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SS will not sleep without..

Posted by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:07 PM
  • 27 Replies

My step son has a hard time sleeping over when it's my DH's visitation time. He cries that he wants his mother. She sleeps with him at night and it makes it very difficult when he stays over for him to fall asleep.

My DH sleeps lays with him till he falls asleep but before bed SS still cries bloody murder that he wants his mother.

BM states his psychologist told her that it is fine that she sleeps with him and that there is no reason for her to stop what she is doing makes it harder when he stays over our house.

Can anyone relate or have any ideas on what we can do to help my SS sleep better?

by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lnr187
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:10 PM

 can dad talk to the psychologist? can he explain his concerns and that, in this case, it actually is hurting ss? that's not fair to ss or dad.

does dad not want to sleep with him? we don't sleep with ss so that's not judgment, im just curious.

LoveMySS
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:12 PM

BM is supose to release all information to DH of Dr's and health history but she refrains of giving any information out claiming that DH doesn't  "deserve" to know. It's been a battle since day one. Doing our best.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:12 PM

Maybe it would be better for your DH to have more frequent day time visitations, and not overnights?

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:15 PM

Research bedtime routines appropriate to his age.  Implement a bedtime routine in your household. Acknowledge that your SS misses his mother, perhaps focus on something fun you all did and do a related craft that he can give her as a present.  Your SS will adjust to an age appropriate bedtime routine at your home.  Of course he cries bloody murder right now, he wants someone to stay with him while he sleeps, and this method works; DH goes in with him.  This is not really a BM issues.  You can take control of this situation, stop blaming BM, establish a routine and stick to it.

LoveMySS
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:18 PM


The routine we have had for over a year and the outcome hasen't changed. BM has asked we put him to bed at the same time she does which we do to keep consitatncy. We do everything the exact same as she would execpt the fact that she is not there and DH is. I honesty think it is a BM issue since the only thing that is the issue is her sleeping with him in bed and him wanting her there during bedtime.


Quoting LyndaLoo78:

Research bedtime routines appropriate to his age.  Implement a bedtime routine in your household. Acknowledge that your SS misses his mother, perhaps focus on something fun you all did and do a related craft that he can give her as a present.  Your SS will adjust to an age appropriate bedtime routine at your home.  Of course he cries bloody murder right now, he wants someone to stay with him while he sleeps, and this method works; DH goes in with him.  This is not really a BM issues.  You can take control of this situation, stop blaming BM, establish a routine and stick to it.



LoveMySS
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:23 PM

We have 2 days a week visitation which is during work hours (Work from home) and eow 2 days a week he sleeps over. The schedule we have now is the only one that works for both parties.


Quoting whatIknownow:

Maybe it would be better for your DH to have more frequent day time visitations, and not overnights?



LoveMySS
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:23 PM

Oh no, He would'nt mind except SS sleeps like a rino. He tosses and turns, flailing his arms and legs around and snores so it keeps him up at night. We just got bunk beds to help with that issue but SS still wants DH to sleep with him in HIS bed or not at all and wants mommy.


Quoting lnr187:

 can dad talk to the psychologist? can he explain his concerns and that, in this case, it actually is hurting ss? that's not fair to ss or dad.

does dad not want to sleep with him? we don't sleep with ss so that's not judgment, im just curious.



LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:25 PM

Clearly, your routine is NOT working.

Quoting LoveMySS:


The routine we have had for over a year and the outcome hasen't changed. BM has asked we put him to bed at the same time she does which we do to keep consitatncy. We do everything the exact same as she would execpt the fact that she is not there and DH is. I honesty think it is a BM issue since the only thing that is the issue is her sleeping with him in bed and him wanting her there during bedtime.


Quoting LyndaLoo78:

Research bedtime routines appropriate to his age.  Implement a bedtime routine in your household. Acknowledge that your SS misses his mother, perhaps focus on something fun you all did and do a related craft that he can give her as a present.  Your SS will adjust to an age appropriate bedtime routine at your home.  Of course he cries bloody murder right now, he wants someone to stay with him while he sleeps, and this method works; DH goes in with him.  This is not really a BM issues.  You can take control of this situation, stop blaming BM, establish a routine and stick to it.




LoveMySS
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:27 PM

We were asked by BM to STICK to what she does at home for consitancy. We are doing what she has asked us to do. It's a long story but we get an earful of harassment daily if DH doesn't do what she says.

Not saying that he does EVERYTHING she asks but as for bedtime and having the same schedule as she does as in bathime, playtime and bedtime in that order we do.


Quoting LyndaLoo78:

Clearly, your routine is NOT working.

Quoting LoveMySS:


The routine we have had for over a year and the outcome hasen't changed. BM has asked we put him to bed at the same time she does which we do to keep consitatncy. We do everything the exact same as she would execpt the fact that she is not there and DH is. I honesty think it is a BM issue since the only thing that is the issue is her sleeping with him in bed and him wanting her there during bedtime.


Quoting LyndaLoo78:

Research bedtime routines appropriate to his age.  Implement a bedtime routine in your household. Acknowledge that your SS misses his mother, perhaps focus on something fun you all did and do a related craft that he can give her as a present.  Your SS will adjust to an age appropriate bedtime routine at your home.  Of course he cries bloody murder right now, he wants someone to stay with him while he sleeps, and this method works; DH goes in with him.  This is not really a BM issues.  You can take control of this situation, stop blaming BM, establish a routine and stick to it.





sheramom4
by Bronze Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Tray fan, white noise machine or radio. Also a DreamLight or an Uncle Milton's solar system or fireflies in the room. I have a poor sleeper who would prefer for us to be in the room with her. She has always been like this. She is ten and has a DreamLight, solar system, a clock that makes pictures on the wall and a white noise machine. All of this has helped her fall and stay asleep.

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