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"Replacing" a SK.... *Vent*

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 5:39 PM
  • 26 Replies

Couldn't think of a better title, sorry.

When I was pregnant with DS2, BM hoped and prayed I either have a boy, or miscarry. She told SD9 that this should b her thinking too, b/c if I had a girl, it would replace SD. BM told us this to our faces, this is how we know, there was no heresay, this didn't come from SD. Well, DS was a boy, all was good and the BS stopped.

I am 21 weeks, and just found out Tues. it is a girl. I can't control my uterus, it just happened to be a girl. This concept is lost on BM, however, and now there are more issues than ever. BM has told SD she is now replaced, and will probably be unwelcome here soon as a result. SD did not come over this weekend, DH called to talk to her, and she had a total breakdown. Almost every sentence out of her mouth started with "Mommy says..." You won't love me as much. You won't let me come over. Sm is having a girl, she did this on purpose. You are going to give the baby my stuff.  "Mommy says I don't have to come over if you are keeping THAT baby."

I am floored, and angry. ALL the kids were SO happy that we are having a baby, and now, SD is SO torn up and angry. There isn't a "fix" for this, I am keeping my baby. SD is coming over next weekend, hopefully, DH made it very clear, and he wants to talk to her about all this.


Ticker id: NomlLilypie - (ZEi4)


by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 5:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 5:48 PM

Has the mom admitted to saying these things? I would be a little suspicious that her mom said these things.

elisesmom922
by Silver Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 5:52 PM

BM was in the background reminding/prompting whatever you want to call it. we have never really been friends, but this is past her normal petty stuff.

Quoting whatIknownow:

Has the mom admitted to saying these things? I would be a little suspicious that her mom said these things.


Ticker id: NomlLilypie - (ZEi4)


Talis
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 6:20 PM

 Why would anyone want to do this to a child. This is just absolutely aweful and i feel for your SD. Best of luck to you and yours, but hopefully you can change that poor babys' perspective on things and tackle her insecurities.


Quoting elisesmom922:

BM was in the background reminding/prompting whatever you want to call it. we have never really been friends, but this is past her normal petty stuff.

Quoting whatIknownow:

Has the mom admitted to saying these things? I would be a little suspicious that her mom said these things.



 

singlemom416
by Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 6:34 PM

Do some extra special stuff with just yourself and sd. Let her help with preparing for the baby. Let her know she is so special to you that she is the only person you trust to set a good example of what a big sis is. Get some kid books for her that talk about how special it is to be a sister and even more special to be a big sister,how her siblings will look up to her.

singlemom416
by Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 6:37 PM
1 mom liked this

I would tell bm to stfu also. I would bluntly say you talk shit about us and I will make it my life's mission to prove you wrong,and in the end,years from now you will look like the biggest bitter bitch in your child's eyes. It will all be your fault for running your mouth,so suck on that!

Fullhouse1168
by on Sep. 14, 2013 at 6:43 PM
Omg... this is horrible! Sd was 10 when I had dd and I made it our baby. I let her plan everything and in my delivery room. Just involve her as much as possible. I would definitely have dh discuss this childish behavior with BM asap. This is cruel to sd.
Chibi_Kitten
by Krystal on Sep. 14, 2013 at 6:53 PM

 That's terrible! How can anyone intentionally want to hurt their child like that??

When I was pregnant with my daughter, my aunt kept saying stuff like that. I'm going to love the new baby more, I'm not going to have time for my son, I'm going to have a favorite, blah blah blah. My son was 4yo at the time, three months shy of 5yo when his sister was born. And yes, I do have a favorite. You can ask both my kids and they'll tell you that they're both my favorite child. Unless you get specific and ask who my favorite son/daughter is. lol

I would just remind your stepdaughter that she is an important part of the family, regardless of what anyone says and that you and your husband love her very much. Invite her to help with preparing for the baby, talk about what it means to be a big sister and all the fun things she can do. Also, once the baby is born, ask her to help with things (get the baby's blanket, hold her for a moment, ect.). My son absolutely LOVED being "responsible" for his baby sister.

vwd_johnson
by Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 7:01 PM
The fact that she's intentionally hurting her daughter is sick. Sad excuse of a parent. Take her out and do something special with her.

buy her a big sister short, and remind her all the fun stuff she will get to do with her little sister, painting nails, doing her hair, playing with your makeup etc..

see if she wants to go buy a new dress and then have her pick out a new dress for her new little sister to be.

Goodluck!

BM has the mentality we have replaced her son with our son as well. We don't think she says those direct words to SS, but she has to us, and does say stupid remarks to SS about how our house is the bad house and no fun because there's rules to follow and other kids to split time with and share with. Smh..
annabl1970
by Gold Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 7:03 PM
Are you sure BM is normal?
This is really crazy!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 7:15 PM

How old is SD?

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