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filing for full custody

Posted by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 6:34 PM
  • 18 Replies
So we're wanting a court order so the kids won't be snatched abruptly and bm will have to pay cs. We've had them 88% of the time. What are the chances of us getting it? Do not want this to go poorly.
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 6:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 6:55 PM

need more info. Your DH is filing for primary custody? On the basis of what change in circumstance?

What does the current CO say?

livingrlovesong
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 6:56 PM
It depends. We are fighting for full custody right now, court on Tues. But we also have proof of child abuse and BM could still be facing criminal charges.

What is your circumstances?
Fullhouse1168
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:05 PM
No current court order we have had the kids full time for 5 years straight all documented we do the doctors visits as well as the school With everything on record. She has just been making threats as to cause world war 3 and we don't want her to be able to yank the children out of their Schools without notice Or our home. Everything for the past 5 years has been documented. Most years she has average between 8 and 12 percent of the time.
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:19 PM
3 moms liked this


I would definitely file for primary custody. Not full custody, necessarily. But definitely primary. With child support of course.

Quoting Fullhouse1168:

No current court order we have had the kids full time for 5 years straight all documented we do the doctors visits as well as the school With everything on record. She has just been making threats as to cause world war 3 and we don't want her to be able to yank the children out of their Schools without notice Or our home. Everything for the past 5 years has been documented. Most years she has average between 8 and 12 percent of the time.



PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with whatiknownow. Primary custody is probably the way to go.

Full custody would mean you have to prove abuse, zero communication, or the like.

Most NCPs still get joint legal.
terpmama
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:46 PM
1 mom liked this

i would also stipulate that she can't cross state lines without written consent from biodad (though it may be ordered both ways so talk to a lawyer so you don't shoot yourself in the foot). Think of any other scenario she might try to pull and try to get EVERYTHING in the CO so you aren't back and forth to court.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 8:54 PM


why can't she cross state lines? That seems unnecessarily restrictive (I guess depending on how big the state is). I would think there would have to be a good reason to disallow crossing state lines, I can't really think of a good reason.

Quoting terpmama:

i would also stipulate that she can't cross state lines without written consent from biodad (though it may be ordered both ways so talk to a lawyer so you don't shoot yourself in the foot). Think of any other scenario she might try to pull and try to get EVERYTHING in the CO so you aren't back and forth to court.



terpmama
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 8:57 PM
Sounds like they were concerned BM would "snatch" the kids and not give them back... Crossing state lines makes enforcing custody much harder as the dates start a pissing contest. Some states are notoriously pro BM or anti BD so snatching the kids and going to one of those states would make getting the kids back much more time consuming and expensive (traveling to and from for court and whatnot). Keeping it in state makes it a bit easier to enforce if BM does grab an run.


Quoting whatIknownow:


why can't she cross state lines? That seems unnecessarily restrictive (I guess depending on how big the state is). I would think there would have to be a good reason to disallow crossing state lines, I can't really think of a good reason.


Quoting terpmama:

i would also stipulate that she can't cross state lines without written consent from biodad (though it may be ordered both ways so talk to a lawyer so you don't shoot yourself in the foot). Think of any other scenario she might try to pull and try to get EVERYTHING in the CO so you aren't back and forth to court.





whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:23 PM

If she wanted to kidnap the kids, a co prohibiting her from crossing the state line wouldn't stop her.

I think it's highly unlikely a judge would prohibit her from going across the state line, and of course it would have to apply to both parties.

And, there would be plenty of time between the filing, and the court date, when she would be able to move out of state, if that was her intention.

I think it's better to focus on a real motion, with a realistic plan that has a shot of getting approved, and doesn't destroy the co-parenting relationship in the process.



Quoting terpmama:

Sounds like they were concerned BM would "snatch" the kids and not give them back... Crossing state lines makes enforcing custody much harder as the dates start a pissing contest. Some states are notoriously pro BM or anti BD so snatching the kids and going to one of those states would make getting the kids back much more time consuming and expensive (traveling to and from for court and whatnot). Keeping it in state makes it a bit easier to enforce if BM does grab an run.


Quoting whatIknownow:


why can't she cross state lines? That seems unnecessarily restrictive (I guess depending on how big the state is). I would think there would have to be a good reason to disallow crossing state lines, I can't really think of a good reason.


Quoting terpmama:

i would also stipulate that she can't cross state lines without written consent from biodad (though it may be ordered both ways so talk to a lawyer so you don't shoot yourself in the foot). Think of any other scenario she might try to pull and try to get EVERYTHING in the CO so you aren't back and forth to court.







bcauseimthemom
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:27 PM

Have you been documenting everything?  Do you have proof of the time you have had them?  Has BM been not showing up for her scheduled time and dumping the kids on you guys?? Do you have proof??  Documentation is key.  A good attorney doesn't hurt either.

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