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Disrespectful stepchild

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:11 PM
  • 9 Replies
How do I deal with a disrespectful stepchild? I have been with his father for 10 years, as long as he can remember, and lately the child is never happy. He is with his mother 70 percent of the time, and I think he is a little jealous of my child. As she is here with us and gets to do sports, school activities etc.
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:11 PM
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Replies (1-9):
JacyB
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:13 PM
How old is he? What would moms jealousy have to do with his behavior? Why doesn't he get to do extracurriculars?
jules2boys
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:21 PM

I'm thinking he's a moody tween and it's not jealousy or even really anything to do with 'you'. 

JacyB, I think she means she thinks her SS is jealous of his half-sister because she doesn't live in two homes, but just his dad's home and he sees all she gets to do that he doesn't in the 30% of the time he's at BF/SMs home, but maybe I read it wrong?

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:28 PM

why doesn't your SS get to do sports? has he said he wants to do sports?

In my experience, some kids hate going back and forth. Maybe he wishes he didn't have to go back and forth. 

JacyB
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:45 PM
Ahh, you're right. I completely misread it and thought it said she was jealous. If he's jealous that's probably relevant. Please disregard that question, OP.

Quoting jules2boys:

I'm thinking he's a moody tween and it's not jealousy or even really anything to do with 'you'. 

JacyB, I think she means she thinks her SS is jealous of his half-sister because she doesn't live in two homes, but just his dad's home and he sees all she gets to do that he doesn't in the 30% of the time he's at BF/SMs home, but maybe I read it wrong?

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:53 PM

How old is the kiddo? Is it possible that he wants/needs more alone time with Dad?  Feels like he's missing out on activities because of the visitation?  You elude to the possibility that he's jealous of your DD because she gets to participate in activities.Does he want to and can'tfor some reason?  If so, is there anything your DH could do to help make that possible?

Further, when you say the child is "never happy", what do you mean?  What are you seeing? 

Michstepmom
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 9:14 PM
1 mom liked this
I've been told to go do my own thing and let them have their bonding time so the child doesn't feel threatened or like they are losing their parent.. It's a great time to focus on yourself and get away from the step mom stress!!!! Good luck!!
Sherylynn82
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:43 PM
Maybe it is just the tween thing as he is 11 and the sports thing is because his BM works later in the evening and can't take him to them. And any sport/activity he has done in the past I have been the one putting in all the effort, not his BM. He gets plenty of alone time with his father when he is at our house so I don't think it is that but who knows. Possibly it's just him growing up and being more hormonal. By him not being happy, he is always complaining about everything. He and I used to have a pretty good relationship, but lately things just seem different, like he can't stand me. Or possibly I'm looking to much into it and he is just growing up?
Nlvonblah
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 12:23 AM

Go carts.  Are there any go cart tracks close to your location?  Could DH get his son involved in Boy Scouts and take him to the meetings if BM cannot?   How far away does BM live from the two of you?  Maybe DH can take son to after school activities and BM can pick him up. I'm just offering suggestions for the little guy.  Boys at any age need to have lots of physical activity. 

SS is a tween.  All "tweens" have their quirks.  Good luck

I have a SS, 13 and a SD, 10.  Sometimes, no, most times their just friggin' weird.  Nah, I think they are at the age where they finally get what's really going on and that they are part of a blended family and they may not like it but that's just how it is.  We are all still adjusting and it's been 5 years, now.

DDDaysh
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:46 AM

Sounds pretty normal...  

Quoting Sherylynn82:

Maybe it is just the tween thing as he is 11 and the sports thing is because his BM works later in the evening and can't take him to them. And any sport/activity he has done in the past I have been the one putting in all the effort, not his BM. He gets plenty of alone time with his father when he is at our house so I don't think it is that but who knows. Possibly it's just him growing up and being more hormonal. By him not being happy, he is always complaining about everything. He and I used to have a pretty good relationship, but lately things just seem different, like he can't stand me. Or possibly I'm looking to much into it and he is just growing up?


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