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She won't stop eating!

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 12:24 PM
  • 14 Replies
Sd 11 is overweight and very lazy. She is 5 inches shorter than me and out weighs me by 20lbs. I try to encourage walks and bike rides but she'll cry she's tired. When sd plays soccer she won't run...anyway no good! The reason I bring this up is she came in this morning wanting icecream. I told her no and she got an attitude..no big deal. Her portions of everything are more than dh or myself eat. I was always raised to eat til I was full but with her never wanting to exercise those 3 pork chops are sitting there. She also gets upset I won't allow seconds on desserts. I know kids at school called her fat last year and she thinks it's funny that she's bigger than anyone in middle school. I don't want to be mean but she's big and dhs family all struggle with weight. He also had portion control problems and was 60lbs overweight before I met him. Should I limit seconds? Basically any ideas where I don't have to tell her she's overweight and needs to lose some?
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 12:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BasketballMama8
by Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 12:40 PM

Only provide healthy food (thats delicious of course).  She will over eat still but it wont be near so many calories. She wanted ice cream? offer yogurt. Wants porkchops? offer chicken breasts. 

Amy1973Potts
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 12:44 PM
How do her parents feel?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Fullhouse1168
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 12:51 PM
Yea my mom's ideas on eating say a snack when we were small was if we were hungry eat a sandwich than the snack. We always had turkey and yummy breads. I would only eat a few cookies or chips. What ever she was going for worked. I still eat junk in very small amounts. I also was told to eat til I was no longer hungry, not til I'm full. I've never had weight trouble. Dh will finish off a whole bag of chips in one sitting. I'm not trying to be a food tyrant just concerned about her health. I will definitely encourage more chicken breasts and salad. It won't kill anyone to lay off the chops.


Quoting BasketballMama8:

Only provide healthy food (thats delicious of course).  She will over eat still but it wont be near so many calories. She wanted ice cream? offer yogurt. Wants porkchops? offer chicken breasts. 


Fullhouse1168
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 12:55 PM
Dh is concerned cause of his family problems. BM is not around much and Idk how she feels. We had pizza the other night and she was upset dh said no more after three enormous slices and told her to get some fruit if hungry.


Quoting Amy1973Potts:

How do her parents feel?

Tx_stepmom
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 1:00 PM

Are you and DH custodial parents?  I went through this with my SS.  He was overweight 30-40lbs at age 8yr old.  When BM was custodial, she let him sit on his ass watching tv, playing video games.  Her idea of an after-school snack was an entire bag of Tostitos and 3 Dr. Peppers.  SS was always hungry and eating.  She let him eat whatever he wanted, however much he wanted.  As long as she didn't have to deal with him.  His meals were nothing but junkfood or fast food every single day.  I also think he ate for comfort.  He got little or no attention from BM.  

It was a shock to him and his system when we gained custody.  He was used to eating 24/7.  He could out eat DH & I at every single meal.  He would inhale his food begging for more.  We had to start with table manners.  Take a normal size bite, put the fork down, chew up & swallow what's in your mouth before picking that fork back up.  Dinner time in our house was not fun.  He would sit there and SHOVEL his food into his mouth.  He would eat so fast that his stomach never felt full.  He basically went through Food Detox when he came to live with us.  It's been a rough 2 years, but we're finally seeing progress.  We do limit 2nds and dessert.  SS was used to having a huge dessert every single night.  It really hit SS last year when the kids at school began picking on him for being overweight.  Kids who he thought were friends started picking on him.  That's when he really got onboard and took an interest in changing his habits without fighting us.  

We try to do outdoor activities on the weekends to get out of the house, away from tv, etc....We got into Geocaching.  High tech treasure hunting.  SS loves hunting for & finding the Geocaches, but at the same time, we are hiking, tromping through the woods, etc....It's exercise.  He isn't the most athletic, coordinated child either.  He was so overweight, he couldn't run.  He would waddle.  We got him into Karate also.  It's low impact and it's a start to physical activity.  The program we got him into is just 1 Saturday morning every week.

