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I hate this.

Posted by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 5:32 PM
  • 41 Replies
There really isn't a reason why i should be upset. I am just the stepmom, but i can't help but feel a little left out.

Sd starts school tomorrow, kindergarden, and mil, sd's mom, and dh are going to bring her for her first day. Obviously this is something that i don't need to be a part of but i just feel like i do so much for sd and i have her alot. I want to see her go off to school for her first day but i can't. I wasn't invited and i know that i shouldn't be invited because it isn't my place.

I am sure some of you have been in this situation..did it make you feel like i do?
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 5:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
EMMA6984
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 5:34 PM

Did you ask your husband if you could go too? Where is the girls Mom? 

runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 5:41 PM
1 mom liked this

YES! There are tons of things DH has to do with BM that I don't get to go to, and it's always hard for me. I don't mind that I'm not going to his kid events, it just always makes me wish we had kids together and I could be the one sharing those experiences with him, not another woman. 

I think part of why it's so hard for me is because I don't have kids, so I admittedly tend to glamorize those events as something amazing and special that you share with someone you love. I know that's not how it is, but it sure would be nice to be able to stand rightfully at my husband's side during those experiences and not be the one that has to stay home.

Do you have kids?

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 5:42 PM

 nah not really, but i can empathize. SO took ss5 to his first day of kindegarten with BM. didnt bother me too much.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 5:44 PM

 i did used to feel this way. whats more, i did have two kids but their dad really didnt care to accompany me to these things either. i really wished id had that experience.

but, i now have a baby from SO and i stopped feeling jealous and left out over his shared parenting experiences with BM once i did.

Quoting runinpinkshoes:

YES! There are tons of things DH has to do with BM that I don't get to go to, and it's always hard for me. I don't mind that I'm not going to his kid events, it just always makes me wish we had kids together and I could be the one sharing those experiences with him, not another woman. 

I think part of why it's so hard for me is because I don't have kids, so I admittedly tend to glamorize those events as something amazing and special that you share with someone you love. I know that's not how it is, but it sure would be nice to be able to stand rightfully at my husband's side during those experiences and not be the one that has to stay home.

Do you have kids?

 

 
        
         

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 5:44 PM

why do you think  you shouldnt' be invited? Did you tell your husband that you want to go? 

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 5:48 PM

Normally I'd say that it should just be BM and BF going, but if MIL is going, why not you too?  I'm also curious if you told BF how  you felt and that  you wanted to go.  Maybe you could be there for pick up instead?  Just a thought. 

runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 5:51 PM
2 moms liked this


Well that gives me hope. :) I feel like it could be this way for me too, that the feelings would lessen if he and I were able to have kids together. 

Quoting faerie75:

 i did used to feel this way. whats more, i did have two kids but their dad really didnt care to accompany me to these things either. i really wished id had that experience.

but, i now have a baby from SO and i stopped feeling jealous and left out over his shared parenting experiences with BM once i did.

Quoting runinpinkshoes:

YES! There are tons of things DH has to do with BM that I don't get to go to, and it's always hard for me. I don't mind that I'm not going to his kid events, it just always makes me wish we had kids together and I could be the one sharing those experiences with him, not another woman. 

I think part of why it's so hard for me is because I don't have kids, so I admittedly tend to glamorize those events as something amazing and special that you share with someone you love. I know that's not how it is, but it sure would be nice to be able to stand rightfully at my husband's side during those experiences and not be the one that has to stay home.

Do you have kids?

 



Sept-babies2
by Ashley on Aug. 26, 2013 at 6:00 PM
Yes i do have kids. I have two. It still sucks and this is actually the first time dh has done something without me with her. I am always invited to other stuff and i think that maybe because i have my two kids he figured it would be best if i didn't go. My kids are 2 and just about 4 and maybe that is why i wasn't invited. I don't know, i just hope i get to go to some of the stuff for her school. It is special and i just hate not being able to be there.

Quoting runinpinkshoes:

YES! There are tons of things DH has to do with BM that I don't get to go to, and it's always hard for me. I don't mind that I'm not going to his kid events, it just always makes me wish we had kids together and I could be the one sharing those experiences with him, not another woman. 

I think part of why it's so hard for me is because I don't have kids, so I admittedly tend to glamorize those events as something amazing and special that you share with someone you love. I know that's not how it is, but it sure would be nice to be able to stand rightfully at my husband's side during those experiences and not be the one that has to stay home.

Do you have kids?

Sept-babies2
by Ashley on Aug. 26, 2013 at 6:04 PM
No i didn't. If he wanted me to go he would of invited me like he does with other stuff. I feel i shouldn't be invited anyways because i am stepmom. That is something mom and dad do and i just would feel weird asking and i know he would tell me it isn't a good idea. Plus he would bring up my two kids and how i should stay home with them instead.

Quoting whatIknownow:

why do you think  you shouldnt' be invited? Did you tell your husband that you want to go? 

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 6:07 PM


I don't understand why you would wait to be 'invited." Why not just tell him you want to go? This makes no sense to me.

if this is something "mom and dad" are doing, then why is MIL going?

Sorry but this seems sort of whiny to me. Just tell him you want to go. Bring your two kids too. what's the big deal?

Unless he thinks Mom doesn't want you there. I don't remember your sitch with her. If she doesnt' like you -- then yeah, it's not a good idea for you to go. 

Quoting Sept-babies2:

No i didn't. If he wanted me to go he would of invited me like he does with other stuff. I feel i shouldn't be invited anyways because i am stepmom. That is something mom and dad do and i just would feel weird asking and i know he would tell me it isn't a good idea. Plus he would bring up my two kids and how i should stay home with them instead.

Quoting whatIknownow:

why do you think  you shouldnt' be invited? Did you tell your husband that you want to go? 



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