I feel that, generally, most parents want to wait before introducing their kids to their newest SO. It makes sense. You don’t want your kids to get attached to your fling. You don’t want them to feel like they’re going through another divorce, when you called it off with your rebound. But what do you do about introducing your (step)kids to the SO’s of other family members?
When I first met SS, he was three (to be honest, I did meet SS within the first two weeks). At the same time, BIL had started dating a girl from the next state over. BIL moved in with her and her daughter, and we visited with them when they came into town. The lived together for two years but it was full of fighting, calling off their engagements, and dramatic breakups. BIL couldn’t handle being ‘Dad’ to the daughter to one day and ‘she’s not your kid so you have no say’ the next. They ended up imploding and BIL moved back in with MIL & FIL.
In the year since he broke up with his ‘serious’ girlfriend, BIL has had a string of girlfriends. They are all young college girls, who just want to party (BIL is turning 29 in a month). Every couple of weeks, he has a new girlfriend. The problem is, he keeps trying to introduce them to SS.
He dated a girl for about six months (the only other long term girlfriend), and we all really liked her. She met SS right away. We walked in the door to visit MIL and FIL, and there she was. She had two horses and invited us out to her stables. She bought SS his t-ball bat and got him cowboy boots for his birthday. She worked with land conservation and SS was the face of her tree planting program. SS really liked her.
They are not together anymore. They broke up about two months ago, and in that time, BIL has had three other girlfriends. So far, SS hasn’t met any of them – but that’s not for lack of trying. The other day we were hanging out with MIL and FIL. SS was with BM. BIL walked through the door with his newest girlfriend (who none of us had met) and the first thing he asked was, “Where’s SS.” When we told him that SS was with BM, he turned to his girlfriend and said, “I guess you’ll have to meet him next time.”
DH and I feel like, no, we don’t want SS to meet BIL’s newest fling. SS has asked us about the last girlfriend a few times and was a little upset that she didn’t come over for the Fourth of July. We don’t feel that SS needs to meet BIL’s flavor of the week – especially when we haven’t even met the FOTW yet.
How would you handle that? Would you let your kids meet all of their Aunt/Uncle’s SO’s, or wait until Aunt/Uncle was with someone for x amount of time?