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Being a Stepparent is hard.

Posted by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:07 PM
  • 24 Replies
5 moms liked this
Being a stepparent is hard. I'm just venting about "normal" life situations,but it just makes it so much harder when it's a spilt family. A stepparent has to be :

good for certain things,other things they need to "butt out"...they must be empathic,but not overly sensitive.


There's more but I'm just venting because today is one of those days where I feel I can't get anything right and I am mad but I'm not "supposed to be". So,it sucks...

Thanks for letting me vent ladies.
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by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
newbie_step
by Bronze Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:14 PM
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Yup... it sucks... big time some times... it's like damn if you do... and damn if you don't... i feel you... sometimes it feels like I should not be here... I know how you feel... you should feel this way and not that way... they/he/she is not your kid... but seriously whatever they do affects us .. we live there... sorry... :) 

sometimes is not so bad... LOL

runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:38 PM


I'm with you both on this. And this below, exactly. 

I saw this post right as I happen to be very frustrated with all this. 

Quoting newbie_step:

Yup... it sucks... big time some times... it's like damn if you do... and damn if you don't... i feel you... sometimes it feels like I should not be here... I know how you feel... you should feel this way and not that way... they/he/she is not your kid... but seriously whatever they do affects us .. we live there... sorry... :) 

sometimes is not so bad... LOL



Tx_stepmom
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:41 PM

Been there, done that.  Now I'm a CSM and unfortunately & thankfully BM has stepped out of the raising of my SS.  All she cares about is her visitation.  On one hand it's good, because she sucked BIG TIME as a parent.  On the other hand, SS suffers for her lack of involvement.  It's a slippery slope, being a Step Parent.  I see the hurt in SS face when she doesn't involve herself. But he's doing so much better physically, emotionally, academically without her in the picture.  

If you has asked me 5 years ago did I see myself raising someone else's child?  I would have said, "Hell NO!"  But no one knows what life has in store for us.  I thank GOD everyday for putting me in DH's & SS's life.  I shudder at the thought of where SS would be if he was still with his BM.  

AKingsQueen
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 10:07 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm new to this (cafemom, and kinda the step parent gig), but I just uttered these same exact words today to my own mother. I knew it would be hard raising a child, but raising someone else's child and in two different homes I feel like intensifies the situation that much more! 

Tx_stepmom
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 10:15 PM

Yes, it does.  Everything that we have accomplished with SS, his BM undermines.  It's a constant battle.  In some situations, the BM will work with you.  In our case, that will never happen.  

The BM I deal with is a "teenager in heat".  She doesn't care about SS.  She just wants her visitation to show off to her friend's and Boy Toy's of the Month, how a good mother she is....yeah, right.  If I was a guy and knew that the lady I was dating didn't have custody of her son, there has to be a reason why????!!!!  Hello????

We (DH & I) do our best and just stick to our guns, so to speak.  It's hard, but I know that SS will be a better person.  

Quoting AKingsQueen:

I'm new to this (cafemom, and kinda the step parent gig), but I just uttered these same exact words today to my own mother. I knew it would be hard raising a child, but raising someone else's child and in two different homes I feel like intensifies the situation that much more! 


AKingsQueen
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 10:41 PM

I am very lucky that my fiancé makes me a part of the parenting (on our end at least), but raising a toddle between two homes feels impossible some days. She's 3 and I've been around for going on 2.5 years now so I pray that I've had some good influence. Our latest struggle is tantrums, hitting, and just being a moody toddler. Her BM baby's her (she still gives her a pacifier!!!) and allows her to do what she wants with no real punishment. So of course we end up being the bad guys (which we're okay with because that's being a parent). There's just no middle ground between our house and her BM's. So frustrating! 

lnr187
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 11:42 PM

 i feel you 100% right now. im so frustrated and angry about some things going on lately. i so badly want to post about it, but i fear it'll be seen. *sigh*

Nlvonblah
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 1:32 AM

And no matter what, don't try to make suggestions on how the household might run more smoothly if this or that were to change, oh no,  that would be criticizing.  Blah, blah, blah ... 

I'm pretty much over it.  N

rocknmom85
by Silver Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 1:58 AM
I feel ya. I'm frustrated with my situation lately too, but in my case it's because neither DH nor BM are all to handle my SD13 very well. I'm super irritated with DH about it because he just completely has no patience for her, she is special needs and can be VERY difficult, but still. Idk, it just feels like I have to be there to help DH keep his cool with her and since DH can't handle her she will constantly wants to be with me, which is honestly exhausting. I really don't know what to do to fix this, it's effecting the other kids and even our marriage...sigh.
Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Sep. 14, 2013 at 4:25 PM
I agree. I guess some things still confuse me and I'm sure they will forever. Even though its just been little things lately..today they got to me. Today was SS birthday and he wanted to go eat dinner alone w his dad. (Which is fine of course,I'm just used to family around for these moments) so we all stayed home and all the kids left but then SS came back and he wanted them all there with him. It was confusing to them and myself but I know in step families,they want their alone time.

I just felt like everything I did (besides my awesome cake;) was wrong. It is hard sometimes, that's all:)


Quoting newbie_step:

Yup... it sucks... big time some times... it's like damn if you do... and damn if you don't... i feel you... sometimes it feels like I should not be here... I know how you feel... you should feel this way and not that way... they/he/she is not your kid... but seriously whatever they do affects us .. we live there... sorry... :) 

sometimes is not so bad... LOL

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