Priorities...and when to tell DH "sorry, you're on your own."
Love my SDs. Great kids. Any challenges we have are largely normal kid challenges. BM and I get along well enough.
That said, we're trying to map out some trips. Normally, I handle organizing such things as I'm the one who has a more flexible schedule AND DH can sometimes be sent overseas with literally 24 hours notice.
My grandmother is dying. I've got at minimum two big trips away coming up. BM and I are trying to sort out the visitation so I can buy plane tickets.
On the one hand, I want to do what I can to support DH in having time with his kids. On more than one occasion in the last 8 mos, his work has made it such that he simply cannot do the P/U or D/O or even BE here for that matter. Or I am without a car while he visits. Kids and BM are fine w/ kids coming anyway if he's gone. But since you can't plan a day that Gma is going to pass and I need to get out and coordinate a funeral, I'm feeling more and more like I need to just tell DH that we can plan whatever but he needs to understand that I may or may not be available to help. So if he is going to get an assignment, he is going to have to cancel on the kids if I can't be here.
Does that seem fair? He took this job thinking I could help support everything.
Gma is my last living grandparent. There's a lot of family drama involved and I'm kind of the glue that is holding things together (my Gma's kids--my mother and my uncle--are not even on speaking terms). I have to stay involved in this process to do right by her. Love the kids but if I get a call that I'm needed out west, I'm going.
I've already made plans for the critters, I've got those bases covered. But when it comes to the kids, I feel badly about saying "sorry bubba, you're going to have to sort it out."
What say you?