My DH and I have 2 DDs together (4 and 1), married 3 years. My "skids" are 2 ss- age 13 & 10 and lovely little sd age 8. I feel like we have every problem listed here. Our visitation schedule doesn't work for us. The kids have activities that we are expected to bring them to- sometimes hours from our home, during times we are supposed to be at work. We are never consulted, just handed a schedule. Many times this results in countless texts/emails from bm berating my dh, saying he is a terrible person and dad, etc. Just because he has to work and can't drive somewhere. He has no sick or vacation, just hourly. My DH pays more than the maximum child support, and now bm is coming after us for more health care payments etc. His checking account balance is negative most weeks paying for bm and her family to go on carribbean vacations, sports trips and get name brand clothes for the 3 oldest while my parents pay for everything for our 2 youngest. He doesn't want to make things worse by taking her back to court to adjust for his current salary. He thinks she will do more to poison the kids against him. And again, if we can't afford to do something with them like take them for a week's vacation, the bm uses that as an opp to tell DH that he is a terrible dad and that they hate him because we don't do fun things. We want to be very involved but often feel so unwelcome by bm. It can be very hard. How can we start to fix this? I'm scared we might lose our home if we don't adjust support, but I don't want to rock the boat more than it already is. I also want the relationship with her to be better, but the two of them seriously hate each other. Should I reach out on my own?