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Am I out of line for asking....

Posted by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:07 PM
  • 77 Replies

My son (7) starts karate on Friday.  

On Wednesdays, parents are allowed to practice with the kids for the class time.  It's free, there is no extra charge. 

Wednesdays is the day that SD and her dad have dinner together then he takes her home. 

In the 9 months since our son has been born, I have been away from him for a grand total of 12 HOURS, 7 of which was so I could have surgery.  

I never get to do anything with my older son, just the two of us.  

He took SD out, just the two of them for her birthday a couple of weeks ago, plus every Wednesday, plus every other weekend during travel times.  In other words, they get alot of time just the two of them. 

I asked if he would take our son every other Wednesday to dinner with SD while I go have karate with my older son.  Then every other week, I could do karate with him and we would get alone time with our older children. 

He acts like I asked him to never see his daughter again......

Was I out of line? 

by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
livingrlovesong
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:09 PM
1 mom liked this
No, I don't think you were. Just explain it to him like you did on here.
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:15 PM

No, that sounds reasonable to me.

happymommy1105
by Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:15 PM

I did.  thats when he flipped like.

Quoting livingrlovesong:

No, I don't think you were. Just explain it to him like you did on here.


pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:18 PM

What is your relationship like with SD?  I'm just trying to figure out the dynamic, not laying blame.  How long has he been having his Wednesday dinners?

Eyelashes23
by Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:20 PM
No you aren't wrong
happymommy1105
by Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:23 PM

I don't have a relationship with SD.  I mean in all honestly we barely speak to each other.  

He has been having them with her since she was 2, she is now 11.  But they often get changed to other nights due to BM needing him to change the days......so it's not like it's every Wednesday like clockwork, they are just supposed to be Wednesday. Does that make sense? 

Quoting pdxmum:

What is your relationship like with SD?  I'm just trying to figure out the dynamic, not laying blame.  How long has he been having his Wednesday dinners?


pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this


I went and read your other post about SD telling your son stuff about death.  It really doesn't sound like things are all that great on the home front.  And it sounds like these dinners are a long tradition and that he doesn't really get to see her any other time.

While you are not out of line, it is his son too, I would probably hire a babysitter for a few hours every other week.  It would be good for everyone.  Actually, I would hire a sitter every wednesday.  It would be healthy for you to spend special time with your older son just like DH spends with his daughter.  I would not push this right now especially just after you decide to disegage from SD and your son is born.

Quoting happymommy1105:

I don't have a relationship with SD.  I mean in all honestly we barely speak to each other.  

He has been having them with her since she was 2, she is now 11.  But they often get changed to other nights due to BM needing him to change the days......so it's not like it's every Wednesday like clockwork, they are just supposed to be Wednesday. Does that make sense? 

Quoting pdxmum:

What is your relationship like with SD?  I'm just trying to figure out the dynamic, not laying blame.  How long has he been having his Wednesday dinners?




packermomof2
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:31 PM

You want him to not have dinner alone with his daughter so you can do something alone with your son?  

terpmama
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:36 PM

makes sense to me but if he really digs his heels in then I would suggest a mom and son date night on sundays, or thursdays or some other day. I can sorta understand not wanting to jack with the daddy daughter dates, but flipping is never good.

ramita
by Silver Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 7:38 PM
From reading everything so far, I think that he was in the wrong for not being willing to take yalls son every other Wednesday so you could spend time with your son. However if he's being this much of an ass about it just look into hiring a babysitter for that time, or finding a family member or friend who'll do it (if you could do this you could do an exchange of some kind like you watch my lid I'll watch yours or clean house, etc). I'm sorry he's being an ass about it...
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