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Help, holiday schedule drama...

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:18 AM
  • 24 Replies
Short version is that Dh and bm worked out their own schedule for holidays in the past. Last thanksgiving bm decided she no longer wanted to share holidays and work out an agreement different from state guidelines.

Well, ncp (bm) gets Labor Day and thanksgiving in odd years.
Cp (dh) gets Halloween and Christmas.

We have not observed Labor Day as a holiday that falls under the holiday schedule in the past. However, this year bm has decided she WILL get Labor Day. Does that mean we now default to Halloween and Christmas for the second year? And does she have an argument to come back and throw a fit in a couple months when she figures out that she just changed the holiday schedule for the rest of the year?


I also posted this in MC hoping I may get more responses, but it's pretty dead this morning
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommy0505
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:33 AM
If its CO then just follow the order. If she doesn't like it then she can petition the courts.

Maybe make her aware of the consequences and see if she thinks differently...
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SMInProgress
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:45 AM

Your BM will try to use this for that reason you're questioning. But highly doubt she can take away your holidays. Best thing to do is document & list all the years she's never taken Labor Day & does your CO give a time frame for notification? Ours has a certain amount of days before the holiday for her to arrange or she loses them, which she never requested so we had the skids for every holiday.

dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:48 AM
She likes instant gratification. And now that she's ncp, she doesn't get that as often...

Dh tried to tell her, but she was more concerned with making sure ss is in the parade with her than something 3 months away. And the real kicker is that the parade starts in 10 minutes and she's never showed up to get ss....


Quoting Mommy0505:

If its CO then just follow the order. If she doesn't like it then she can petition the courts.



Maybe make her aware of the consequences and see if she thinks differently...
dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 10:41 AM
They're supposed to get anything that involves exchanging days written up two weeks prior.

For now, they're sticking to the holiday schedule- since this year Labor Day is the ncp's holiday.

But, like you said, it'll be a fight when she realizes cp gets Halloween and Christmas.


Quoting SMInProgress:

Your BM will try to use this for that reason you're questioning. But highly doubt she can take away your holidays. Best thing to do is document & list all the years she's never taken Labor Day & does your CO give a time frame for notification? Ours has a certain amount of days before the holiday for her to arrange or she loses them, which she never requested so we had the skids for every holiday.

Leigh84
by Gold Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 11:09 AM
I would take it to mean she has Labor Day and Thanksgiving this year and you guys still get Halloween and Christmas
dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 11:11 AM
What I'm wondering is if she has a leg to stand on when she throws a fit next month when she figures it out.

In other news, it's 10 am, the parade she wanted to take ss to started at 9 (thats why she was so worried about getting ss- so he could be in the parade with her) and she still hasn't picked him up.


Quoting Leigh84:

I would take it to mean she has Labor Day and Thanksgiving this year and you guys still get Halloween and Christmas
Leigh84
by Gold Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 11:14 AM
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Probably not if the co states it's your DH's year to have those holidays


Quoting dawnnamarie:

What I'm wondering is if she has a leg to stand on when she throws a fit next month when she figures it out.



In other news, it's 10 am, the parade she wanted to take ss to started at 9 (thats why she was so worried about getting ss- so he could be in the parade with her) and she still hasn't picked him up.




Quoting Leigh84:

I would take it to mean she has Labor Day and Thanksgiving this year and you guys still get Halloween and Christmas

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 12:37 PM

For the sake of your's and DH's sanity, I'd just go with her having Labor Day and Thanksgiving and DH having Halloween and Christmas.

I always find it amusing how so many holidays are included with CO's. The judge who wrote up DH's original CO said he refused to allow any holidays in the CO other than Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother's day, and Father's day. He said all of the other holidays fall where they land. It works well, because there's never any fights about holidays. 

dawnnamarie
by Silver Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 12:58 PM
It really is!!! And the things that we wish were included aren't.

Dh is a veteran, he would love to have ss here every Veterans Day. But that one isn't included. Yet Labor Day becomes a huge fight... It's so dumb


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

For the sake of your's and DH's sanity, I'd just go with her having Labor Day and Thanksgiving and DH having Halloween and Christmas.

I always find it amusing how so many holidays are included with CO's. The judge who wrote up DH's original CO said he refused to allow any holidays in the CO other than Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother's day, and Father's day. He said all of the other holidays fall where they land. It works well, because there's never any fights about holidays. 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 1:19 PM

We celebrate Veteran's day (and the Marine Corps birthday, LOL). Now that DH is CP is makes it much easier to celebrate those. My dad is a Veteran, and a Marine.

I understand why they would feel the need to include so many holidays, because not all parents can figure out how to work together properly. 


Quoting dawnnamarie:

It really is!!! And the things that we wish were included aren't.

Dh is a veteran, he would love to have ss here every Veterans Day. But that one isn't included. Yet Labor Day becomes a huge fight... It's so dumb


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

For the sake of your's and DH's sanity, I'd just go with her having Labor Day and Thanksgiving and DH having Halloween and Christmas.

I always find it amusing how so many holidays are included with CO's. The judge who wrote up DH's original CO said he refused to allow any holidays in the CO other than Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother's day, and Father's day. He said all of the other holidays fall where they land. It works well, because there's never any fights about holidays. 



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