SS used to complain about doing anything physical.  He would immediately complain about his feet hurting if we went to the park.  He had foot problems and wore orthotics because of the weight.  Thanks BM!  The Geocaching seemed to really get him up and out of the house.  My SS is ADHD and Geocaching gives him a goal to work towards.  We decide how many are we going to find today?  We put him in charge of the GPS unit and let him read which direction to go to find the prize.  He gets to be the leader of our Expedition.  I also have the Geocaching App on my phone running at the same time to make sure we don't get too far off track.  LOL   

BasketballMama8
by Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 1:01 PM


Introduce her to the alternatives but at the same time be encouraging and building her up. I was a porker as a kid and it REALLY does wear on you mentally, making you eat more for comfort. Try this blog:

http://www.cookinglight.com/food/everyday-menus/healthy-dessert-recipes-00400000047093/

my kids love some the desserts on there 

Quoting Fullhouse1168:

Yea my mom's ideas on eating say a snack when we were small was if we were hungry eat a sandwich than the snack. We always had turkey and yummy breads. I would only eat a few cookies or chips. What ever she was going for worked. I still eat junk in very small amounts. I also was told to eat til I was no longer hungry, not til I'm full. I've never had weight trouble. Dh will finish off a whole bag of chips in one sitting. I'm not trying to be a food tyrant just concerned about her health. I will definitely encourage more chicken breasts and salad. It won't kill anyone to lay off the chops.


Quoting BasketballMama8:

Only provide healthy food (thats delicious of course).  She will over eat still but it wont be near so many calories. She wanted ice cream? offer yogurt. Wants porkchops? offer chicken breasts. 




Fullhouse1168
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 1:08 PM
Yep csm so I guess it's up to us. I do the outdoor activities too like the park, we also have a ymca membership and she can go to classes with me. Have to do the treasure hunt for my boys too.


Quoting Tx_stepmom:

Are you and DH custodial parents?  I went through this with my SS.  He was overweight 30-40lbs at age 8yr old.  When BM was custodial, she let him sit on his ass watching tv, playing video games.  Her idea of an after-school snack was an entire bag of Tostitos and 3 Dr. Peppers.  SS was always hungry and eating.  She let him eat whatever he wanted, however much he wanted.  As long as she didn't have to deal with him.  His meals were nothing but junkfood or fast food every single day.  I also think he ate for comfort.  He got little or no attention from BM.  

It was a shock to him and his system when we gained custody.  He was used to eating 24/7.  He could out eat DH & I at every single meal.  He would inhale his food begging for more.  We had to start with table manners.  Take a normal size bite, put the fork down, chew up & swallow what's in your mouth before picking that fork back up.  Dinner time in our house was not fun.  He would sit there and SHOVEL his food into his mouth.  He would eat so fast that his stomach never felt full.  He basically went through Food Detox when he came to live with us.  It's been a rough 2 years, but we're finally seeing progress.  We do limit 2nds and dessert.  SS was used to having a huge dessert every single night.  It really hit SS last year when the kids at school began picking on him for being overweight.  Kids who he thought were friends started picking on him.  That's when he really got onboard and took an interest in changing his habits without fighting us.  

We try to do outdoor activities on the weekends to get out of the house, away from tv, etc....We got into Geocaching.  High tech treasure hunting.  SS loves hunting for & finding the Geocaches, but at the same time, we are hiking, tromping through the woods, etc....It's exercise.  He isn't the most athletic, coordinated child either.  He was so overweight, he couldn't run.  He would waddle.  We got him into Karate also.  It's low impact and it's a start to physical activity.  The program we got him into is just 1 Saturday morning every week.

SS used to complain about doing anything physical.  He would immediately complain about his feet hurting if we went to the park.  He had foot problems and wore orthotics because of the weight.  Thanks BM!  The Geocaching seemed to really get him up and out of the house.  My SS is ADHD and Geocaching gives him a goal to work towards.  We decide how many are we going to find today?  We put him in charge of the GPS unit and let him read which direction to go to find the prize.  He gets to be the leader of our Expedition.  I also have the Geocaching App on my phone running at the same time to make sure we don't get too far off track.  LOL   


Tx_stepmom
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 1:16 PM

I had heard about Geocaching and decided to check it out.  We really enjoy it.  SS likes finding the ammo can Geocaches.  I initially invested in buying a GPS unit.  The smartphone apps aren't as accurate as a GPS Unit.  Look at Geocaching.com.  We have a premium membership. I think it's like $30 for a year?  For Spring Break, we went camping at a State Park and went Geocaching.  SS had a blast!  PM me if you want more details about it!  

