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Who pays for the plane ticket?

Posted by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 4:10 AM
  • 114 Replies

I've spent the last 2 hours trying to figure out how to get the boys here for visitation with their dad. Flights on any of his days off that are weekends are over $600 a person, that's $1200 for both kids. Like most people, we can't afford that every month. A flight to get them here during Christmas holiday will be almost $800 per kid.  To get them here for spring break would be a little under $500 per kid. 

We can fly them into DFW for $300 per kid but then we have to drive the 6 hours to pick them up from the airport and the 6 hours back. Then drive it again 3 days later when their plane would take them back. The gas, alone, would likely be 2 full tanks which is about $120. Plus any pit stops that have to be made to eat.

None of the prices include taxes or fees for unaccompanied minors.

So, who should pay for all of this? BM is choosing to move this far away, so is it reasonable to say she should pay it? What does everyones CO say about it? DH's says nothing about LD as far as who pays what (that I could find) but in the close proximity part it says he is to pick them up and drop them off, thus paying for the gas.

It doesn't seem right that she can up and move and then stick us with the outrageous cost of transportation when DH already pays her so much in CS. She told DH she would pay for half of the plane tickets, but she has said she would pay for half of stuff before then didn't follow through. On top of that, we are unlikely to be able to afford half of it for the Christmas holiday and it's pushing it for us to be able to pay for half of it at any other time. We can figure it out, he needs to be able to see his kids ... but it just doesn't seem fair to put this burden on us, financially, when she is making the choice to move.

ETA: Looking into unoccompanied minor fees, it's another $100 per child to get them here. So even for Spring Break we are looking at $400 per kid if we fly them into DFW plus gas to get to them and get back.

by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 4:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 7:36 AM

It depends on what the CO/visitation order says.

Your whole situation is very fluid right now so I wouldn't panic until you guys speak to an attorney.  Sure, get the prices and all, but it's quite possible that A) BM is only going to FL temporarily  B) DH can get temporary full custody of the kids given they're just starting school again and BM is unemployed, may only be gone temporarily, etc  C) DH may get full custody full stop.

Generally speaking, I think that it's fair for the parent who moves away to be prepared to cover the majority of travel expenses. We moved 10 hours away.  We pay for the travel.  It's require that I have a PT job to help cover those additional expenses (or contribute to other expenses, whichever way you want to think about it).  The only thing we asked BM to pay for travel wise is for a summer visit to her which she elected not to take and for 1/2 of the travel for the summer which she did not pay. 

Without it in writing, it really comes down to whether or not parent A who doesn't have the kids wants to see hte kids.  You can't get blood from a turnip.

But rather than hand wringing at this point, I'd recommend that you guys get with an attorney...TODAY. 

DDDaysh
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:17 AM

There was another mom in here from TX that recently moved to Az.  

When they went through everything, it turns out both parents pay half.  

som610
by Bronze Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:20 AM

BM pays to fly SD here and we pay to fly her back.

May I ask where they live? Or what airport they fly into on her side?

isaiahsmomSATX
by New Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:22 AM
We are in TX and SD mom is in TN. She is responsible for picking her up in TX and DH is responsible for bringing her back. He has custody btw.
DDDaysh
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:26 AM
1 mom liked this

Maybe it would make more sense for him to fly to them to visit.  That's what a poster in another group's husband does except for summer and christmas visits.    

While I agree it doesn't seem fair, he COULD have gotten geographical restrictions put in the CO in the first place.  He didn't do this, so this was always an outstanding risk.  And, the situation DOES suck, but there aren't any GOOD solutions here.  You've just got to work with what you have.  

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:51 AM

I think he needs to get a new CO to specify these things.  I think she should do it since she's moving, but if he wants to see his kids it will end up being his responsibility.

Frustrated10
by Bronze Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 12:22 PM

Welcome to my world. My DH pays for all transportation. It is in their CO that they meet half way but he figures if he takes his child all the way home, when they drive it, he gets to be with her just that much longer. Sad. BM is the one who moved several states away out of her own embarassment and shame to remain in the local community.

One poster commented that it would be cheaper for your DH to travel to see his kids than to bring the kids to your house. That's a good idea and one that we just are beginning to do. SD comes here for the summer, spring break and every Christmas. He can see her in her state anytime he wants, so he is going to be flying there once a month for a weekend. Sometimes I'll go and most times I'll stay home, we have animals. Adolescent girls need their daddys now more than ever, so he has got to remain involved!

andie646c
by Silver Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 12:27 PM

He spoke with the attorney this morning. The attorney said there is nothing that can be done at this point, she has every right to pick up and leave. 

DH thinks BM isn't actually leaving at all. They swung by BM's house to pick up SS's cell phone yesterday and when they got there both BM and SF were acting as if nothing had happened and everything was fine. It is possible that this will be like the last three times she "left" and she will end up staying.

It will come down to us paying for the plane tickets, as BM is unlikely to have the money to pay half of it, much less all of it. I'll keep my fingers crossed but I surely am not holding my breath, lol.

Quoting Birdseed:

It depends on what the CO/visitation order says.

Your whole situation is very fluid right now so I wouldn't panic until you guys speak to an attorney.  Sure, get the prices and all, but it's quite possible that A) BM is only going to FL temporarily  B) DH can get temporary full custody of the kids given they're just starting school again and BM is unemployed, may only be gone temporarily, etc  C) DH may get full custody full stop.

Generally speaking, I think that it's fair for the parent who moves away to be prepared to cover the majority of travel expenses. We moved 10 hours away.  We pay for the travel.  It's require that I have a PT job to help cover those additional expenses (or contribute to other expenses, whichever way you want to think about it).  The only thing we asked BM to pay for travel wise is for a summer visit to her which she elected not to take and for 1/2 of the travel for the summer which she did not pay. 

Without it in writing, it really comes down to whether or not parent A who doesn't have the kids wants to see hte kids.  You can't get blood from a turnip.

But rather than hand wringing at this point, I'd recommend that you guys get with an attorney...TODAY. 



andie646c
by Silver Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 12:28 PM

Thanks, I need to go through his CO again, I couldn't find it last night but maybe I was just tired. There HAS to be something in there about it ... I can't imagine they would just leave that out. Then again, the attorney that drew it up wasn't all that great of an attorney so who knows.


Quoting DDDaysh:

There was another mom in here from TX that recently moved to Az.  

When they went through everything, it turns out both parents pay half.  



andie646c
by Silver Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 12:32 PM

They would be getting on a plane in Tampa (TPA) and flying into DFW. DH and I spoke last night and neither of us is comfortable with the boys having to catch a connecting flight so we will drive to DFW to pick them up.


Quoting som610:

BM pays to fly SD here and we pay to fly her back.

May I ask where they live? Or what airport they fly into on her side?



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