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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Some SM's just don't get it!

Posted by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 11:56 AM
  • 347 Replies

I just do not get why some SM's think that they have any says in their step kids lives or why they think that they have a right to parent their Step kids. My kids do not have a step mom yet but I know for a fact I would be livid if when they do get a step mom if she thought she was their other mom or she tried overstepping or having them call her mom. I know disclaimers do apply and it's different if the mom is absent in the child's life that is one thing. But I am talking about what if the sm acts like that when the mom is very involved? 

by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 11:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LoveMy2x4
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:03 PM
4 moms liked this

Honestly, if the SM has the opportunity to act like that, then its just as much the Dads fault as it is hers. Not that I act like that (at all), but if I were to ever try...I know my SO would squash that shit real quick. 

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:03 PM
3 moms liked this
😳😳
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:04 PM
11 moms liked this

I believe most cases of SM overstepping occurs when Mom has left room for overstepping, either by not properly managing the co-parenting relationship with Dad or just leaving room herself for SM to overstep in.

DDDaysh
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:06 PM

huh?

Quoting momof2ex1:

😳😳


CarrieGemenon19
by Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:17 PM
46 moms liked this

Thats the price we pay with divorce & remarriage.

When my kids go to their fathers house, I understand that stepmom will be in 'mom mode' with all the duties that the title of Mom implies.

While my SO's son is at our house, I am in 'mom mode' as well. We have rules, guidelines, standards that need to be upheld.

I don't expect Patrick to ever call me 'Mom'. He has a mom. But he will understand that while at our house, I am the mom figure- to be obeyed and respected.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:19 PM
3 moms liked this

what? we NEVER see that kind of SM here in this group....

ha!

AAP1988
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I disagree that is not the price of divorce and remarriage. So your telling me just because my marriage didn't work out I should be okay with some women coming into my children's life and playing mom? No I don't think so I shouldn't have to SHARE parenting responsibilities with anyone but my sons father. 

Nobody should be the mom mode my children will never have another mom I believe a child has two parents a mom and dad step parents are not parents and I believe have no say in the raising of a child that is not theirs. I think the person who has a right to discipline a child is the biological parents not step parents. 

Also I don't think anyone should play the mom figure. The only person who should be the mom figure is the actual mom. Just because someone is respected does not mean they are a mom figure. I teach my children to respect all adults does that mean they are all mom figures? I think not. 


Quoting CarrieGemenon19:

Thats the price we pay with divorce & remarriage.

When my kids go to their fathers house, I understand that stepmom will be in 'mom mode' with all the duties that the title of Mom implies.

While my SO's son is at our house, I am in 'mom mode' as well. We have rules, guidelines, standards that need to be upheld.

I don't expect Patrick to ever call me 'Mom'. He has a mom. But he will understand that while at our house, I am the mom figure- to be obeyed and respected.



momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this
This is just going to start a war - that BMs are jealous and insecure ... And I couldn't find my popcorn emoji


Quoting DDDaysh:

huh?

Quoting momof2ex1:

😳😳



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:28 PM
2 moms liked this

Gina, is that you?

Damn, I'm craving italian food now.

Quoting whatIknownow:

what? we NEVER see that kind of SM here in this group....

ha!



momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 12:30 PM
I disagree. A nasty divorce with a bitter ex can cause an overstepping Sm. if managing my co-parenting relationship means that I have to walk away from being mom then that isn't going to work for me. The only answer for my situation would be for me to walk away - for my ex there is no other compromise. And that just isn't going to happen. Unfortunately I had to get a court order to stop the over stepping.


Quoting leegirl_jm:

I believe most cases of SM overstepping occurs when Mom has left room for overstepping, either by not properly managing the co-parenting relationship with Dad or just leaving room herself for SM to overstep in.


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