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SF has more rights than BF? O.o

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:28 PM
  • 52 Replies

My Dh has a 6 yr old with his exgirlfriend. Hes been trying to get visits arranged for the past year and a half. Bm Always says well let me talk to my husband about it and to call her back. So when Dh calls her back, its the same story, Bm's husband doesnt think its a good idea because he wants to spend time with SD. He lives with SD, he could spend time with her at any given point of the day. Dh asked for Christmas break, and he got told that SF's family has plans for the next 3 years for any and all school breaks and Dh should check back at a later date. Than she made the comment that SF is raising her so he has the say on when she sees DH. So Dh asked if the SF was willing to adopt SD since he was so interested in being daddy and that his relationship with SD went down the tubes, with the refusal to let him see her. The answer Dh got appalled me. SF wont adopt because than the CS goes away and he uses the CS to buy his ciggerttes.


Lets get this straight... SF wants to play daddy and doesnt want SD's dad to be a part of her life, but doesnt want to take the inciative to make it legal... O.o

Thoughts anyone?? We could use them right now.

And all this started when BM married this guy, a year and a half ago! Its rather annoying.

by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amantonacci
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:31 PM
1 mom liked this

Why would your bf be ok with giving away his child?

MysticIceWater
by Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:34 PM

Dh and hes not, He got told by BM that Sd is happy without him and doesnt need him. He suggested it because BM keeps saying that SD doesnt need him and has a daddy. He wants whats best for SD and Bm is making it hard.


Quoting amantonacci:

Why would your bf be ok with giving away his child?



Closet_Case
by Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:36 PM
My fiancé's ex does that to him too except he only gets his daughter every other weekend. The girl's mom still whines about him supposedly spending more time with her daughter than she does...
petie1104
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Is there a co in place, I'm assuming so because he pays CS. If they aren't abiding by the co, your dh needs to go back to court with all the evidence of denied visits.
amantonacci
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:38 PM

Does he have a co? If I were him the suggestion of adoption could really come back and bite him in the ass if the ever end up going to court (or going back to court)... If that's not what he wants then he would have never said anything about adoption.


Quoting MysticIceWater:

Dh and hes not, He got told by BM that Sd is happy without him and doesnt need him. He suggested it because BM keeps saying that SD doesnt need him and has a daddy. He wants whats best for SD and Bm is making it hard.


Quoting amantonacci:

Why would your bf be ok with giving away his child?





MysticIceWater
by Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:40 PM

Bm has full custody with visits as parties agree. And thats what I told him, was suggesting that was a bad idea!


Quoting amantonacci:

Does he have a co? If I were him the suggestion of adoption could really come back and bite him in the ass if the ever end up going to court (or going back to court)... If that's not what he wants then he would have never said anything about adoption.


Quoting MysticIceWater:

Dh and hes not, He got told by BM that Sd is happy without him and doesnt need him. He suggested it because BM keeps saying that SD doesnt need him and has a daddy. He wants whats best for SD and Bm is making it hard.


Quoting amantonacci:

Why would your bf be ok with giving away his child?







amantonacci
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:42 PM


Just curious how did he end up with a visitation schedule like that in the first place?

Quoting MysticIceWater:

Bm has full custody with visits as parties agree. And thats what I told him, was suggesting that was a bad idea!


Quoting amantonacci:

Does he have a co? If I were him the suggestion of adoption could really come back and bite him in the ass if the ever end up going to court (or going back to court)... If that's not what he wants then he would have never said anything about adoption.


Quoting MysticIceWater:

Dh and hes not, He got told by BM that Sd is happy without him and doesnt need him. He suggested it because BM keeps saying that SD doesnt need him and has a daddy. He wants whats best for SD and Bm is making it hard.


Quoting amantonacci:

Why would your bf be ok with giving away his child?









luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:47 PM
It's standard a lot of the time.

That's basically what Js original co said. At the time it was fine because they got aalong okay and j saw ss every single weekend. When bm got back with her boyfriend, moved him in and tried to make him daddy 2.0, is when the problem began. And when the army moved j to another state is when bm disappeared. It took five years to find her after that. And two more to get a better CO in place, and then j ended up with sole because cps got involved at bms.


Quoting amantonacci:


Just curious how did he end up with a visitation schedule like that in the first place?


Quoting MysticIceWater:

Bm has full custody with visits as parties agree. And thats what I told him, was suggesting that was a bad idea!



Quoting amantonacci:

Does he have a co? If I were him the suggestion of adoption could really come back and bite him in the ass if the ever end up going to court (or going back to court)... If that's not what he wants then he would have never said anything about adoption.



Quoting MysticIceWater:

Dh and hes not, He got told by BM that Sd is happy without him and doesnt need him. He suggested it because BM keeps saying that SD doesnt need him and has a daddy. He wants whats best for SD and Bm is making it hard.



Quoting amantonacci:

Why would your bf be ok with giving away his child?














MysticIceWater
by Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:47 PM


They went to court for child support and the judge set it up like that, because BM refused to agree on anything and it was a long drawn out process where she wanted 1000 a week in CS and no visitations. The judge was getting really fed up with dealing with her, because she couldnt agree on anything and settled it with 30 a week and as parties agree. It was more of a get the heck out of my court room thing, than anything.

Quoting amantonacci:


Just curious how did he end up with a visitation schedule like that in the first place?

Quoting MysticIceWater:

Bm has full custody with visits as parties agree. And thats what I told him, was suggesting that was a bad idea!


Quoting amantonacci:

Does he have a co? If I were him the suggestion of adoption could really come back and bite him in the ass if the ever end up going to court (or going back to court)... If that's not what he wants then he would have never said anything about adoption.


Quoting MysticIceWater:

Dh and hes not, He got told by BM that Sd is happy without him and doesnt need him. He suggested it because BM keeps saying that SD doesnt need him and has a daddy. He wants whats best for SD and Bm is making it hard.


Quoting amantonacci:

Why would your bf be ok with giving away his child?











amantonacci
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:51 PM


Wow, I didn't realize some places did that without a reason to setup a dominant type relationship between parents.

Quoting luckystars2012:

It's standard a lot of the time.

That's basically what Js original co said. At the time it was fine because they got aalong okay and j saw ss every single weekend. When bm got back with her boyfriend, moved him in and tried to make him daddy 2.0, is when the problem began. And when the army moved j to another state is when bm disappeared. It took five years to find her after that. And two more to get a better CO in place, and then j ended up with sole because cps got involved at bms.


Quoting amantonacci:


Just curious how did he end up with a visitation schedule like that in the first place?


Quoting MysticIceWater:

Bm has full custody with visits as parties agree. And thats what I told him, was suggesting that was a bad idea!



Quoting amantonacci:

Does he have a co? If I were him the suggestion of adoption could really come back and bite him in the ass if the ever end up going to court (or going back to court)... If that's not what he wants then he would have never said anything about adoption.



Quoting MysticIceWater:

Dh and hes not, He got told by BM that Sd is happy without him and doesnt need him. He suggested it because BM keeps saying that SD doesnt need him and has a daddy. He wants whats best for SD and Bm is making it hard.



Quoting amantonacci:

Why would your bf be ok with giving away his child?
















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