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Sports and money

Posted by on Sep. 11, 2013 at 10:13 PM
  • 11 Replies

So short version been married 2 1/2 years.. been around four and so on... when I met DH... he was the soccer coach... for his son's team.... went to games to see ss play and dh coach... so... to make a long story short.. ss moved on from soccer... probably because bm hated to go to games and the time it took...how do I know this... bm and I were friends for a few months until he decided to marry me... the following year was crazy... ss was miserable... dh... was worst... and I was exhausted... it came to our attention that bm told ss that sports were bad for you... so...he didn't want to do soccer anymore... mind you he's been doing this since he was like 4.... anyway.... fast forward.... ss hasn't stuck to anything....since soccer... tried ping pong... that he gave up too.... we had a new family that moved accross the street... the son is 7... my ss is 12... he likes to play with younger kids... anyway... this kid is like a super kid... does hockey... and baseball.... and is very active... out of the blue... now ss wants to do hockey... this kid doesn't skate... ice skate... roller blade... nothing.... so dh of course wants him to try it.. the skating lessons are like $150 per set.... so he's on the second set... so he has to make a choice of lessons... skate with a stick or goalie training...  ss want to do goalie training... I love my ss but I am realistic and he's afraid of a soccer ball ... how about a puck coming at you very.. VERY fast?? he says he's not going to get hurt because he has protection...  we sat him down and talked to him about it... it's a big investment.. and he says... yeah.. yeah... i want to do it... we are talking about hundreds of $$ on goalie equipment even if we borrow some of the equipment... the lessons are like $40-$50 a lesson...  now we are not rich.. we just had a baby... I didn't go back to teaching this year.. to be with the baby.. I work in his business... and i am frustrated... he works lots of hours.. i work lots too.. and I know in my heart that ss is not passionate about this... I told he didn't even want to do roller hockey when my son is up here.. and he's like I don't like roller hockey... I know this money will be money thrown out the window...  i just wish ss would find something to try that it's not as expensive....  dh says to stop being negative but.. I am not... i know his limitations... and some kids are athletic some are not...

by on Sep. 11, 2013 at 10:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Amy1973Potts
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 3:38 AM
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Ah welcome to my world! Soccer can go eff itself lol.

Hockey? No way in HELL.
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Derdriu
by Gold Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 6:23 AM
I think dads who are athletic and enjoy sports struggle to accept when their son isn't. SD can play any sport and even show up some of the boys. SS, by contrast, is awkward when only running/jogging. We've tried various sports. He wants to play, but the fact is, poor child is not athletic. At all. He looks the part of an athlete, long and lean with energy in spades, but the coordination and competitive drive / focus aren't there.
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Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 8:50 AM
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How about a compromise?  It would be much less expensive for him to take the stick lessons. Less expensive equipment, more versatile.  Let's face it, whether in soccer or in hockey, the goalie position is pretty competitive and you don't get as much playing time if you're not excellent.

Perhaps your DH could discuss w/ son that if he really likes it and really wants to stick with it, try a few more sessions with the stick.  IF that continues to go well, then next year, once he's developed some stick skills, he can do the goalie thing.  That will allow you guys to save up.  I would make that part of the discussion too.  No reason a kid can't know that what they're asking is pricey and that you'll try to make it happen but it takes time to save up that money.

I know it's not exactly the same, but I see this sort of thing a lot with kids and horses.  Very few kids are going to stick with it long enough for it to make sense for them to have their own horse, their own tack, have mom and dad buy a truck and trailer, etc.  It's pretty well built into the culture these days that you'll take lessons, lease, work your way up til you're helping pay the bill.  It's not cheap and it's a committment. 


pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 10:44 AM

Just resell the equipment if he doesn't stick to it.  He really has to buy the equipment before even trying it?

