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How to get past "always screwing up"?

Posted by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:12 PM
  • 8 Replies

DH and I are very frustrated right now. Everytime we turn around lately, we are "screwing up." DD9 and SD9 both wanted Monster High costumes this year, I saw them on sale for $6.99 and got them each one. SD was over the moon, BM is beyond pissed. DH has always bought the costumes for SD, and it was no issue to him, and doesn't get why BM is mad.(She's not saying, just told DH it "was BS we got it.")

SD12's birthday was the 4th, we got her what she asked from us, a VS Pink jogging suit, and a case for her iphone. BM got her a new bike, but got shitty with DH for getting a better gift to "show her up." We just got what she wanted!(SD12 lives with custodial gma)

We got SD9 a "cool" backpack for school, so she's not re-using the one BM bought last yr. (We were never told that was the plan, BM just asked us to get supplies for school, so we did.)

BUT if we didn't do these things, we'd never hear the end of it! There is more, but I am too tire to type them at this point.

Ticker id: NomlLilypie - (ZEi4)


by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:12 PM
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Replies (1-8):
annabl1970
by Gold Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:51 PM
2 moms liked this
I wouldn't care much what she says.


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progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:58 PM
1 mom liked this

We are on the BM side of this. We bought a cat, two weeks later BM bought dog. We brought a cold Gatorade to SS’s ball practice, BM shows up with a milkshake from Sonic. We took SS to play laser tag for the first time, the next day BM took SS to play two games of laser tag AND arcade games. We told SS we were having a baby, BM told him she’d adopt him an older brother. Frankly, it’s highly annoying.

 

However we didn’t buy a cat or bring Gatorade to practice because we wanted to ‘outdo’ BM. If she wants to try to trump us, she can.

 

I feel - if you’re doing these things with the kids as your main focus it shouldn’t matter how the other person (BM) feels about it. I feel if you dwell on how BM is going to act about you getting, or doing, something for the kids then you’re just inviting competition. 

 

We notice when BM amps up her attempts to beat us, and sometimes it’s really hard not to think – “She just did that to try to one up us!” – but ultimately we have to say to ourselves, “That’s awesome that she randomly bought SS a very expensive bike. I'm sure he'll enjoy that as much as he enjoyed spending time at the carnival we went to yesterday.”

elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 10:26 PM

We don't have the time OR energy to lay awake at night dreaming up ways to "one up" BM. We do what we want/can within reason, and leave it at that. It's just getting VERY frustrating lately! And it makes her kids miserable, b/c she doesn't let it go.

Quoting progressandjoy:

We are on the BM side of this. We bought a cat, two weeks later BM bought dog. We brought a cold Gatorade to SS’s ball practice, BM shows up with a milkshake from Sonic. We took SS to play laser tag for the first time, the next day BM took SS to play two games of laser tag AND arcade games. We told SS we were having a baby, BM told him she’d adopt him an older brother. Frankly, it’s highly annoying.

 

However we didn’t buy a cat or bring Gatorade to practice because we wanted to ‘outdo’ BM. If she wants to try to trump us, she can.

 

I feel - if you’re doing these things with the kids as your main focus it shouldn’t matter how the other person (BM) feels about it. I feel if you dwell on how BM is going to act about you getting, or doing, something for the kids then you’re just inviting competition. 

 

We notice when BM amps up her attempts to beat us, and sometimes it’s really hard not to think – “She just did that to try to one up us!” – but ultimately we have to say to ourselves, “That’s awesome that she randomly bought SS a very expensive bike. I'm sure he'll enjoy that as much as he enjoyed spending time at the carnival we went to yesterday.”


Ticker id: NomlLilypie - (ZEi4)


lnr187
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 10:27 PM

 lol don't worry about what she says. nothing you do will ever be right. that's her issue to deal with herself.

elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 10:27 PM

I am trying not to. DH is having a harder time, b/c she either makes him feel not good enough or says he only did it to show her up.

Quoting annabl1970:

I wouldn't care much what she says.



Ticker id: NomlLilypie - (ZEi4)


Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 11:46 PM
1 mom liked this

yep this

Quoting annabl1970:

I wouldn't care much what she says.



faerie75
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Look on the bright side, at least she didn't try to one up you by getting knocked up too! Lol

Quoting progressandjoy:


We are on the BM side of this. We bought a cat, two weeks later BM bought dog. We brought a cold Gatorade to SS’s ball practice, BM shows up with a milkshake from Sonic. We took SS to play laser tag for the first time, the next day BM took SS to play two games of laser tag AND arcade games. We told SS we were having a baby, BM told him she’d adopt him an older brother. Frankly, it’s highly annoying.


 


However we didn’t buy a cat or bring Gatorade to practice because we wanted to ‘outdo’ BM. If she wants to try to trump us, she can.


 


I feel - if you’re doing these things with the kids as your main focus it shouldn’t matter how the other person (BM) feels about it. I feel if you dwell on how BM is going to act about you getting, or doing, something for the kids then you’re just inviting competition. 


 


We notice when BM amps up her attempts to beat us, and sometimes it’s really hard not to think – “She just did that to try to one up us!” – but ultimately we have to say to ourselves, “That’s awesome that she randomly bought SS a very expensive bike. I'm sure he'll enjoy that as much as he enjoyed spending time at the carnival we went to yesterday.”

annabl1970
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:01 AM
He shouldn't care either.



Quoting elisesmom922:

I am trying not to. DH is having a harder time, b/c she either makes him feel not good enough or says he only did it to show her up.

Quoting annabl1970:

I wouldn't care much what she says.







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