Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

help for ss5 (today)

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 8:40 PM
  • 28 Replies
Ss5 behavior has been seriously declining the last few months. Now that school has started it has gotten worse...we have tried rewarding good behavior and punishing the bad...nothing seems to work at all. Dh is at a loss and quite frankly i am as well. We've tried timeouts to taking away favorite toys to dh swatting his behind. Does aanyone have a suggestion as to another method that has worked for them?
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 8:40 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
EricaHowell
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 8:47 PM
What is he struggling with?
bertaboo1
by Bronze Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 9:04 PM
The biggest ordeal is school. He disrespects the teacher...refuses to do work...today he was put in timout for continuing to play during storytime and he walked out out timeout before he was allowed. Notes come home every day.

I asked him why he won't listen to the teacher and he said today because batman told him that he would make bugs get in his head and red stuff will come out? I...i was at a loss on that one...


Quoting EricaHowell:

What is he struggling with?

EricaHowell
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 9:06 PM


Does he behave at home? Was there any change at home when the change in behavior started?

Quoting bertaboo1:

The biggest ordeal is school. He disrespects the teacher...refuses to do work...today he was put in timout for continuing to play during storytime and he walked out out timeout before he was allowed. Notes come home every day.

I asked him why he won't listen to the teacher and he said today because batman told him that he would make bugs get in his head and red stuff will come out? I...i was at a loss on that one...


Quoting EricaHowell:

What is he struggling with?



bertaboo1
by Bronze Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 9:13 PM
Not with our home. Bm has gone through a few changes. ..well a lot of changes...but there is nothing dh can do about that. Nor can he seem to be able to communicate about ss behavior to her. That street is a dead end. Ive gone so far as ti record supernanny as of late...but even her techniques arent working lol


Quoting EricaHowell:


Does he behave at home? Was there any change at home when the change in behavior started?


Quoting bertaboo1:

The biggest ordeal is school. He disrespects the teacher...refuses to do work...today he was put in timout for continuing to play during storytime and he walked out out timeout before he was allowed. Notes come home every day.



I asked him why he won't listen to the teacher and he said today because batman told him that he would make bugs get in his head and red stuff will come out? I...i was at a loss on that one...





Quoting EricaHowell:

What is he struggling with?






SMInProgress
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 10:37 PM

Supernanny is great but only will work when mom & dad live in the same house.  It's great to get pointers for one home but you'll need to enforce the same techniques in both homes for you.  Maybe catch him off gaurd when he's in a good mood & ask him about how his class & his teacher is doing? Start there first till he starts to open up to you.

Quoting bertaboo1:

Not with our home. Bm has gone through a few changes. ..well a lot of changes...but there is nothing dh can do about that. Nor can he seem to be able to communicate about ss behavior to her. That street is a dead end. Ive gone so far as ti record supernanny as of late...but even her techniques arent working lol


Quoting EricaHowell:


Does he behave at home? Was there any change at home when the change in behavior started?

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:39 PM

I'd say stop punishing the bad behavior. I know, it sounds insane, but with some kids, any attention is good attention.

Focus on the good. Catch him being good. Reward the good behavior and ignore the bad behavior. Walk away.

I'd also make an appointment with his pediatrician and ask for information about a referral for behavior modification therapy. 

EricaHowell
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:58 PM
Yes, agreed on this. OP- if bm has a bunch of changes going on, maybe something happened that really upset your ss?

Does he ever talk to you or dh about his feelings about things going on? I know with my little guy, just asking him his feelings about something, really listening and reassuring goes a long way when he is acting out...

I know they don't have the best attention span at this age so I try to play legos or something when asking. Put him in his comfort zone for the conversation.


Quoting SMInProgress:

Supernanny is great but only will work when mom & dad live in the same house.  It's great to get pointers for one home but you'll need to enforce the same techniques in both homes for you.  Maybe catch him off gaurd when he's in a good mood & ask him about how his class & his teacher is doing? Start there first till he starts to open up to you.

Quoting bertaboo1:

Not with our home. Bm has gone through a few changes. ..well a lot of changes...but there is nothing dh can do about that. Nor can he seem to be able to communicate about ss behavior to her. That street is a dead end. Ive gone so far as ti record supernanny as of late...but even her techniques arent working lol





Quoting EricaHowell:


Does he behave at home? Was there any change at home when the change in behavior started?


bertaboo1
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 5:48 AM
That almost sounds like he doesn't get enough attention. ..which is not the case at all...lol..

What happens with that kind of therapy with one so young? Mil and i both said for years he may need a therapist. ..but all i can research about it is talking about your feelings and dh thinks he may be too young to get any sense out of him as far as that.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:I'd say stop punishing the bad behavior. I know, it sounds insane, but with some kids, any attention is good attention.Focus on the good. Catch him being good. Reward the good behavior and ignore the bad behavior. Walk away.I'd also make an appointment with his pediatrician and ask for information about a referral for behavior modification therapy. 
bertaboo1
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 6:05 AM
We chat all the time about things. Even if im horrified withe the conversation i try to spin it pleasant and reassuring. It's hard but i do it 99.9% off the time.

He can be the best kid ever...and with a blink...turn into the demon seed! Lol...honestly its sad. I know there are crazy things that happen at bms....but we can't change that. Dh tried talking with her about things that were said by him...or school...and it's like talking to a brick wall...shes gonna do what she is gonna do...i just worry about the impact on ss


Quoting EricaHowell:

Yes, agreed on this. OP- if bm has a bunch of changes going on, maybe something happened that really upset your ss?



Does he ever talk to you or dh about his feelings about things going on? I know with my little guy, just asking him his feelings about something, really listening and reassuring goes a long way when he is acting out...



I know they don't have the best attention span at this age so I try to play legos or something when asking. Put him in his comfort zone for the conversation.




Quoting SMInProgress:

Supernanny is great but only will work when mom & dad live in the same house.  It's great to get pointers for one home but you'll need to enforce the same techniques in both homes for you.  Maybe catch him off gaurd when he's in a good mood & ask him about how his class & his teacher is doing? Start there first till he starts to open up to you.

Quoting bertaboo1:

Not with our home. Bm has gone through a few changes. ..well a lot of changes...but there is nothing dh can do about that. Nor can he seem to be able to communicate about ss behavior to her. That street is a dead end. Ive gone so far as ti record supernanny as of late...but even her techniques arent working lol








Quoting EricaHowell:


Does he behave at home? Was there any change at home when the change in behavior started?



chanizen
by Platinum Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 7:31 AM
I agree with this.

I would pretty much tell him that the batman thing isn't happening with other kids and it will not happen with him either.

In order to respond to discipline, first there has to be a relationship. With the teacher, with dad, with you. Otherwise punishments just become a way of life.

Look for ways to buffer the relationship and coach him on the benefits to him of getting things done. Natural consequences are ok, but I would look for goals and little successes. Things like "get only one behavior mark for the day" or "no trips to the principal this week". And make a big deal if he makes the goal.

And a behavior plan and eval is definitely in need.::


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

I'd say stop punishing the bad behavior. I know, it sounds insane, but with some kids, any attention is good attention.

Focus on the good. Catch him being good. Reward the good behavior and ignore the bad behavior. Walk away.

I'd also make an appointment with his pediatrician and ask for information about a referral for behavior modification therapy. 


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured