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School orientation?

Posted by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 4:37 PM
  • 33 Replies
After talking with dh I've decided I'm going to go with him to ss orientation tonight. I had reservations but dh wants me there.
Any other sm's go to these functions??
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 4:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BasketballMama8
by Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 4:47 PM

my kids SM comes to pretty much everything. I dont invite her.. BUT I also dont mind that she comes. She is very active in the kids school/and sports lives. Do you feel uncomfortable? Why? Maybe you shouldnt go then?

kss12
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 4:53 PM
BM and I don't talk. The 3 times we've talked she's walking past and utters something negative about dh, she has never made eye contact, she comes to pick ss up and I'm outside with our ds and wave and she looks the other way. Just kind of feel awkward. I'm not not going to go, sometimes you have to sacrifice for dh!


Quoting BasketballMama8:

my kids SM comes to pretty much everything. I dont invite her.. BUT I also dont mind that she comes. She is very active in the kids school/and sports lives. Do you feel uncomfortable? Why? Maybe you shouldnt go then?


BasketballMama8
by Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 4:58 PM
1 mom liked this


This could go bad... And the most awful place something could go bad is at your ss SCHOOL. So DH should talk to BM about it beforwhand, in my opinion. You never know how she will react.

I was told by my X that SM wanted to attend open house and I actually thought it was kind of sweet that she wanted to.  But every mom doesnt feel the same.  Its not about you, DH, or BM... its about avoiding drama at your sons school in front of him, his teachers, and his friends 

Quoting kss12:

BM and I don't talk. The 3 times we've talked she's walking past and utters something negative about dh, she has never made eye contact, she comes to pick ss up and I'm outside with our ds and wave and she looks the other way. Just kind of feel awkward. I'm not not going to go, sometimes you have to sacrifice for dh!


Quoting BasketballMama8:

my kids SM comes to pretty much everything. I dont invite her.. BUT I also dont mind that she comes. She is very active in the kids school/and sports lives. Do you feel uncomfortable? Why? Maybe you shouldnt go then?




MommaJ815
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 5:08 PM

Yes!  My husband has 3 from a previous marriage, I have 2 from a previous marriage, and we have 1 together.  We've been together over 5 years and married for 4.  We share custody with his ex 50/50, and we have my kids most of the time.  4 of our kids go to the same elementary school (next year will be 5!) and then his oldest is in junior high.  We go to all these functions together.  For back to school/Meet the teacher, we meet his ex wife at the school and meet the teacher together.  We all go to parent teacher conferences as well.  I think BM used to be bothered by it, but as far as I know is over it now.  She knows my hubby goes with me to my kids, and I go with him to his kids.  But I also watch my skids after school on her days until she gets off work.  So I'm the one who does homework with them,  she knows I'm involved.  I say go for it!  It's good that you want to support hubby and SS and be involved.

kss12
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this
She would never start drama, nor would I. This isn't a springer style family.. She has her own way of being rude that could involve a simple stare. I'm going to support dh.. BM knows I'm fully involved in all things ss related as I'm a sahm and have the time where dh doesn't as much. It's only logical for me to go.. I just sometimes feel nervous to go to things that I know she'll be. Thanks for your input :)


Quoting BasketballMama8:


This could go bad... And the most awful place something could go bad is at your ss SCHOOL. So DH should talk to BM about it beforwhand, in my opinion. You never know how she will react.

I was told by my X that SM wanted to attend open house and I actually thought it was kind of sweet that she wanted to.  But every mom doesnt feel the same.  Its not about you, DH, or BM... its about avoiding drama at your sons school in front of him, his teachers, and his friends 


Quoting kss12:

BM and I don't talk. The 3 times we've talked she's walking past and utters something negative about dh, she has never made eye contact, she comes to pick ss up and I'm outside with our ds and wave and she looks the other way. Just kind of feel awkward. I'm not not going to go, sometimes you have to sacrifice for dh!





Quoting BasketballMama8:

my kids SM comes to pretty much everything. I dont invite her.. BUT I also dont mind that she comes. She is very active in the kids school/and sports lives. Do you feel uncomfortable? Why? Maybe you shouldnt go then?







kss12
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 5:12 PM
Same scenario minus all other kids. I'm practically the one raising ss.. Especially during summer. I get a little nervous as BM and I never talk.. Dh and BM never talk either unless its an email changing something or updating about something, they don't get along. For me it's like seeing someone you're not totally comfortable around. Thanks :):)


Quoting MommaJ815:

Yes!  My husband has 3 from a previous marriage, I have 2 from a previous marriage, and we have 1 together.  We've been together over 5 years and married for 4.  We share custody with his ex 50/50, and we have my kids most of the time.  4 of our kids go to the same elementary school (next year will be 5!) and then his oldest is in junior high.  We go to all these functions together.  For back to school/Meet the teacher, we meet his ex wife at the school and meet the teacher together.  We all go to parent teacher conferences as well.  I think BM used to be bothered by it, but as far as I know is over it now.  She knows my hubby goes with me to my kids, and I go with him to his kids.  But I also watch my skids after school on her days until she gets off work.  So I'm the one who does homework with them,  she knows I'm involved.  I say go for it!  It's good that you want to support hubby and SS and be involved.


PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 5:29 PM
My DH is SF and he attends school functions (even runs some) for DD (his SD).
looneytunes290
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 5:29 PM

I used to-- I would only go if BM and skid want you there too- there will just be problems if they don't.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 6:13 PM

I generally go. DH usually goes too, but for the past two years I have gone alone to SD's BTSN. This year, her first year in high school, and again I am going alone, but DH will meet me there after it starts.

I HATE these things. (btw, my stepkids' mom does not go to these things).

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 6:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I go.  Because my DH and BM want me there.  I would rather NOT go to be honest because it's kind of awkward and well...I don't see the need per se.  But I go and it's fine and it is what it is.

If BM didn't want me there, I would NOT go.  Even if DH did want me there.  I just don't see the need really.  

It's not a pleasure cruise or something.  It's just like a 5th grade band concert--kinda painful but something you sit through and hope you can sort out. 


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