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If the shoe fits

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 11:45 PM
  • 17 Replies

Guess I'm sharing a lot lately... 

Last weekend when DH brought SS home he was wearing the cutest new sneakers; I loved them. I blurted out that I didn't even know Nike made wide kids shoes- I kind of adore shopping. DH said yes, BM even mentioned it at pickup and said that the size had a "C" next to it to indicate they were wide. We usually have to buy all his shoes at Stride Rite because it is one of the few kids shoe stores with a wide variety (get it?) of wide shoes. 

So I was putting his shoes back on to go outside after nap time and I noticed that he grimaced and that they were oddly tight just below the toes. I mentioned it to DH; he decided to look it up. The "C" stands for child, as opposed to "Y" for youth when they are a little older. Nike only makes wide shoes for adults. 

At the next switch DH sent SS back in one of "our" pairs of shoes w BM's in a bag and explained that the new shoes weren't wide enough. BM didn't appreciate the heads up and told him to just not close them all the way... 

When we picked him up from school Monday he was wearing the tight shoes and "our" sneakers were in his cubby. DH plans on putting her shoes in the cubby tomorrow morning. I feel like that will lead to angry words, but I also think he's doing the proper thing. 

Is DH asking too much to want SS in shoes that fit properly? If she doesn't care, couldn't she just pretend and send him on switch days in "our" sneakers or even the sneakers she replaced these with (they're both the same size)? 

Am I just being overly sensitive this week bc the whole passport drama between her and DH is stressing me out? Usually I just let this sort of thing roll off with a, "we can only control what goes on in our house," shrug. I know this is a relatively small issue, but I feel like that makes it extra irksome. And his little feet are growing... 

by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 11:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lnr187
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:35 AM
1 mom liked this

 i think that shoes being too small is a big deal actually. we've had to provide many pairs of shoes for bm house because she kept putting ss in ones that were too small. i would just send the ones that fit and not put 'hers' in a bag. if she says anything, tell her they were too small and hurt his feet. how old is ss? has he told her they're too small?

Talis
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 6:31 AM

SD has come to our house in the same print shoe before in two different sizes, one of which was too small and multiple other pairs that were too small, falling apart, etc. Always the same thing, address the issue, let BM know and, bam SD comes back over with them on her feet. DH throws them in the trash and sends SD home in a new pair. They will last until they dont fit anymore, but after that point we never see them again because she "can't find them" when she buys SD a new pair. This year she went all out and bought SD a new pair of nikes. Now lets just hope she keeps up with it, but a lot of times she starts things she doesnt finish. Before too long she'll slump back into her laziness and the reminders will start again. Good luck with you and yours, but i think DH is doing the right thing.

Annawest
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:49 AM

I agree that it is irksome to want to make your child suffer for your point.  We deal with this at times too.  The kiddo coming with shoes that are two sizes too small and refusing to wear them, we just buy new (a pair for each household) and call it a day.  No point in the kiddo suffering.  I sure as hell don't wear shoes too small and hurt my feet and I wouldn't make the kids either.

aeELE
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:57 AM

He is 3 and not particularly verbal. 

Quoting lnr187:

 i think that shoes being too small is a big deal actually. we've had to provide many pairs of shoes for bm house because she kept putting ss in ones that were too small. i would just send the ones that fit and not put 'hers' in a bag. if she says anything, tell her they were too small and hurt his feet. how old is ss? has he told her they're too small?



MaceesMamma
by Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 9:22 AM

I know exactly how you feel. My SD has wide feet and its hard to find good shoes for her. I don't think that BM even has a good fitting pair for her since she refuses to even let us see her shoes so it always has to be our shoes. SD has very wide feet and if her shoes were too small it would hurt her.

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:01 AM

Fred Flintstone feet here!

I have to buy mens tennis shoes usually just to get a wide enough shoe.  The first women's shoe I've bought in over 10 years was my newest purchase of Merrel Pace Gloves.

Anyway...it sure can make a big difference having well fitting vs ill fitting shoes when it comes to development. My middle brother had a lot of issues w/ his feet as a kiddo. He had an orthopedist and we'd sit in the waiting room with lots of old people...and a 3YO.  LOL   I think it really IS a big deal.

If I were DH, I think I'd pursue this issue with BM.  Get a doctor involved perhaps?  Get a good fitting/sizing done?  SHOW her what the kiddo needs along with a list of places you can get such things?  I dunno.


jlg12678
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:05 AM

This would piss me off as a parent...doesn't matter if it was my son or my skids.

Kids need comfy shoes that fit. Kids with wide feet usually need to find shoes that accomodate that width. You can wreck your feet stuffing them in anything too tight or too small....and we are talking a kid here. If I as an adult want to wear something too tight that is my choice to make. Kids don't get that option.

I would make sure my kid had shoes that fit. Can you offer to buy a different pair or reimburse bm for her purchase? The ONLY reason I say this is that it doesn't sound like she is going to allow him to wear the shoes that fit him properly and maybe offering to pay her for the pair that he can't use would make her more open to the fact. Yes, I know that it's ridiculous that anyone would have to do this but you are clearly not dealing with a parent who is being rational right now. 

My sister had wide feet. I remember how sore her feet were prior to the doctor telling my mom to order special shoes for her... I think she was "D" width. I wouldn't wish that on any kid.

aeELE
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:26 AM
The weird part is that she knows! She has always bought him wide shoes in the past. When SS grew out of his shoes BM even recommended Stride Rite to DH, not realizing they'd already been replaced (from there). I have no clue what changed.

You can feel his little foot bulging out over the rubber sole, but maybe involving the pediatrician would be even more illustrative. I will pass the recommendation on to DH.


Quoting Birdseed:

Fred Flintstone feet here!

I have to buy mens tennis shoes usually just to get a wide enough shoe.  The first women's shoe I've bought in over 10 years was my newest purchase of Merrel Pace Gloves.

Anyway...it sure can make a big difference having well fitting vs ill fitting shoes when it comes to development. My middle brother had a lot of issues w/ his feet as a kiddo. He had an orthopedist and we'd sit in the waiting room with lots of old people...and a 3YO.  LOL   I think it really IS a big deal.

If I were DH, I think I'd pursue this issue with BM.  Get a doctor involved perhaps?  Get a good fitting/sizing done?  SHOW her what the kiddo needs along with a list of places you can get such things?  I dunno.



SMInProgress
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:28 AM

You're right. Shoes need to fit comfortably. If I had to wear shoes that didn't fit, I'd be in a grumpy mood the whole day. 

aeELE
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:33 AM
I agree that handing over whatever was paid for the shoes would be way better than having him suffer. It is not a bad idea at all. I'll mention it to DH if things do not go well when he gets out of school today.


Quoting jlg12678:

This would piss me off as a parent...doesn't matter if it was my son or my skids.


Kids need comfy shoes that fit. Kids with wide feet usually need to find shoes that accomodate that width. You can wreck your feet stuffing them in anything too tight or too small....and we are talking a kid here. If I as an adult want to wear something too tight that is my choice to make. Kids don't get that option.


I would make sure my kid had shoes that fit. Can you offer to buy a different pair or reimburse bm for her purchase? The ONLY reason I say this is that it doesn't sound like she is going to allow him to wear the shoes that fit him properly and maybe offering to pay her for the pair that he can't use would make her more open to the fact. Yes, I know that it's ridiculous that anyone would have to do this but you are clearly not dealing with a parent who is being rational right now. 

My sister had wide feet. I remember how sore her feet were prior to the doctor telling my mom to order special shoes for her... I think she was "D" width. I wouldn't wish that on any kid.


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