Quoting Fullhouse1168:

Yep csm so I guess it's up to us. I do the outdoor activities too like the park, we also have a ymca membership and she can go to classes with me. Have to do the treasure hunt for my boys too.


Quoting Tx_stepmom:

Are you and DH custodial parents?  I went through this with my SS.  He was overweight 30-40lbs at age 8yr old.  When BM was custodial, she let him sit on his ass watching tv, playing video games.  Her idea of an after-school snack was an entire bag of Tostitos and 3 Dr. Peppers.  SS was always hungry and eating.  She let him eat whatever he wanted, however much he wanted.  As long as she didn't have to deal with him.  His meals were nothing but junkfood or fast food every single day.  I also think he ate for comfort.  He got little or no attention from BM.  

It was a shock to him and his system when we gained custody.  He was used to eating 24/7.  He could out eat DH & I at every single meal.  He would inhale his food begging for more.  We had to start with table manners.  Take a normal size bite, put the fork down, chew up & swallow what's in your mouth before picking that fork back up.  Dinner time in our house was not fun.  He would sit there and SHOVEL his food into his mouth.  He would eat so fast that his stomach never felt full.  He basically went through Food Detox when he came to live with us.  It's been a rough 2 years, but we're finally seeing progress.  We do limit 2nds and dessert.  SS was used to having a huge dessert every single night.  It really hit SS last year when the kids at school began picking on him for being overweight.  Kids who he thought were friends started picking on him.  That's when he really got onboard and took an interest in changing his habits without fighting us.  

We try to do outdoor activities on the weekends to get out of the house, away from tv, etc....We got into Geocaching.  High tech treasure hunting.  SS loves hunting for & finding the Geocaches, but at the same time, we are hiking, tromping through the woods, etc....It's exercise.  He isn't the most athletic, coordinated child either.  He was so overweight, he couldn't run.  He would waddle.  We got him into Karate also.  It's low impact and it's a start to physical activity.  The program we got him into is just 1 Saturday morning every week.

SS used to complain about doing anything physical.  He would immediately complain about his feet hurting if we went to the park.  He had foot problems and wore orthotics because of the weight.  Thanks BM!  The Geocaching seemed to really get him up and out of the house.  My SS is ADHD and Geocaching gives him a goal to work towards.  We decide how many are we going to find today?  We put him in charge of the GPS unit and let him read which direction to go to find the prize.  He gets to be the leader of our Expedition.  I also have the Geocaching App on my phone running at the same time to make sure we don't get too far off track.  LOL   



KatLee42513
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 1:23 PM
Clearly there's more going on here then overeating and weight. Is there something emotionally going on? Do you need to step in and get a professional? 11 is a very sensitive age group.

I would also like to point out that education is the key. Controlling a child who is 11 "without really saying anytjing!" Is very dangerous. No, you shouldn't limit seconds you should buy ONLY healthy and nutritious foods, education, and most importantly communicate. Contrroling foods is not the way to go and at 11 you are navigating very dangerous waters.
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 2:08 PM
1 mom liked this

The rule in our house is that the kids can eat all of the fruits/veggies they want throughout the day.  Those are snacks.  But we don't keep things like chips and ice cream around.  It's for special occasions. We don't have desert every night.  We have pretty healthy meals.

My SDs used to binge on bread and cereal.  They still will if it's in the house so we don't have it in the house anymore.  I kid you not, my SD now 15 would eat an entire loaf of bread and the two of them would finish a box of cereal for a snack after school.  Not only is that not healthy, but it was danged expensive.

I think that in your situation, rather than making it about SD, just make it about having a healthy family.  Don't HAVE desert stuff or junk in the house.  Prepare healthy meals.  Provide healthy snack options.  Talk about the choose my plate stuff from the USDA:  http://www.choosemyplate.gov  

Do family activities outside--the geocaching is really fun btw!  

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