JustaSM231
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 3:34 PM
This!! He needs to show the commitment and capacity before you all invest. My nephew plays hockey and he is VERY good but he started at age 4 skating and even then had to work hard to catch up with the rest of the more advanced players


Quoting Birdseed:

How about a compromise?  It would be much less expensive for him to take the stick lessons. Less expensive equipment, more versatile.  Let's face it, whether in soccer or in hockey, the goalie position is pretty competitive and you don't get as much playing time if you're not excellent.

Perhaps your DH could discuss w/ son that if he really likes it and really wants to stick with it, try a few more sessions with the stick.  IF that continues to go well, then next year, once he's developed some stick skills, he can do the goalie thing.  That will allow you guys to save up.  I would make that part of the discussion too.  No reason a kid can't know that what they're asking is pricey and that you'll try to make it happen but it takes time to save up that money.

I know it's not exactly the same, but I see this sort of thing a lot with kids and horses.  Very few kids are going to stick with it long enough for it to make sense for them to have their own horse, their own tack, have mom and dad buy a truck and trailer, etc.  It's pretty well built into the culture these days that you'll take lessons, lease, work your way up til you're helping pay the bill.  It's not cheap and it's a committment. 



newbie_step
by Bronze Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 4:49 PM

I spoke to dh about the skate with stick lessons... and he says that he doesn't think ss will be good on that... he is extremely bias he thinks ss is an amazing goalie.. and the truth is he isn't.... he was the kid picking he's nose at the goalie net..... I know hockey is a hard sport... and it will be really hard for ss to do this.... I just wish dh would realize this.... I mean he knows ss has tried stuff and doesn't finish... I mean is not that we are hurting for money but let's face it the economy is not what it used to be. Our five month old will need things... and dh is already saying how we have to watch our expenses because of the hockey expenses that are coming up...dh is an amazing soccer goalie but ss just doesn't have it... when we spoke about the commitmemnt and how this is really expensive ss is like.... yeah... yeah... i want to do it...no passiion... no YES I WANT THIS.... just blah.... 

Last night dh is talking about getting him goalie hockey skates... i know these are going to cost a fortune!!!

I told him why don't you get him to try roller hockey... is a little bit slower and less expensive...he's like ... no.. no he wants to do hockey.... Its really frustrating!!!

Justa He is the oldest kid in that class... the learning how to ice skate class... so I just don't know how dh expects him to be a good goalie without the basics... I mean kids start this sport when they are 4 or so... my ss is three weeks away of turning 12.... I just don't know what to say anymore... If I remind him how he hasn't stuck to anything I am being negative.... and honestly if the investment was a couple of bucks... it's whatever but when you are talking about hundreds even with borrowed equipment... it really pisses me off!!! 

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 5:03 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you stay out of DHs decision.  You said yourself you can afford it.  DH wants to budget appropriately so the family can afford it.  Do you reallythink your DH will sacrifice the needs of his other child?

You are heading down the wrong path if you keep trying to push your opinion on to your DH.  especially when there is no real impact to you.

newbie_step
by Bronze Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 5:19 PM

There is an impact on me... financially obviously.. this expense means not doing other things.. as a couple nor as a family... but i"m done telling him how i feel... hes going to do whatever he wants... so i am just venting and seeing how other moms...stepmoms deal...


Quoting pdxmum:

I think you stay out of DHs decision.  You said yourself you can afford it.  DH wants to budget appropriately so the family can afford it.  Do you reallythink your DH will sacrifice the needs of his other child?

You are heading down the wrong path if you keep trying to push your opinion on to your DH.  especially when there is no real impact to you.



iSMILEheCRIES
by Bronze Member on Sep. 12, 2013 at 5:32 PM
I'm a "mean mom"...if you spend the money the kid plays! PERIOD dot the end. It seems like you are fighting a losing battle with DH, this is his baby boy! His champ! His big guy! It's a parents love, the kid could be legless and dad would swear he's a track star. I say jump on board, and save your energy until the kid tries to quit and THEN pick your battle. Sorry honey, you already lost due to dad's pride! But you are right to be annoyed don't get me wrong!
FloridaMomma
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 5:43 PM
Sounds stupid to me too, but I think you should keep your mouth shut.
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