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Need advice.. Older sibling privileges?

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 10:52 AM
  • 37 Replies
SD asked why we are having another baby. That she doesn't want one and can we just give it away?

I know she'll eventually be excited because SD is very mother-y and loves babies. I think this just bad timing for her. Her mom just had a baby.. She's not adjusted to the custody change or the school routine yet.

I just feel bad for her. If I were her I probably would feel the same way about a new baby. I think making a habit of having special time away from DD with either me, DH or both of us will help her feel a little less shoved out of the way.

I also realized that although she is older, she really doesn't have any older sibling privileges. I think she really needs some. Any suggestions? (SD is 4 and DD is (2).

Ok. That's all. I just feel like a crappy SM today.
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by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 10:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 11:35 AM
Bump!
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chanizen
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 11:42 AM

Hmmm.  Later bed time (30 mutes),  able to help with dishawshing (dd LOVED this.... Yes I re-washed),  able to pick a movie,  able to stir thie brownie mix.....  More latet

Leigh84
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 11:48 AM
Maybe give her a lil extra one on one time might help. At 4 she probably doesn't fully understand that just b/c you and your DH are having another baby you guys still love her just as much as you always have. Eventually she will come around. Although I do not know you personally, you do not seem like a crappy sm. don't be so hard on yourself 😊
huntersmom1007
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:06 PM
2 moms liked this
My sd enjoyed helping with the baby shower registery. Also maybe start by letting her help with the theme and decorating .
Annawest
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:11 PM

I share this same problem.  My DS is 8 and my SO's is 7.  They are almost exactly a year apart.  My older one gets all the same rules/priveledges as the younger one and the younger one is expected to behave like the older. 

I'm debating extra video game time for the older and less chores for the younger.  I'm hoping this will let them both feel like their own individual.

With a girl, I would do something like pretty hair things, or a special necklace because she's SUCH a big girl, or going to get a manicure with you.  Something that makes her think she's really big and special.

amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:13 PM
I can't make her Bedtime any later.. She gets up at about 6am (just because she's an early riser.. Not because she has to) and by 8pm after a long day with no nap (which she won't take) she is asking to go to bed.

I do let her pick the movie at bedtime.. But I just feel like she needs a distinction that she's the big sister. I don't think she would like washing dishes.

Thanks for helping me brainstorm! :)


Quoting chanizen:

Hmmm.  Later bed time (30 mutes),  able to help with dishawshing (dd LOVED this.... Yes I re-washed),  able to pick a movie,  able to stir thie brownie mix.....  More latet


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amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:14 PM
I'm just under 10 weeks along. So I'm not ready to decorate yet. But I think I'm looking for something not baby related. I think she's sick of babies. Lol


Quoting huntersmom1007:

My sd enjoyed helping with the baby shower registery. Also maybe start by letting her help with the theme and decorating .

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huntersmom1007
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Maybe ask her if she wants to redo her room to a big girl room if u haven't changed it already. You could also make a special night just for her and go for ice cream or something.

Quoting amanda_mom89:

I'm just under 10 weeks along. So I'm not ready to decorate yet. But I think I'm looking for something not baby related. I think she's sick of babies. Lol


Quoting huntersmom1007:My sd enjoyed helping with the baby shower registery. Also maybe start by letting her help with the theme and decorating .



amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:40 PM
We just moved into a 3 bedroom apartment about a month ago so that SD and DD could have separate rooms. We'll before we could get them set up (we are buying separate beds so when we moved in we just put them in one) we found out I'm pregnant. So we're making the other room the baby's room.

So I'm sure that's playing into part of why she is not excited about this baby. And also why I feel so bad.

We are still getting SD and DD separate beds but they will have to share the bigger room.

I didn't mean to shoot your awesome idea. Because it really is. That's just some backstory for ya. Thank you for the ice cream suggestion. You're right that it doesn't have to be something extravagant to go a long way with a 4 year old.


Quoting huntersmom1007:

Maybe ask her if she wants to redo her room to a big girl room if u haven't changed it already. You could also make a special night just for her and go for ice cream or something.



Quoting amanda_mom89:

I'm just under 10 weeks along. So I'm not ready to decorate yet. But I think I'm looking for something not baby related. I think she's sick of babies. Lol





Quoting huntersmom1007:My sd enjoyed helping with the baby shower registery. Also maybe start by letting her help with the theme and decorating .





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SassyMom25
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Hoping the weather holds out for trick-or-treating tonight!
Yesterday at 11:24 AM
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:51 PM
My DDs help with laundry and dusting. She could help you sweep and mop or help pick out clothes for your DD.
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