I did the math...*EDIT: Dang!

[rocknmom85]

*Okay so I just did an online CS calculator for CA to see how much (about) I would have to pay if I was a NCP of 3 kids with my current income and the CP made a modest income, and it came to $2,700/month!! That's way too high in my opinion, that's half my income. Does this seem fair?

 

All the talk about CS made me think, how much do we technically spend on two kids per month? DH has physical custody of two of my skids and BM has physical custody of one, no CS is exchanged. Now, I realize this is subjective and totally varies depending on lifestyle and income, but we are fairly typical (I think) middle class (for California). I did NOT include any of the mortgage in this calculation because I think that's reaching a bit since if DH and I were childless we may have chosen to live in an expensive townhouse in the city instead a suburban family-friendly home. I did however calculate a share of the utilities (1/3) which seemed realistic and of course food, clothes, activities and everything else in a typical month. What I came up with is only $1000 per month for both kids. That includes food, extracurriculars, clothes, and everything else I could think of, so technically if BM were to pay CS $500 a month should cover half. That's why it seems odd to that so many seem to think even $800 or 900 a month won't even cover half of the expenses. Granted we don't pay anything at all for medical (military) and I am not including the really big stuff like braces or college or a car etc. But most the time those things are not necessities and if they are, the parents should split the cost. I know in our case when the kids have been gone for a month or so in the summer, DH and I had no problem spending just as much money as when the kids are here. We just adjusted are lifestyle from being a family of four to being a "childless" couple with lots more free time in our hands. Are kids really so incredibly expensive? If so, please explain. (Just a friendly conversation though, not trying to start a war ;)

[faerie75]

I'm with you. I think those that say "oh 1200 is nothing for two kids" are counting pricey extras in. Nothing wrong w that if they can afford those things but blue collar folk like us don't have our kids in that stuff. We can't afford it married and its not far for the CP to all of a sudden want that when she's now divorced and still can't afford it.

[runinpinkshoes]

That is really interesting and good to know! I don't have first hand experience about how much kids cost, but I've often wondered, because my husband pays his ex quite a lot of CS, and they share custody and all expenses. 

ETA: It really seems like he's supporting 2 households, even though his ex makes a decent living. I feel bad for him sometimes. 

[amanda_mom89]

I started to count it up for us and I got to $900 just for daycare and insurance. (For SD and DD)

But we're eliminating daycare to help with the budget.

BM is not ordered to pay support but so far has been excellent in helping provide for SD.

[happymommy1105]

Per.month for my 2 kids we only spend about $300.

However we outright own our home, don't have a water bill and we use cloth diapers and homemade wipes.

However my step daughter goes to a $20k + private school. Bf won't tell her mom that he can't afford it anymore either.....so....yeah

[baparrot2]

most people have daycare and lots of medicals where you do not.

[miapia1020]

I agree. Daycare is expensive, as are medical expenses. Also, I agree that things like cars are ”wants”, but if expenses like medical costs and dental (especially orthodontic treatment) are not written into the Co, they can add up fast.

Quoting baparrot2:

most people have daycare and lots of medicals where you do not.

[child_of_fire]

We make less than 1200 a month and DH is custodial. We recite no CS (though plenty was ordered). We just say no a lot. There's not much else to do. I teach part-time and hopefully I'll have a full time job soon-- but we were losing money at my last job because childcare was so expensive. I quit to stay home with DSD. Now I teach around her school schedule. It would be easier if we had CS, but we support a family of three on less than 1200 a month. (Not always pretty, but possible.)

[rocknmom85]

True, and in those cases I believe it should be spilt 50/50. So if medical costs and childcare is costing another$1500 a month, then each parent should pay $750 of that. But when those expenses no longer exist, the person paying CS shouldn't have to continue paying that amount unless there are new expenses, IMO

Quoting baparrot2:

most people have daycare and lots of medicals where you do not.

[chasinrainbows]

This really all depends on the lifestyle. I don't have small children requiring daycare, diapers, etc. I don't send mine to private school...I just choose to live in a pricier area with excellent public schools, still cheaper than private though.

We would NOT need all of these bedrooms if we didn't have 5 kids altogether so yeah...cost of housing counts. If you are military then your family receives BHA for housing on top of free medical which is in addition to several freebies. I am prior military so I know.

Where do people get that CS is supposed to cover HALF? I don't know of one state that calculates that way. It's generally calculated from a percentage of the NCP's income OR by using both parents income...which almost never equates HALF.

I won't argue that most people exaggerate how much it cost for daily living expenses because they do. BM on our case is one of the worst. She will email claiming to need "food on the table" but is an extremely frivolous spender. Her 3 kids called today and they all just got a phone...they are 13, 9, 9. Plus they have a house phone on top of her cell phone so not like they ALL needed cell phones. BM spends $100 a month on her nails, $400-600 on going out to eat, $300-400 clothes shopping for HER....but she needs "food on the table". Her brother bought the oldest child's school clothes and shoes because she is "broke". $6,000 a month...her salary + alimony and CS....and she is the poorest person I know, lol. Now that's ridiculous.

[rocknmom85]

Yes, daycare and insurance are two big things we don't have to pay for and I do believe those should be split 50/50 and separate from CS. But cs would not need to be so high then, depending on income income of course. Honestly, even the $1000 was rounding up for me, and my skids are definitely not deprived of anything.

Quoting amanda_mom89:

I started to count it up for us and I got to $900 just for daycare and insurance. (For SD and DD)



But we're eliminating daycare to help with the budget.



BM is not ordered to pay support but so far has been excellent in helping provide for SD.