That's what DH did today. Today was SD's (and my kids') first day of the school year. My ex-h and I planned to meet at the school to walk the kids to their classrooms and snap pics and such. It went really well, ex-h went in to work at 1 1/2 hours later than usual so that he could be there.
DH called BM last night to let her know that he planned on making the 4 hour round trip to meet them at the school and see SD off for her first day of school at her big new school (he also went to her first day of school last year when she lived closer). BM told him along the lines of "no, don't bother coming. I'm not going to get her there until the last minute so she wont have time to see you and I wont even be getting out of the car. There are no parking spots so I just will be dropping her off and she'll go in." He said "well... I think it's important for her to know that I want to be there for important days like this for her and that I'm not going to let the long drive get in the way being there." BM started to get irritated and told him that No he doesn't need to come and that mornings are too busy for him to be wanting to call or visit with SD. He just told her that he would think about it. He got off the phone and talked with me about it and I told him I thought she was bluffing in order to un-involve him but that I would support whatever he decided to do.
He decided to go despite what she said but he didn't tell her because he figured based on past experience that she would just try to make it harder on him if she knew, and he had already let her know of his intention anyway. (He didn't tell her WASN'T going either, just so no one thinks he lied to her. After he said he would think on it and they ended the phone call, neither one of them attempted to contact the other). So he got up at 5 this morning to go and he saw BM's car when he pulled into the parking lot 20 MINUTES before school started. As he was walking to the office to check in he saw BM walking SD to her classroom (they didn't see him). He got some papers that he wanted (a student handbook, SD's student ID#, and picture order form) from the office and then went down to the 2nd grade hallway where he could hear BM in the classroom talking to the teacher. He went to the bathroom and when he came out he went in the classroom and BM was gone and SD was the only kid in the classroom with the teacher. She didn't see him at first so he went next to her ad knelt down and she turned around and saw him and smiled big and said "daddy!!!!" She was so excited to see him :) He gave her hugs and kisses and wished her good luck on her first day of school and he took some pictures of her. Since I couldn't be there I wrote her a little letter and sent her a flower. He gave her the flower and read her the letter I wrote her and he said she loved both of them. The teacher knows that we live 2 hours away and she said to DH "did you drive 2 hours to come here for her first day of school?!" and DH told her yes he did and she said "That's SO awesome!"
He's so happy he went. The happiness and excitement on her face, and being able to be there on a special day, and the pictures he got were well worth the tank of gas and the time spent on the road for him :)
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt