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Lies we tell our children...

Posted by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 11:33 AM
  • 35 Replies

ok I wrote a post and it disappeared!!!

 

 Short story I lie to my kids about how and when Chucky cheese is open I despise that place because of the fact that every time I have been there people don't pay attention to their child's bad behaviour. Any ways I was discussing what to do about my kids upcoming birthday and some one suggested that and I said no and explained well that convo morphed into this.... A co workers DH and his EW have been lying to their ODD about their date of marriage they pushed it back a year because ...GASP BM was pregnant previous to saying  I Do !

Now SM wants to tell SD 12ish about the lie!!!! I asked her why would she do that to a child much less a child that is not hers! her answers range from, she deserves to know, BM made a fuss that SM was pregnant before she and DH got married and SD has snarky things to say about it! and it just wrong to lie!

I agree it a stupid thing to lie about but SD might very well be hurt if she ever finds out and I do understand SM problem with this but I wont be solved by telling SD about it !

I cant convince SM not to say anything she seems hell bent on saying something and we are not freinds outside of work ...

 So what is the biggest lieshavebeen  told your kids/ skids?

by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 11:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
DDDaysh
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 11:45 AM
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Well, I think 12 is an age where it might be appropriate to say something, but this is SOOOOO not SM's place to break the news.  

I lie to DS sometimes about things like Santa and the Tooth Fairy, though lately I've been doing more, "What do you think?" things.  There are times I have fibbed about certain venues being open.  I don't really lie to him too much though.  

DDDaysh
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this

Although, I do say "We'll see" an awful lot, when I know that the answer is probably (like 99.99% chance) going to be "no" in the end.  

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:25 PM

I try to be as age appropriately honest with my children as I can, but I am bad at it so at lot of times they get the harsh truth. If they don't understand I will explain otherwise they understand, some lies are just too stupid to tell my children, my DD6 and DD4 will tell me if something is silly if I give them a silly kid version. We don't do fairy tales or Santa or Easter Bunny, I never believed that stuff so I couldn't pass that on.

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:21 PM

I try not to lie, but I can be very, very vague in my answers.  My easy out is often directing my SK to ask DH or BM.  If they want to lie, so be it.  I'd rather not inadvertantly step in something by trying to answer some questions myself.

Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and such that have been mentioned by the PPs are conversations I avoid.  My family never did any of that stuff, but BM and DH do.  I haven't and will never blow their cover.  It's not something I engage in either though.  Every Christmas, SS will make exasperated comments about how some people say they don't believe in Santa, and I'm just like, "Mmm hmmm... different people believe in different things" with immediate change of subject.  To be honest, I find it somewhat distrurbing SS still believes in all that at 9 years old, but that's not my business.

The marriage date thing mentioned in the original post sounds more tit for tat than anything.  If the kid is judging SM by the same sin committed by BM and lied about, I would think BD should be man enough to clear the air on that one.  It's not SM's place.  The SD probably wouldn't accept the truth from SM anyway, so all she'd end up doing is stirring the pot.  But Chuckee Cheese... Oh, hell yes, I'll lie about CC being closed.  I hate that place.  Loud, chaotic, often filthy, and possibly the worst pizza on the planet. 

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:26 PM

Totally not SM's place in the OP situation to open her mouth.  

I can't think of much that I've ever lied about to the kids.  The only thing that comes to mind is that I didn't go on a big extended family vacation a couple of years ago and said that I couldn't go because I couldn't get time off.  Really, I just didn't want to go.  DH knew that I would rather have a root canal every day than go and I offered the work excuse to avoid hurt feelings with MIL/FIL/SIL/BIL, etc.  I don't think the kids cared either way.


soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:31 PM

Well we lied about the usual Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, etc

We lied/didn't mention to DS about the fact that he was adopted by DH until he was 12.

Our DD's still do not know the truth about that.


ETA: The reason we told DS about it was because of people like this nosey SM who feel it's appropriate to stick her nose someone it doesn't belong.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:38 PM

I can't think of any lies off the top of my head, but I would totally lie about Chucky Cheese being open.

I can understand the temptation of the SM to out BM's lie, but its' not just BM who has been lying, the dad has been lying too. In any case, the SD will eventually find out about the real date of their marriage. She just has to be patient.

twinklebites
by Silver Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:38 PM
I told her have DH break the news, not her. She claims DH is onbaord but since he is super busy at work (getting ready to deploy) he doesnt have the time. I told her he will have to make time if she tells SD shit is going to hit the fan!
Quoting DDDaysh:

Well, I think 12 is an age where it might be appropriate to say something, but this is SOOOOO not SM's place to break the news.  

I lie to DS sometimes about things like Santa and the Tooth Fairy, though lately I've been doing more, "What do you think?" things.  There are times I have fibbed about certain venues being open.  I don't really lie to him too much though.  


faerie75
by Platinum Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:39 PM

 i try not to say anything to the skids about BM. i dont like lying but if she wants to lie to them, they are her kids to lie to i guess.

twinklebites
by Silver Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 1:40 PM

Glad to know I am not he only one who doesn't care for Chucky Cheese!

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