out of her house. She asked me something about my dds aspergers and told me she was getting her son tested. Which he does have ASD. We used to talk weekly about our kids. We stopped because we got busy them recently sge messaged me saying I saw sd on ur fb waiting for the school bus do u still have her. I said yeah she's a good kid. She told me bm said shed taken over full custody. I responded with nope. Then she said that bm and her husband had an affair 2 yes ago and she just found out this summer. I asked her if they were working things out. We talked a bit. I didn't feed her any info but I asked a few questions and we talked about our kids again.
Other then her I do ignore all the rest. It does make me sick though. I looked my husband dead in the after and said if you ever cheat on me we are done if u ever cheat on me with bm I will consider killing the both of u but in the end I'd probably leave with the kids and move to another country so you could never see them again. He laughed I told him I'm dead serious. I know he's not the type so I know he wouldn't but omg I think I might throw up at the next drop off and ask her if shed fuck the big chunks and try to take them away from the baby chunks. Lol
minimoo
by Gold Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 6:29 PM
Every other week? How would that not be joint? Bf has eowe (if he chooses to take his visitation) and he has joint. Even when he disappeared for 6 months. Although the judge did add that even though we have joint, if there is a disagreement, I have final say. That was only bc he has to argue with anything anyone says (he's the type who will say the sun is up only at night just to argue and be a jerk).

Generally, parents have joint custody as long as one does not have sole. There is residential, which determined the cp and ncp- unless one parent does not have supervised or restricted/no visitation, they have joint residential custody w one being primary (or 50-50). Then there is legal custody, which is decision making. If one parent is awarded sole legal custody, then they have the right to make all decisions and the OP does not.

Joint doesn't necessarily mean 50-50.


Quoting Leigh84:

Yeah BM in my sitch has told ppl she has joint custody even though she doesn't. She does has visitation EOW but from my understanding that's not necessarily the same thing as joint custody.

Leigh84
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 6:34 PM
I see what you're saying but his co list only him as the cp and visitation is at his discression but he lets her have EOW


Quoting minimoo:

Every other week? How would that not be joint? Bf has eowe (if he chooses to take his visitation) and he has joint. Even when he disappeared for 6 months. Although the judge did add that even though we have joint, if there is a disagreement, I have final say. That was only bc he has to argue with anything anyone says (he's the type who will say the sun is up only at night just to argue and be a jerk).



Generally, parents have joint custody as long as one does not have sole. There is residential, which determined the cp and ncp- unless one parent does not have supervised or restricted/no visitation, they have joint residential custody w one being primary (or 50-50). Then there is legal custody, which is decision making. If one parent is awarded sole legal custody, then they have the right to make all decisions and the OP does not.



Joint doesn't necessarily mean 50-50.




Quoting Leigh84:

Yeah BM in my sitch has told ppl she has joint custody even though she doesn't. She does has visitation EOW but from my understanding that's not necessarily the same thing as joint custody.


minimoo
by Gold Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 6:37 PM
Lol. One of my bff's dh's ex is a hobag. She cheated on him w another man, got knocked up, left her dh and kids, then married the other guy (yes, while still married to friend's dh), dh divorced her, other marriage was invalidated due to polygamy laws, cheated on the other guy, knocked up again, left first other guy and their kid...cycle repeat, repeat, repeat. She had kids w 5 different guys (6 kids total- 2 w friend's dh) and proceeded to abandon all of the kids. All 5 of the guys talk and get together. They call themselves the "what the hell were we thinking?" Club.


Quoting SMInProgress:

Wait, your BM is sleeping with her friend's husbands?? 3 different times?  WTH??? Wow, you guys can start your own support group :)


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured