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Staying Together

Posted by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 12:32 AM
  • 9 Replies

Hi:

I have recently heard several people in our community say that my fiance's ex is trying to get us to break up.  The bio dad of her daughter recently got remarried, and she wants to keep her son's father from getting remarried as well.  This doesn't surprise me, since she has been saying for years she can get back with my fiance any time she wants.  I am not really concerned about her and her "desires" because he has shown zero interest in getting back together with her.  What I am concerned about, however, is that she is now using her son to try to get us to break up.  I think this is very unhealthy for him on many levels.  His parents have been separated for over 10 years and divorced for seven years.  I am wondering if it is normal for him to try to help his mom to get his dad and I to break up, especially after his parents have been separated for so long?  He is almost 15-years-old and his parents were only married 2 years.

by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 12:32 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Seychelles1409
by Gold Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 1:04 AM
1 mom liked this

Normal?   The situation is not normal and the BM is showing very poor judgment, but it it perfectly normal that her son would do as his mother has asked.   The boy loves his mother and she has likely filled his head with all kinds of ideas.   At 15, he is still a child in many ways.   The best thing to do is have your fiance' talk with his son and also have a long (probably heated) conversation with his ex-wife.   I might even consult the attorney on this as what the BM is doing is detrimental to the child's emotional health in the long run.

paulswifey11
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 1:36 AM
This is perfect

Quoting Seychelles1409:

Normal?   The situation is not normal and the BM is showing very poor judgment, but it it perfectly normal that her son would do as his mother has asked.   The boy loves his mother and she has likely filled his head with all kinds of ideas.   At 15, he is still a child in many ways.   The best thing to do is have your fiance' talk with his son and also have a long (probably heated) conversation with his ex-wife.   I might even consult the attorney on this as what the BM is doing is detrimental to the child's emotional health in the long run.

amonkeymom
by Amy on Sep. 1, 2013 at 8:54 AM

I agree with this.

Quoting Seychelles1409:

Normal?   The situation is not normal and the BM is showing very poor judgment, but it it perfectly normal that her son would do as his mother has asked.   The boy loves his mother and she has likely filled his head with all kinds of ideas.   At 15, he is still a child in many ways.   The best thing to do is have your fiance' talk with his son and also have a long (probably heated) conversation with his ex-wife.   I might even consult the attorney on this as what the BM is doing is detrimental to the child's emotional health in the long run.


SMInProgress
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 2:15 PM

Agree, perfect advice.

BM got her oldest son (skid's older brother) to try to do this. He tried every trick in the book. Good luck OP.

Quoting Seychelles1409:

Normal?   The situation is not normal and the BM is showing very poor judgment, but it it perfectly normal that her son would do as his mother has asked.   The boy loves his mother and she has likely filled his head with all kinds of ideas.   At 15, he is still a child in many ways.   The best thing to do is have your fiance' talk with his son and also have a long (probably heated) conversation with his ex-wife.   I might even consult the attorney on this as what the BM is doing is detrimental to the child's emotional health in the long run.


iSMILEheCRIES
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 10:52 PM
Yep, what ^^they^^ said. BM is feeding "happily ever after," who doesn't want a bite of that?
CampClan
by Bronze Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 12:29 AM

IMO a 15yo should know better. I get that they may want their mom & dad to be together (heck- I know my kids still want me to be with their dad). But they should not be in the middle of this.

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 12:59 AM


Of course she did.

Quoting SMInProgress:

Agree, perfect advice.

BM got her oldest son (skid's older brother) to try to do this. He tried every trick in the book. Good luck OP.

Quoting Seychelles1409:

Normal?   The situation is not normal and the BM is showing very poor judgment, but it it perfectly normal that her son would do as his mother has asked.   The boy loves his mother and she has likely filled his head with all kinds of ideas.   At 15, he is still a child in many ways.   The best thing to do is have your fiance' talk with his son and also have a long (probably heated) conversation with his ex-wife.   I might even consult the attorney on this as what the BM is doing is detrimental to the child's emotional health in the long run.




pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 12:59 AM

What is SS15 doing that makes you think he is trying to break up you and his dad?

chanizen
by Platinum Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:36 AM

I think dad needs to havethe "we are never ever ever getting back together". Talk with bm.  And let ss know as well.  That it is right and ok for people to move on.

What exactly is ss king to try to break you up?

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